Success in the practice & laughter

[SeraLyn]

Hello Again My H Star Family 😊

It has been awhile since I've lurked or posted anything - I stared grad school in August and honestly, between that and working full-time, I barely have time for anything else.  However, the progress made with accepting my Team HSV2 status has not suffered.  I found a few other great sources including some podcasts which are really inspiring and educational to listen to.  Hearing from H Vets is one of the best sources of information...aside the ton of medical research of course 😊

So anyway,  I've had the pleasure of disclosing my Team HSV2 status to my bestestest friend - my sister - mother - and my booty buddy.  I must say, the more I've talked about it, the less I'm stressed about it.  My girlfriend had to process for a second before asking me, "you can still go out right?" LOL - I love her to death.  My sister said "aww boo" and asked a bunch of questions, which was great cuz I felt like I got to share all the new information I learned.  My mom said, "That sucks. Meh, it's no big deal. Just a step above craps, except you can't get rid of it."  Seriously, my mom had my dying laughing with that one.  She also seemed to know A LOT of information I was ready to share with her, which really got me to thinking...so uh mom, how do you know so much?? But that'll be another conversation. 

Finally, my booty buddy.  With school and work schedule, I hadn't seen him since I was first diagnosed in July except once last month where I sidestepped his advances.  When he finally came over to do my lawn (no euphemism, he really is my gardener too, lol) last Saturday, I let him know what was up.  At first, he was shocked - which I expected, asked me what happened and we had pretty good and productive half hour talk about it.  He actually surprised me, cuz before he left, we still hooked up afterwards (thank goodness, cuz it's been a minute!!).  I'm not pressed if I don't hear from him again, and kinda don't expect to (it ain't that good to cry over), regardless, I'm proud of myself for having a very open and candid conversation with him.

Some things that helped me have successful conversations and may help you:

• I prepared myself with knowledge.  Breaking it down that there are 5 herpes strains including chicken pox, shingles & cold sores SERIOUSLY changed the whole tone cuz EVERYONE has heard of or had one of these.  I'm not saying it makes it easier, but when I explained the commonness of the virus overall, it just didn't seem like that big a deal.
• I took a page from a podcast and said to myself every day in the mirror, "my name is "SeraLyn" I have Herpes and...<insert positive attribute>" It made me feel 1) a lot more comfortable saying the word herpes, saying i have herpes, and reminding myself of the plethora of attributes I have.  
• I practiced on my closest friends and trusted family.  If they reacted poorly, who the F cares what some stranger thinks?  And honestly, if the ones closest to you don't care, again, who the F cares what some stranger thinks? (logically i know this makes sense, emotionally is another story - I get it, however, this goes back to you valuing yourself versus letting someone else's opinion dictate your value).
• With the booty buddy, I said it in a way he could understand - stats are great and have their purpose, however, not everyone cares or can relate to numbers.  Telling someone the have a higher chance of getting hit by a car driving home than exposing them to the virus might makes more sense than % risk of exposure. I'm not saying I used that exact example, but relatability  helps. 
• Repeating that I am telling what's up he had a choice what to do next was probably they best sentence ever.  He told me more than one how much he respected that I told him and acknowledged how difficult it had to be. And I think that's a big key right..even if you get a negative reaction, you did the right thing and can only be respected for that. Even if they don't respect you, YOU should respect you for giving another person the choice you may not (or may) have been given. 

Anyway - so there it is - I'm sure once I get some breathing time between quarters (yay right) I might meet someone I wanna get down with at which point and have the talk again.  I honestly don't foresee it happening in the near future - seriously, school is f'ing crazy. 

Stay strong H Family  🤗🤗

 

 

 

[Jasmine10]

great post! Thank you so much for sharing your tips are great!

[Michgirl73]

Thank you great information! And Good for you! 

[SeraLyn]

I'm glad they''re helpful 🙂 

I'll keep you posted how next stage dating goes 🙂