I need success stories of disclosing before one night stands (from guys)

[unbreakable]

So I’m a young woman and I have infected a guy I was with. I was severely depressed during that time and unable to take responsibility for anything, but on our date it wasn’t really visible because the game of trying to show each other our most fun side distracted me to some extent so I felt and looked kinda happy. 

Anyway, it’s been a year, we’ve kept in touch, and he’s still heartbroken about his freedom. He’s one of those people who can chat anyone up anytime anyplace. He used to work in sales, he’s never shy, and he looks good as hell too. His favourite thing to do used to be what a lot of other people in their 20s do, chatting with attractive people randomly and adding them on social media to stay in touch. He was pretty successful at it too we could say. He never got “there” with anyone else though, except for me. (Such terrible luck!) 

This is over. The steps to some no strings spontaneous fun are no longer oh, hi, wow, I am XY, so are so..., and let’s go. He might never experience a real one night stand because SOMEWHERE in between these steps telling them about this ugly virus is a must. Even if they accept it, it breaks the natural flow of the conversation/interaction. Even if they accept it, it can mess up the way they look at each other. Even if the accept it, they can feel sorry instead of feeling attracted like they did before. Even if they don’t judge it, they very well might not want to risk their own health. Let alone what happens and how some women would react when they can’t accept it! 

(And now I haven’t even mentioned looking for a relationship... or starting a family... If he ever wants to have children he will have to have sex with his girlfriend/wife without protection, and if she contracts the virus C-section will be the only safe way to deliver the baby without getting in touch with herpes, and that can leave ugly scars and can lead to weight gain in some cases... Well, I’ll just stop making myself cry here. It’s a tragedy.)

So please, drop all of your stories here, so that I can imagine that it’s not impossible for him to live the lifestyle he wants. Might even share some of them with him, without mentioning names or any other information. 

Thank you guys.

[J.L2018]

Hey so I’m recently diagnosed so I can’t offer that much help , however I’m sure that’s not the case! I’m sure he can still do all these things if he wants, yeah disclosure absolutely sucks ( I’ve not done it yet but I’m terrified) however it really is only a skin condition , it isn’t life threatening, it isn’t scary once people know the facts, so I’m sure he will find women who think he is worth the risk and even if this isn’t the case and it means it’s hard to have one night stands, at least now he knows he can find someone who truly wants to be with him and that in itself is a blessing! not to meanition the fact it’s extremely common so he might even be super lucky and find someone who already has it ! With the whole relationship and starting a family situation, he could take anti virals whilst trying to maybe slightly lessen the chance of transmission, but if the woman gets hsv2 before  she can go on to have a healthy pregnancy and as long as she isn’t breaking out at the stage of delivering the baby she can go on to have a natural delivery ! Any pregnancy has the chance of a C-section, so this is really no different ! Honestly I know it’s hard and I know the guilt is going to be hard to deal with but don’t overthink it, I’m sure everything will work out fine in the end x