I was alone.

[Jennyjen]

So I found out that I contracted herpes about 5 years ago. I had got it from my ex fiance. He was the first person I had slept with so I knew I had gotten it from him. 5 years and I can still remember the morning I woke up with blisters down there. The emotional toll it still has on me. I have my moments where I feel disgusting and gross. Why would anybody want to be with me, when there is so much better out there? I have then left my fiance and met an amazing guy. He accepts me and my herpes. I am the most careful person because I know how it feels so I would never want to give it to somebody else. But every now and then I get scared. What if he leaves me? Will there be somebody else who will accept me as me. Of course there will. But I'll have to get through those people who wont accept me. That's the scary part. There will be people who will just see herpes and not see me. I try not to let this control my life and not get me down but it does every now and then. But I keep myself up by telling myself that it's not my fault. That it's just a little thing that I have to deal with. 

[Michgirl73]

7 hours ago, Jennyjen said:

So I found out that I contracted herpes about 5 years ago. I had got it from my ex fiance. He was the first person I had slept with so I knew I had gotten it from him. 5 years and I can still remember the morning I woke up with blisters down there. The emotional toll it still has on me. I have my moments where I feel disgusting and gross. Why would anybody want to be with me, when there is so much better out there? I have then left my fiance and met an amazing guy. He accepts me and my herpes. I am the most careful person because I know how it feels so I would never want to give it to somebody else. But every now and then I get scared. What if he leaves me? Will there be somebody else who will accept me as me. Of course there will. But I'll have to get through those people who wont accept me. That's the scary part. There will be people who will just see herpes and not see me. I try not to let this control my life and not get me down but it does every now and then. But I keep myself up by telling myself that it's not my fault. That it's just a little thing that I have to deal with. 

Thank you and I feel the same. I’m starting to date and scared as hell when I have to disclose. But like u said I wouldn’t want put anyone through this without them knowing first. I hope I can find that special person one day.

[Bambina3]

It’s scary because of the stigma the pharmaceutical companies labeled it with.  It may be uncomfortable but it’s not deadly.  Trust me, I was in your shoes so scared to disclose, I let it define me, until I finally came to peace with it (had 1 and 2 approx 30 years)...those that know and stay are worth far more than those that leave...you Deserve the best and the right person will accept you for YOU.