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How long to wait for H- BF to decide its okay?

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Been with a guy for a few months now. Everything is amazing. Disclosed at the start and he even spoke to a dr about the risks. Had sex a few times, and now couple months later he's says its giving him too much anxiety to continue having sex again as the relationship is still new. And he is also worried if he was to contract it he would never find someone else. However doesn't want this to end the relationship and wants to give it time to grow. He shows he really cares and wants to try but I'm afraid it will be a long wait. Any one with similar experiences and success???

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  • 1 month later...

Look, ultimately this is none of my business, but you should be with someone who is into you enough and mature enough to be okay with it. The fact is, there will always be some risk, and if he can't handle that, find a man who can. You're worth it.

Also, to be Frank, once you spell that out for him, I bet he wakes the fuck up. 

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I agree with @Ishmael (good to have you here, man).

@Kiwi91 — The self-defeating belief that seems to be at play here in this thinking you’re not enough. It’s having you assume that there aren’t other fish in the sea who will see the risk and jump on it. And maybe it’s just not a good match. Sometimes herpes happens to be the “make it or break it” to relationship — and not because herpes is inherently a dealbreaker, but that it can be what actually highlights the incompatibility that was already there to begin with.

Also, sometimes paranoia and stigma from others can trigger and exacerbate our own internal paranoia and self-inflicted stigma. Please don’t let that happen in you. You’ve done everything great as far as I can tell. Be strong in who you are. Be proud of who you are. The integrity and trust you displayed is admirable. You disclosed early on. You kept him safe and involved in the discussion. Good on you. 

You’re the total package. And that total package just so happens to include a simple skin condition called herpes. Own it all, sister. 


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  • This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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