He didn't care

[MarieH]

I told someone I have been seeing. I hadn't let things get to physical level for weeks. We were kissing and he asked me what was wrong. I guess I was more transparent then I thought...so I told him. He didn't care. I care more then he does. I still don't feel ready to have sex, this DX is new to me so I'm still adjusting my head to the reality of sex. It's the last barrier of neg thought I have left is concern over risking someone else. someone NICE. He assures me he doesn't care so this is something I need to get over for myself. 

[herpnerve]

How did you go about telling him? 

[MarieH]

14 hours ago, herpnerve said:

How did you go about telling him? 

good, I had prepared a whole thing. Wrote down all the facts, calculated his risks per year, explained it to a T. He only looked alittle upset for a few mins while I was talking then said right away he didn't care. I still made him sleep on it and tell me again. still doesn't care. 

He keeps saying how it doesn't matter and if that's why some days i need space it shouldn't be the reason. but some days I do need space. Like today. first time I had sex since my DX yesterday. and i saw a very small cold sore pop up on my lip this morning (no oral happened bc I'm still learning to be comfortable in my own skin again). I've never had one on my lip: this is new and something I'l have to talk to him about. He doesn't understand how I feel about it but accepts it. 

luckly he's a really good guy and takes my leave me alone days in stride. 

[Ishmael]

To be honest, if someone made a big deal out of disclosing HSV-1, my reaction would probably be to laugh. I mean more people than not have this virus. I would assume that anyone I hooked up with probably had it. The only people this is a big deal for are people that don't know or understand that fact. Sorry, but HSV-1 is barely a thing to me.

[Ishmael]

"But it's on my genitals!" Yeah, who cares?