Cwgrl100

I have noticed probiotics have been helping me for 1. I also think foreplay and consciously making yourself relax is extremely helpful 2. As for lubricant, we’ve had luck with Astroglide!

No I don’t think you are. I would’ve taken it the way you did. It’s a hard one..he has every right to be concerned for his health but I also think he should’ve said it in a better way. Maybe you should tell him that you respect his want to not contract HSV but that the way he went about it made you feel less than. Just be straight up! My boyfriend says, “I’m worth the risk” but I also think that’s dumb in some ways..lol. I do appreciate it very much. This doesn’t mean you need to have someone who feels that way; I think you just need to tell him the way he went about it made you feel like a, b, and c. If his reaction is crappy and defensive, well then you have a whole other issue of him being insensitive and that may be a red flag!

For me: -Sex that is too rough or dry; I have to prepare in advance (lube, foreplay, etc) -Deep stress (like my dog is missing right now and it literally came on the morning after I found out) -Tight jeans or underwear that isn’t laying right and rubs wrong. Those are mine! Probiotics have seemed to really help me. Look at the other post/thread about it.

I’ve been taking Culturelle Women’s Healthy Balance since the OP posted it and I don’t know if it’s a coincidence, but I’ve only had one real outbreak due to stress (my little dog/family member is missing). The irritation I experienced often has really calmed down and is barely existent, and my outbreaks I got 7/10 after sex have now decreased to 2/10. I’m not on Valtrex either. I don’t want to jinx it but I think probiotics are so helpful!

Thank you for the advice! I’ll pick some up tomorrow and give it a try

Take. Things. Slow. I wouldn’t say that I had casual sex after being diagnosed, but I did go on some dates that led to steamy makeout sessions, more dates, or nada. I really weeded out who was worth telling and who wasn’t. Going on dates was fun, but I made sure for it to go only as far as making out. If and when I felt like it was getting close to fooling around, I would usually have a few drinks (May or may not be a good idea for you) and I would just tell them I needed to talk to them about something. I gave them a little background to what led up to my diagnosis and then gave them statistics to look out on one of those printouts. I kept it in my night stand; sexy right?? Lol. It ended up fine for me, just lots of questions. Then we’d usually proceed to whatever step or sometimes we’d just make out. It went well for me but I also really tried to read people and see if they were worth it. On the flip side, I may’ve disclosed a time or two just to practice in the beginning. Moral of the story? One, I’m sure the above makes me seem like I’m a floozy but most of the time I only made out with these people or fooled around, or maybe just liked free meals and a fun evening with someone new! Two, use this as a tool to gauge who is worth it or not. Three, please use protection. Selfishly enough, you’re more prone to contracting other things so protect yourself! You ARE normal and like the one poster; you don’t need casual sex to be normal!

I agree with the last poster. Pretty sure the person who gave it to me had no clue they had it so as much as I hate their guts (mainly for other reasons), I realize that I too, didn’t know I had HSV for at least a month or so, so I can see how others don’t. I felt like I had “paper cuts”from what I thought was rough sex. Never did I imagine it was anything more. Talking to him may give you closure, but I wouldn’t bet on it. It may make it worse so just be careful and know you don’t need his apology! It’s pathetic that sex Ed and society’s perceptions make it seem that only certain people get these diseases and that it’s rare. Communicable diseases don’t discriminate and if you’ve ever had sex, even just once and even with protection, you can get herpes! I’m an educated, hardworking independent woman who tried doing everything right and got a little too carried away and trusting for a time in my life and it bit me in the ass. Had it not though? Maybe I would have something worse, be in a bad situation, and not be where I’m at today. I’m sorry you’re dealing with all of this. I know it’s tough. Some days I’m fine, others I’m not. If society didn’t make it this big, shameful secret I think transmission rates would go down as it could be openly talked about, those who are effected by the disease wouldn’t be emotionally damaged, and there would be better access to care and treatment!! Some positives to this for me: I felt empowered when I’ve disclosed and it forced me to slow down instead of getting caught up in the moment, I weeded out the people I didn’t trust to disclose to, it really made me feel less judge-mental and extended my heart out to people and whatever crap they’re going through! Hang in there!

I really don’t know what sister would do something like that!? I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine my sister/best friend doing that to me. I’d confront her and think about ridding your life of toxic people, unless she shows remorse and it was an accident and not done maliciously. As for the others, don’t let them shake you. When you face them, you can either lie about it and save that conversation or if you’re confronted you can say, and your point is?? Most of our population has it and my body isn’t any of your business! And think about your relationship as well. If you think you’re staying with him for those reasons, realize that you deserve happiness and you’ll still be able to find it. Good luck with everything and hugs!

I’ll add more as I feel like my post portrayed only the negative side of my feelings!! I was diagnosed about 2.5 years ago and sometime the first year or so, I began not thinking about it as much. It gets better with time really. I still have down moments, as posted above, but I also realize that people have terminal illnesses, have accidents that leave them physically incompatible with daily life, etc etc. I’ve also realized that when you get down to it, it really is a virus affecting the nervous system, that flares up in mucous membranes, which happens to be the genitals. How’s it’s transmitted takes center stage. I really try to count my blessings every day and I have a man that loves me for me, is patient when I have OBs, and I have friends that have been supportive, etc. While I don’t feel lucky to have this, I’ve always been a fighter and a go-getter, and it almost gives me an edge. I’ve felt empowered disclosing in the past and educating those that are ignorant, as once was I. Some days are rough; some moments my brain plays tricks on me, but it doesn’t define me!!

I feel the same way! It’s really hard. Some days I’m fine physically and mentally, and other days I’m not. I’m a go-getter as it is but sometimes I feel like I am pushing so much more to be successful because I’m trying to over-compensate for this thing that makes me feel damaged. I think I’m somewhat pretty, unique, educated, hardworking, kind, and I want to remember these things more than I do. I feel like I don’t want to be touched sometimes by my awesome, understanding spouse and I hate that for him because it’s really really not his fault. I just feel “turned off” more than on. Other than the occasional symptoms, way worse when I’m stressed, I really think that if this disease wasn’t stigmatized I wouldn’t feel so bad about myself!

Sorry for the late response!! The bottle doesn’t say it but when I looked it up, it says “Aurobindo Pharma”. I’ll attach a link with the picture. It’s done well for me surprisingly; that and Mylan! https://www.drugs.com/imprints/f-8-3-16182.html

SAME!

What makes you think you have HIV? Did you have a test?

That’s a hard one. It depends on the circumstances honestly. All’s you can do is give him space and let him know that you’re sorry. Recognize you were in the wrong because you took his choice in the matter away, but that you accept full responsibility and you let the moment and your intense feelings for him get the best of you. Let him know you understand that he’s upset and that you’ll be there to talk whenever he’s ready. When he’s ready, give him the facts of how low transmission is if you’re using protection or on suppressive therapy, etc. Hope that’s a little helpful. Hugs!!

So so happy for you!! I went through the same deal. Some days I hate it but it led me to taking things slow with the wonderful man I’m with! He accepted what I had and said I was worth the risk; he didn’t care. And now two years later and hints of an engagement ring, we’re still going strong 😁 What simplex do you have? Very interested in the therapies you’re speaking of. Do tell more!