Jump to content
  • Want to be a part of a supportive community? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum! We are a supportive and positive group to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have. Get your free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

Just diagnosed..so lost, so many questions

Recommended Posts

Hi all!

I don't even know where to begin..  Im 25, and I was just diagnosed and I don't even know where to begin. I haven't told anyone. I don't know how to tell anyone. I've been seeing the same guy for the last few months, we never had the talk before we had sex for the first time, but we were safe. How was I supposed to know you could get herpes still !! I don't think I've learned as much about it in sex ed or at school, then I've learnt by googling it the past few days. Why is there no fricken education on this! It's little comfort that it's common and people in my everyday life could have it and not know. I've been having troubles in other aspects of my life and finding this out was just the fricken cherry on top. At least it can't get worse than crying every night because you're in so much pain and can't sleep. And everything hurting. 

I don't even know how to ask the guy to get tested. I don't know if I find more comfort in knowing if he gave it to me, since symptoms developed between the 2-12 day range after the last time we had sex, even though he had no symptoms at the time (or that I saw or knew of). Or knowing I've had it longer, it's just been dormant. Who the frick knew, it's not included in regular testing. That's frustrating. 

I'm so fricken pissed. I'm so mad at myself for being so stupid, for not knowing I've never been tested with regular testing. For not knowing to ask about an infection that could have zero symptoms. I'm so mad that I'm so uneducated and now I'm stuck with this for the rest of my life. 

I know it's manageable and doesn't have to effect quaility of life. But it already is. I know I shouldn't feel ashamed to say I have it, but I am. 

I hate this. I'm so frustrated with myself. 

How do you even begin to tell people or talk about it. 

Link to comment

Welcome, @Canuckgirl. I'm sorry it's so hard for you. Know that it gets better. You're in good company. You've started on a good foot of reaching out instead of withdrawing. It's a huge step. 

Do your best to not beat yourself up that you feel ashamed. It's not that you are somehow weak or broken. It's because our culture unfortunately reinforce a stigma that shouldn't be there in the first place. The good news is that it can be overcome through self-introspection, knowledge and time. 

First, download the free e-book here:

And here's a video to watch that is an overview of the facts:


  • Like 1

This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

Helpful resources:

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...