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Loyalloulou

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Everything posted by Loyalloulou

  1. @TequilaGirl I recently had one and th e results where negative
  2. @mr_hopp @TequilaGirl @Star28 I say this because the first person I ever had sex got me pregnant and he ask did i take a hiv test.i freaked out and became selfish *I got an abortion.. I didn't want to bring a kid in this world like that... eventually I did get one and it came negative and every since my results been negative... that's been since 2012 will my results change?
  3. I'm thinking the worst. I'm even depressed and stressed because i don't have anyone to talk to about this
  4. I've had these sores/razor like bumps downstairs since August 2018.which was when I was diagnosed with hsv1.. I can't stand to look at myself anymore. I don't think I can move on in life. I don't want to be the one who ruins someone life. im advoing my spouse bc I don't want to be the one to fuck up his life. I won't be able to leave my life like this. I have suicidal thoughts all the time. no one knows but me and my spouse. he says everything going to be okay. and he still wants to be with me. I feel like a monster bc we have unprotected sex he says he doesn't care about it and that he will always love me for me. I feel guilty even though he wants too. I feel even more disgusted because I don't know when I'm having an outbreak or anything.
  5. @Carmensandiego I get depressed and paranoid when I have contact with a kid. I fear that I will pass it on to an innocent child. I recently had a cold sore/blister more like a pimple on my lip and I totally forgot about it. I made a mistake and kind of put my lips on my one-year old nephew. the side of the my lip wasn't infected. then we were on vacation and I stayed inside the resort all day bc of it. he started wit a rash all over his body but it started way before i even did that but I'm freaking out bc I think it's my fault!!!
  6. @Carmensandiego I get depressed and paranoid when I have contact with a kid. I fear that I will pass it on to an innocent child. I recently had a cold sore/blister more like a pimple on my lip and I totally forgot about it. I made a mistake and kind of put my lips on my one-year old nephew. the side of the my lip wasn't infected. then we were on vacation and I stayed inside the resort all day bc of it. he started wit a rash all over his body but it started way before i even did that but I'm freaking out bc I think it's my fault!!!
  7. it's one of those nights.. I contemplate about killing myself. I get sick to my stomach knowing that I have something that won't go away. I get depressed paranoid bc I think it'll lead to something else or I will pass it on to a kid. I just shut down completely when I come on contact with a kid. I be so mean but that's only bc I want to protect them. my relationship with my bf haven't changed. I'm guessing. he cheated on me but I'm the one was punished with hsv1. he okay he still want to move on have kids even unprotected sex but I feel like a monster. what if I give it to him? he said he didn't care and he still loves me and what yo be with me.. Is it bc he cheated on me and feel bad..I try to dodge having sex idk when I'm having am outbreak or not. I feel like it will lead to hiv/aids or me giving to someone I love but I'll break me even more if I gave it to a kid.. sorry to be all over the place. it's just one of those nights
  8. I had a cold sore which was healing and I completely forgot and made a mistake a kind of put my lips on my one-year old nephew.. I'm so paranoid and freaking bc now he has a rash all over his body.. which kinda was starting before i even touch him. I get so sad if I get close to kids bc I don't want to ruin anyone life. could I possibly have gave him hsv1
  9. @Jenn88 no. I haven't taken any medicine since I gotten diagnosed
  10. @Elle27 I used it the same day but later on in the day he used it:(
  11. I thought I can cope with this but after my nephew got a hold to my chapstick it brought me back to day one. I get depressed and sad all over again. I'm scared of giving it to the people I love I don't want to ruin anyone life:(
  12. my. nephew got a hold to my chapstick will he catch hsv1? I'm freaking out he's only 2 years old.. I do think I had a outbreak
  13. same here @anniemilly only difference my Dr didn't give me any meds or information
  14. I was diagnosed with hsv1 but I'm having a rash in my pubic hair area *sorry tmi... every time I get swab culture it comes back negative both blood test POSITIVE. 1st one was 51.80 2nd one was 34.40.. I'm scared to go bc I feel like something else is going to happen
  15. @ubikwity thanks so much lately I've been going through with no where to turn
  16. I'm going through the same thing. every swab I get is negative... bloodwork was positive 51.80 then weeks later it's was 34.40
  17. today I thought about killing myself. today I stayed in bed and cried all day. the though of having this makes me sad. :(. im very paranoid. I'm going to give it to the kids that be here. I would really go crazy if I give it any child. I hate myself. I find myself throwing cups and silverware away. bc I'm scared I'll pass this on to some one. I isolate mys elf from around others. I really hate myself. I have nobody to vent to. how can I have hsv1 when I have rash in my pubic hair area. and it been there for almost two months. this has to be somethin else. deep down I know something else is wrong but I'm afraid to go to the Dr
  18. I seriously believe that I have something else or maybe I'm in denial. this can't be hsv1 it has to be something else but my blood work proves differently. can anyone tell me the difference between the two hsv1 and ghsv1 and shingles
  19. exactly. okay they say it's a skin condition/disease but why does it stay it shows up in blood. I'm actually accepting the fact that I have it* I was recently diagnosed with hsv1. Drs doesnt care about it. I didn't get any information or medication. each Dr told me it wasn't anything to worryabout! but deep down inside I felt like something was wrong I know my body. but this is motivation for me to continue school and find a cure for herpes. your future scientist
  20. I went through the same this. each doctor told me the same thing they told you. each time I swab it came back negative!! did bloodwork twice and it came back positive for hsv1!!! I had the same symptoms as you but it was down stairs. only difference between us is that i am a female
  21. I never had one day a day in my life. this is so confusing.
  22. I got blood test twice each time different numbers it went form 51.80 to 34.40 for hsv1
  23. The more I pray the worst it gets I pray everyday god take me soon. I fight everyday to not think about killing myself I know I'm going to do it just don't know when I'm tired. No one will ever love me or accept me I'll never be happy. I'm only 24 and my life is at a stand still. All I ever wanted to do was to get married and have kids. It makes me sick to my stomach to even look at one or even when one comes near me. And lately my nieces and nephews been stuck under as if they can feel if something is wrong. I just pushed them away
  24. God has truly punished me. These last two years has been the worst year of my life and it's going to continue to get worse. I cry all day everyday I'm losing sleep weight and my job threatening to fire me. I only told one person and that person has turn there back on me. It's eating me up inside bc I really have nobody and killing myself is the only option I have left
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