2 years in...update

[annalove]

 I just passed my two year anniversary of my HSV diagnosis.  I can’t believe another year has gone by. 

Ive used this site less and less over the two years. Not because I don’t find it helpful, but because as time goes on my HSV weighs on my mind less and less. To those new to this is does get better, if you let it. Work on accepting your new circumstances and try to recognize it changes nothing about you. For me it also helped to put herpes in perspective and compare it to other possible circumstances. Or ask myself if I could never travel again but I got rid of my herpes, would I take that trade? For me the answer was usually no. It showed me that the things I enjoy and value in life are still there and still important. Herpes isn’t a reason to stop living. 

Early on I was blessed with counseling and it helped immensely. I have sought and received wisdom and advise from many people on here who have been going through this way longer than myself. If you’re struggling reach out to other members. Respond to their posts. If you wonder about something in particular, how someone overcame disclosure or a rejection, it doesn’t hurt to reach out.  

One thing I will admit is I still have my good and bad days. Just the other day I had a wonderful disclosure to a guy on tinder through message. He asked a bunch of questions, seemed very open minded, thanked me for my honesty, even asked if I was interested in a casual situation. When I answered I would be if we met and there was chemistry, he unmatched me. Do I know why he unmatched me for sure? No. Do I think my disclosure played a big part. Totally. Did it hurt my feelings and plunge me back into that sad, lonely, self stigmatized place for a couple days? It did. But its a work in progress. 

All I can say to those of you struggling is that things can get better if you make the effort to work on it. Herpes does not make you a leper. People will still want to sleep with you. 

Im still figuring some of this stuff out myself. And possibly always will be. But I can say without a doubt herpes has taught me I am FAR stronger than I ever imagined.

[Fmals]

Thank you for checking back in and giving us newbies an update. Your post is very hopeful. 😊 

Have you noticed a difference in your ob’s over the past two years? Aside from the stigma I’m so paranoid constantly about ob’s...when will they happen/will it be worse than the one before/etc...

[annalove]

@Fmals of course! I find it’s important for my journey to continue to post even if it’s not as frequent. Happy to help as much as I can! 

To be honest I’ve never had a stereotypical outbreak. I’ve read a lot of stores about painful initial outbreaks, luckily I haven’t dealt with that. I didn’t even notice anything was off other than a small cut and was diagnosed by swab from that. I’m not in a relationship and don’t have a steady sexual partner so I’m also choosing to not take any sort of daily medication. Every couple of months I would say I get a small sore, it’s pretty regular still for me. But I take medication for a few days and it goes away. Causes very very minimal discomfort. I do hope over the years I’ll see a decrease with maybe only one or two tiny sores a year. But as for right now the pop up every now and then isn’t a huge deal as I’m not sexually active super often and I’ve made the choice I don’t want any more medication in my body than is absolutely necessary. 

[Fmals]

@annalove Your situation sounds a lot like mine...ob’s sound the same too...do you have to call your doctor every time you need meds or do you have a standing script? I’ve yet to use any medication...

[Michgirl73]

16 hours ago, annalove said:

@Fmals of course! I find it’s important for my journey to continue to post even if it’s not as frequent. Happy to help as much as I can! 

To be honest I’ve never had a stereotypical outbreak. I’ve read a lot of stores about painful initial outbreaks, luckily I haven’t dealt with that. I didn’t even notice anything was off other than a small cut and was diagnosed by swab from that. I’m not in a relationship and don’t have a steady sexual partner so I’m also choosing to not take any sort of daily medication. Every couple of months I would say I get a small sore, it’s pretty regular still for me. But I take medication for a few days and it goes away. Causes very very minimal discomfort. I do hope over the years I’ll see a decrease with maybe only one or two tiny sores a year. But as for right now the pop up every now and then isn’t a huge deal as I’m not sexually active super often and I’ve made the choice I don’t want any more medication in my body than is absolutely necessary. 

Thanks for the update! I’m almost a year in and have been very scared to get involved with someone sexually because of the disclosure and trying to deal with emotionally and move forward. Some days are good and done are bad.. I have accepted this but hope that I can still have a future with someone after this as well.

[annalove]

@Michgirl73 I totally get it. Disclosing isn’t easy but for me the first few were the scariest and it gets easier and easier every time. I tend to disclose over text if it’s someone I’m only interested in casually. I’ve disclosed in person as well...that was much more difficult emotionally and mentally. But again a wonderful learning and growing opportunity. Feel free to let me know if you have any questions! 

@Fmals I have a standing prescription. I keep some on hand in case I want to use it and also I’m case I meet someone I’m interested in and want to start taking it in preparation for having sex. To each their own though