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It's been a weird couple of weeks I've been really craving sex a lot and I'm not ashamed to admit I'm probably a sex addict but the h changes quite a bit I've honestly only ever had one long term relationship in my life and it was only 8 months (the girl who gave me the h) when I'm sober I'm fine I can resist the temptation but when I drink it's a different story I did fuck up and sleep with a friend which she knew about the h but it was irresponsible of both of us. Honestly I could use some advice on how to go about finding new relationships.

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Well, there is no easy way. To find a great relationship, you'll have to dig through dating and deal with a lot of disappointment.

I think the first question when someone asks for dating / relationship advice is really one of finding out what you want.

There is nothing wrong with having a few and getting lucky, by the way. You disclosed before getting physical, the rest is a matter of the other person's responsibility. You certainly have no reason to regret being desireable and available.

But you can probably start the journey of seeking a relationship by thinking about what it is you really want. If the honest answer is to seek casual sex for a while longer (or the rest of your life), there is nothing wrong with that. But, if you really do want to get into something stable, that's a bit bigger of a challenge.

First, you probably know a few things you definitely don't want. Based on that, you can figure out what kind of person might fit that image. 

Next, decide what you think you do want. Lots of talk? physical touch? Very little touch? Lots of Independence? Those are very personal things and you should consider them needs. Only a person who is right for you will get those things right consistently, because it has to be part of their nature.

Don't fall victim to stereotypes here. Even if you're into silence, rope bondage, and want to be able to watch porn regularly, there are many kinds of people who would fit that kind of relationship. Doctors, cashiers, accountants, engineers and hedgefund managers. All kinds of people can fit your ideal image of a relationship. It's just a matter of finding someone who earns your respect, admiration and does so naturally.

Finally, consider the kind of person you are. Do you feel like the person you have assembled in your imagination finds you ideal as well?

This is the second most common place people struggle, deciding who they need to be to attract the person they want. The biggest folly here being that you can't fake it forever, they'll learn who you are eventually. Sometimes that means learning to accept and appreciate yourself, sometimes that means hammering your looks and your personality into someone better. Usually, it's a little bit of both.

Don't discount the impact that some dating techniques can have. Being a good first date is just as important as being a good teammate in a relationship. It's not just being respectful and courteous, it's body language and topics of conversation, too.

If you want to find an ideal match, you'll have to work at it. Go on lame dates, get rejected, work on the little imperfections, until you finally meet someone that makes a good potential match. Then, have the courage to voice your desire for another date, a call on the weekend, or however you move forward, knowing it might not work out anyway.

Personally, I found being honest and straightforward sped things up for me. Either to seal the deal, or to move on and find someone else's time to waste (most often the latter, haha!) Dating apps work, but the attention seems to ebb and flow. Combine courageously asking for numbers in person when you're going about your day-to-day with putting up some dating profiles. Even if you are totally honest about what you're looking for, you'll probably get a lot of attention from people who either don't believe what you say, or don't care what you're looking for.

You just gotta keep trying.

As a dude, my best piece of advice is square off both your hips and shoulders and make eye contact. In my mind, I would remind myself with the phrase, "engage the enemy directly." Dudes tend to stand side-by-side and talk facing the same direction as our friends and allies. To women, that body language is one of callousness (or weakness, I guess). Even though it would be agressive for two guys to square off toward each other for an entire conversation, to women it repesents interest and attention (I guess).

Aside from that whole essay, you really won't find any shortcuts. I guess if you knew you wanted to date a nurse, you could drop by the ER a couple times a week...

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Just be yourself!!! Keep living life as you did and someone will come along. You have not changed. I've had this almost 4 decades, been married for 22 yrs. Never passed this on to anyone and I have hvs2 and am on daily anti viral. Just continue to disclose and use protection. Life is not only good, but GREAT!!!

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