Question

[Alisonbr]

So I recently started dating this guy who is buddies with my step dad . He and I both recently asked for all std testing . Both of ours came back negitive . No surprise to me . I’ve only been with my two ex bf’s and got tested about six months after both Relationships before I entered another relationship. I have access to my most recent test on chart online and went back and looked and since when is herpes not apart of std testing ? I was tested for everything but and I’m wondering if they did the same to him. I know I didn’t have it because after I had sex with my new boyfriend I could feel something was wrong just 2-3 days later . So I went in and found out I have genital herpes and they did a blood test to see if it was a previous or recent exposure. It was recent !!! He swears up and down that he had no idea and had no symptoms and his recent std testing all case back negitive . So I wonder if his std testing didn’t include herpes like mine ? Anyone else have this ? He swears he hadn’t been with anyone since before the testing. Also my outbreak went away after 3 weeks but I’m feeling sick , tired,fatigued, low energy. Just completely drained . Is this from the herpes? Is it permanent or am I still in outbreak? Prior to this I’ve always had a low immune system . I have some other medical conditions like fibromyalgia, low iron, chronic pain, migraines, arthritis.

[100918]

I was tested no less than 5 times in the past 10 years (NO partners during that time - was tested for unrelated purposes), and every time, my testing all came back "negative for STDs". I finally met a man that I could see getting intimate with , and insisted that we both get tested, even though I already KNEW I was clean...I mean, I had no less than 5 tests that all came back clean, right?

I went and got my testing done and told my doctor "test for everything", already KNOWING that my results would be perfect, and then my world shattered when my doctor's office called me and told me that everything came back negative except for HSV2. I was in shock. Insisted they were wrong. Insisted that I had been tested! I had all the paperwork! I grabbed it and read off all of the tests that were previously done, and they said "That list did not include HSV". And as it turns out, NONE of the testing that I'd had done in the past 10 years included HSV.

I told the guy I'd been seeing right away (note to self: don't disclose in the first 15 minutes after finding out...bad idea), before I had even taken time to research what it meant. I'd had no outbreaks that I had known of the entire time, and I had NO idea. He decided that I'm not worth continuing to get to know. His loss...

So, all that to say, I fully believe that his testing likely did not include any testing for HSV, and he either had no idea that he has it, or he knew and specifically did not ask for that testing so he could play stupid. I tend to believe it's the first option. He just didn't know. If I had not insisted on getting tested again, just for "fairness" sake of making my potential partner get tested, I easily could have passed it to him and not known.

[Elle27]

12 hours ago, Alisonbr said:

So I recently started dating this guy who is buddies with my step dad . He and I both recently asked for all std testing . Both of ours came back negitive . No surprise to me . I’ve only been with my two ex bf’s and got tested about six months after both Relationships before I entered another relationship. I have access to my most recent test on chart online and went back and looked and since when is herpes not apart of std testing ? I was tested for everything but and I’m wondering if they did the same to him. I know I didn’t have it because after I had sex with my new boyfriend I could feel something was wrong just 2-3 days later . So I went in and found out I have genital herpes and they did a blood test to see if it was a previous or recent exposure. It was recent !!! He swears up and down that he had no idea and had no symptoms and his recent std testing all case back negitive . So I wonder if his std testing didn’t include herpes like mine ? Anyone else have this ? He swears he hadn’t been with anyone since before the testing. Also my outbreak went away after 3 weeks but I’m feeling sick , tired,fatigued, low energy. Just completely drained . Is this from the herpes? Is it permanent or am I still in outbreak? Prior to this I’ve always had a low immune system . I have some other medical conditions like fibromyalgia, low iron, chronic pain, migraines, arthritis.

Hi  dear, it’s never part of routine testing for STD panels unless you specifically ask for it... the CDC doesn’t recommend routine testing because they feel that it’s so common and most people “won’t change their sexual encounter habits”. I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. I went through the very same thing starting about 6 weeks ago. I hadn’t been with anyone in 4 years, and been tested multiple times for STD’s (which i thought were everything) during that time. My current boyfriend had also been recently tested (not knowing they weren’t testing for herpes) and I contracted it at some point. First outbreak started the week before 9/11 and I’m just finally healing up after two rounds of acyclovir. I still have numbing, tingling all over, and Im very tired. I think after the first outbreak it will take time to get back to “normal” but you may have some signs or symptoms of the virus at times even when you aren’t having an outbreak. I’m sorry you have to manage this on top of your other health conditions. You’ve come to the right place, everyone on this forum has been so helpful and supportive. 

 

Hang in there!

elle 

[Alisonbr]

Thank you so much . I think it should be , I know personally my sexual habits will become even safer and I truly believe that he would of changed his as well and would have taken antivirals to protect me . He actually wanted to kill himself when I told him that he gave me hsv2 . He has major guilt.

[Alisonbr]

Are you still with your bf ? I’m kind of on a break rn . Trying to figure out if o can truly move past this and not deep down resent him.

[Elle27]

I am still with my boyfriend, we have only been together 5 months so it’s definitely been a challenge to deal with something so difficult early on in a new relationship. I truly believe he had no idea that he was positive. I am not blaming or angry with him because it doesn’t change the situation. He has been so supportive and positive through this whole thing and it’s honestly brought us closer together. I’m angry that I contracted herpes but it could have been someone previous or it could have been the next person I was with. We both had no idea that a full panel didn’t include HSV testing. I find myself upset at times because I’ve had some complications and my first outbreak lasted almost two months. He doesn’t experience herpes in the way that I do, he’s never had an outbreak and so he doesn’t really feel the diagnosis in the ways that I do. He also feels bad that he gave it to me but we don’t dwell on it. 

 

Its still a work in progress figuring out how to work through this but overall I’m confident that I am falling in love with him and that we will work through this. 

[Alisonbr]

That’s great . It gives me hope . Our stituation is very similar. He has no symptoms and had no idea but me I felt it two days later and my outbreak was two weeks and now in week 3 with no pain down there but major fatigue.

[Elle27]

Yeah I think I’m finally clearing up but still feeling some residual pain and fatigue. I hope things work out for you and wish you the best!

[Elle27]

11 hours ago, Alisonbr said:

That’s great . It gives me hope . Our stituation is very similar. He has no symptoms and had no idea but me I felt it two days later and my outbreak was two weeks and now in week 3 with no pain down there but major fatigue.

My boyfriend finally got his lab test done today and I’ll have results Monday. His doc and my doc went under the assumption that I did get it from him. Nervous to have the results back. He says he’s fine with the result either way. I’ll keep you updated. 

[Elle27]

On 10/26/2018 at 1:22 PM, Elle27 said:

My boyfriend finally got his lab test done today and I’ll have results Monday. His doc and my doc went under the assumption that I did get it from him. Nervous to have the results back. He says he’s fine with the result either way. I’ll keep you updated. 

His IGg came back positive for hsv2 so it’s most likely that i got it from him. I’m feeling relieved.

[Alisonbr]

That good . I have no igg only igm so I think that proves my bf gave it to me plus he’s never had symptoms tell this day still ...lucky for him not me . I felt the diffesnce in my body two days after our first time . Hey is it weird that he still has t we t I. To get herpes test . I been asking him to get it for two months now just to make sure I didn’t get a false positive and got done else . Cause at first I thought I shaved hemroids by accident 

[Elle27]

8 hours ago, Alisonbr said:

That good . I have no igg only igm so I think that proves my bf gave it to me plus he’s never had symptoms tell this day still ...lucky for him not me . I felt the diffesnce in my body two days after our first time . Hey is it weird that he still has t we t I. To get herpes test . I been asking him to get it for two months now just to make sure I didn’t get a false positive and got done else . Cause at first I thought I shaved hemroids by accident 

I asked my boyfriend to get tested so he could make an informed decision about how to move forward, mostly with how careful to be during sex in the future. He was hesitant because he wanted to just assume that he had it and gave it to me, he finally went to the Dr. and they ordered labs but then he waited 30 days to go back to have the labs done. He finally had them done and tested positive for HSV2 and it brought a sense of relief for myself. He feels fine with the results either way but he’s glad that he knows his status now. He went to a university clinic so the testing was very inexpensive.