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Disclosed... Didn’t Work Out. & It’s Okay To Talk About.

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Well, I really liked this guy. Probably the most amazing & genuine connection I’ve ever experienced in my life. One of those fairy tale, cliche types of feels for this boy.

i knew having the talk with him was going to be hard. He was the first person that I wanted to date since being diagnosed so it was terrifying. He made the process so easy. Told me that it didn’t change the way he felt towards me and that he still really really liked me. Score. I thought the hardest part was over.

I think it was, but maybe i’m just being a little dramatic with my feelings here but, now i’m hurt. A week goes by and his feelings change; his worried about it and what it’ll do to his body. Totally fair and understandable. But he wants to think about it more. I lose it. Cause I can’t sit around and wait for someone to decide my worth if they have already decided in their head they’re veering in the other direction. 

So I cried. A lot. In front of him. At home in bed. And driving to work the next day. It really sucks. But ultimately, I hope I become a stronger and more amazing person by doing the right thing. Just can’t see it now but hey, it’ll be okay. We’ll all be okay eventually. Sometimes it’s just harder.

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On 6/17/2019 at 7:24 AM, Runbikeski2019 said:

Do you have an update on this?

Im wondering if he just needed some time to process??

FYI- I’m in a very similar situation and I’m very proud of you for disclosing. You are more than a status!

Thank you! I appreciate that!!

Unfortunately my update still is the same in the fact that he does not want to pursue a relationship. The feelings and chemistry are still there, 100% (since I make the best decisions, this guy is a work acquaintance so I still have to see him pretty frequently, and I still get butterflies seeing him). 

He has had a long time to process everything, and has chosen himself in this situation, and I’m trying to learn that I can’t blame him; but also trying to remember that it is ultimately his loss because I could have made him so so happy. 

I still feel like I cling to some sort of hope- that maybe he’ll change his mind or come around. I think that with this sort of situation, the other person definitely has a right to be worried and consider all things possible before jumping into something. But I kind of had to put a time limit on how long I’d be willing to wait and see if that would happen. Who knows, it could still happen? But I might be in a totally different mindset at that point.

but currently, I am still very sad. I can’t lie about that. It’s hard when you become so vulnerable and trusting towards someone and then lose that. Through it all though, I’ve learned lots of valuable lessons and will always (try to, sometimes it’s hard!) remember my worth no matter how anyone makes me feel.

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On 6/18/2019 at 3:13 PM, KittyTX said:

I'm also curious about any updates on this one. It sounds exactly like what just happened to me.

I’m so sorry. It’s a really crappy thing to have to go through, really. Just remember how wonderful you are and push through, it’s all we can do. things tend to fall apart so better things can come together, I believe that entirely! Maybe he was getting me ready for Mr. Right! 

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On 7/13/2019 at 1:35 PM, TaintedLove said:

@glassovy  I’m like you right now I disclosed and now I feel like he has rejected me. He told me that he didn’t have a problem with and he still wanted to be with me but he’s acting different. He was very much in shock tho.  I feel so awful. I just wish he would have kept it real. 

So I had that happen to me right after I disclosed too. It was normal, a little hesitation from him in the beginning, but I still felt sad cause I could feel him distancing himself a little. 

It is a really sad feeling cause you almost can’t help to feel like it’s your fault. That you screwed up the relationship. That’s how I felt. And I tried my best to be positive and let him have his time to think about things, and research, because it is their right, but honestly if the way he’s acting is something that isn’t changing after a little while, it may make you two resent each other. If I can offer any advice, I would say not to push it or ask if he’s okay or bring it up too much in the beginning. Try not to focus on the differences in his actions, unless of course it’s harming you mentally or physically. Try to enjoy his company and the relationship without stressing or straining about the situation and see if that helps. After a few weeks, if it’s still the same and he still seems disconnected, maybe revisit the topic and see if he has any issues. Because after disclosing, for me, I felt like with this guy, if it had ever worked out, it would have been such a strained relationship and it would have been unenjoyable. I imagined that with him, he would always be paranoid and worried about everything if we did try to have a romantic relationship, with sex, and that’s not how a relationship should be. It would just lead to resentment from both ends, I feel, so definitely give him a chance to get it together but know your boundaries. You’re beautiful for disclosing, cause I’ve been on both sides before. It’s not an easy thing. 

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