I'm going to end my life tonight

[Loyalloulou]

I'm so heart broken. I can't go on. I haven't told anyone. I can't stop crying. I can't get these thoughts out of my head. 

[Sil88]

Give yourself time to heal and relax. It becomes insignificant I promise. There's a billion people with this and most of them rightly couldnt care less. The beginning is manic because of the stigma - once you get past that point you'll realise. If you're really at the bottom, forget about you and your problems and think of others you can help in any little ways - shift the attention off the herpes thing for a while.

[Nathalie]

@Loyalloulou You are not alone. Everyone in this community is here to support you. Please, please, please call the National Suicide Lifeline if you are at that point 1-800-273-8255. 

I found out recently that I was positive and in just three weeks, I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You are the same person you were before you found out you were positive and you will continue to be. It is so incredibly common and with time, people will become more and more educated and it will become less stigmatized. Right now you are just experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions, I did too. I let myself cry when I needed to and then I read and read and read and realized how common this is - it's just a skin issue. You need to be kind with yourself right now. I promise it gets better. And when it feels incredibly tough, please reach out to this community. Please call someone you trust. You are the same wonderful person you have always been. 

[Amando]

@Loyalloulou

Please call that number Nathalie put up, they will help you!

I feel down sometimes, but wow, we get one shot at this life & I really promise you H is not worth destroying your life for.

Cry as much as you want, seek love from family members & talk to friends

You are a wonderful person & the world needs wonderful people, stay strong, believe, you will get there!

Massive Hugs!

[Guy00]

There's no one close to you who you trust that you can tell what you're going through? And who will keep it between you two?  Maybe your mom? A best friend?  Being able to let others you trust know about your situation will help a great deal. 

[organicmama]

@Loyalloulou I have been there and sometimes I am still in that place. I am angry at my son's father for knowingly passing this to me. I am angry at myself for trusting someone else who didn't have basic respect for my body. I am sad that I no longer feel comfortable in my own skin. I am sad that I did not realize how lucky I was to be H free when I was. I never thought this would happen to me. I am literally bagging my clothes every night before I throw them down the shoot, bleaching my towels after every use, washing my clothes separately from my child's, and sanitizing my hands so many times a day that my skin hurts. But every day I cry a little less, I educate myself a little more, and I reach out to people who I can trust. I reached out to my girlfriend and told her what was going on with me.. and she ended up only caring that my son's father knowingly gave it to me and then rattled off a long list of other people who she knows have it & how it's really not that big of a deal. Do I still feel it's not? No. But I will get there one day.. I hope. I am doing ozone therapy, eating a gluten-free, organic, all natural diet, and taking a lot of immune boosting & antiviral supplements. I am seeing an MD who does my ozone who had her own OBGYN practice for 30 years, my OBGYN in town is monitoring my blood work, my general physician said she will give me antivirals if I ever need them, and I am seeing a therapist to work through the mental piece. So far I have only had one very mild OB.  I am kind of a health freak so having this blow to my system has been ROUGH for me. On top of that, I'm a germaphobe. Every day I am telling myself I am doing everything I can to make it better. I am trying not to beat myself up for trusting someone I shouldn't have. I am learning to love myself again. It's not easy, some days I take 3 steps back, then the next day I take one step forward.. but one day.. I'll be okay and you will be, too. In the meantime, I'm here. I understand. We are all here for you.