A bit scared, and looking for support on how to deal w/ wife.

[branj]

I know a lot of folks on this forum have been diagnosed as HSV positive, so please don't take offense from my fear.  My wife and I took a 3 month break where we saw other people, and both decided to reconcile next weekend.  That said, 4 nights ago I had protected sex with a woman I met at a bar.  About 22 hours after the encounter, I started having some tingling on my pubic area running up to the right side of my penis.  The sensations occur in an area the size of a silver dollar and have come and gone for the past 72 hours.  There's no sign of any lesions or sores.  The area around the space is also getting sore, I suspect from pressing on it so much.  The last thing I've noticed is general fatigue.

Probably not relevant, but I had a hernia repair surgery many years ago on the same size, and the nerve in that area is actually damaged.

The only two things that seem to make sense to me are an HSV infection, trauma or anxiety exacerbating my sensations down there.  I'm really concerned about how to have this conversation with my wife.  My doctor said most frequently herpes presents on the penis (granted I was protected), prodrome usually only lasts for 24 hours, and it shouldn't present as quickly as it did.  Basically he said, I'd be taking a 1 in 5 chance the woman was positive, a 1 in 1000 chance of getting infected, and having all sorts of symptoms presenting atypically.  So he feels it's highly improbable to be HSV. That said, the forums are full of people having strange symptoms and tingling starting as soon as 24 hours after.  

I'm really just looking for two things:

1. Support and encouragement w/ some feedback on whether anyone else has had a similar presentation that ended up being HSV.
2. Advice on how to deal w/ my wife as we get back together. I don't want to sleep w/ her if I'm in the middle of a primary OB, but don't want to tell her I may have HSV if my PCP thinks I don't

 

Sorry for being ridiculous.

 

 

[Ishmael]

Getting symptoms in the first 48 hours isn't just rare, it's unheard of. Nothing about what you are posting here indicates herpes and it's more likely you have some hypochondria mixed with guilt/shame. The best way to avoid herpes is to stay in a committed relationship with a monogamous partner when you're both negative. 

[Cwgrl100]

I'm obviously not a doctor but with what your PCP is saying, and with your nerve damage from your hernia it does kinda sound like you may be making yourself more stressed about it than you should. And our mind is our biggest problem in times like this. 

But to be safe anyway, you could always tell your wife about the encounter and that you would rather be safe than sorry regarding all STDs, and to just wait on sex and then do a whole panel in a month or so. It would probably put your mind at ease and I'm sure if she loves you, she'd understand.

[alllgood]

On 1/5/2019 at 9:58 PM, Ishmael said:

Getting symptoms in the first 48 hours isn't just rare, it's unheard of. Nothing about what you are posting here indicates herpes and it's more likely you have some hypochondria mixed with guilt/shame. The best way to avoid herpes is to stay in a committed relationship with a monogamous partner when you're both negative. 

I actually had symptoms of what I thought was a UTI and possible BV within 48 hours, along with mild flu symptoms, and it ended up being my primary OB when I started getting lesions a day or two after that. 

[Ishmael]

2 hours ago, alllgood said:

I actually had symptoms of what I thought was a UTI and possible BV within 48 hours, along with mild flu symptoms, and it ended up being my primary OB when I started getting lesions a day or two after that. 

Was your transmission a one off or from someone that you had sex with more than the one time? Studies have shown that the incubation timeline of the virus is at least 48 hours, and the literature seems very firm on this. So the question becomes are you a statistical anomaly or did you experience what are very commonplace symptoms from something else that happened to segue with your primary outbreak and could have helped exacerbate it. Or possibly you contracted herpes earlier and the sex simply helped trigger an outbreak? Even if you did experience prodome in the first 48 hours, which seems possible I guess, the OP is talking about onset in the first 24. That would be radically atypical, not just a bit fast/early. Like how would the virus even get to the nerve in the base of his spine and then back again to start triggering prodome in a single day? That would be wild. That said, I'm not  healthcare professional or an expert, just someone who reads about this. 

Also, if I were him, I'd listen to my healthcare professional and not people, like me, on an internet forum. I'd also get tested and practice safe sex with my wife until I could get tested 12 weeks after my last exposure, but that's a wise move regardless of the symptoms given that he's had sex with other people of late. 

[alllgood]

On 1/7/2019 at 7:27 AM, Ishmael said:

Was your transmission a one off or from someone that you had sex with more than the one time? Studies have shown that the incubation timeline of the virus is at least 48 hours, and the literature seems very firm on this. So the question becomes are you a statistical anomaly or did you experience what are very commonplace symptoms from something else that happened to segue with your primary outbreak and could have helped exacerbate it. Or possibly you contracted herpes earlier and the sex simply helped trigger an outbreak? Even if you did experience prodome in the first 48 hours, which seems possible I guess, the OP is talking about onset in the first 24. That would be radically atypical, not just a bit fast/early. Like how would the virus even get to the nerve in the base of his spine and then back again to start triggering prodome in a single day? That would be wild. That said, I'm not  healthcare professional or an expert, just someone who reads about this. 

Also, if I were him, I'd listen to my healthcare professional and not people, like me, on an internet forum. I'd also get tested and practice safe sex with my wife until I could get tested 12 weeks after my last exposure, but that's a wise move regardless of the symptoms given that he's had sex with other people of late. 

I completely agree, which is why I didn't believe i had it until I got tested. I also was just posting my experience, wasn't telling him to not listen to a doctor. But I actually contracted it during a one night stand and I don't believe to have had it before since I got tested specifically for it multiple times within that year or so and nothing like this occurred. Thanks for your input from the research you've done, very interesting.