Iwillbeok

Yaaaay! So happy for you! I am gonna have my first date this weekend since breaking up with my giver and if it goes well I know my disclosure story will be following after a few dates. This gives me hope... thank you for sharing!

Wow. This was exactly what I was looking to read tonight. I find myself recently single from my giver and so so scared to date a “regular” guy again. I stayed with my giver longer than I would have if i had not acquired H2, but in the end I was so unhappy that I had to break it off. SO, I went on a dating site and am chatting with this guys that is SO me! And he keeps asking when we can meet and I’m scared. I’m scared that when I tell him he’s gonna reject me. I know, I know, he would be rejecting the H not ME, but I’m still scared. Your post gives me hope. I keep rehearsing out loud possible scenarios.... UGH.

@sweetlove884 @Ishmael thank you guys for your comments. Right now I’m telling people the story of the break up and they’re all saying “get back on the saddle, you’ll meet someone quickly” and I just whisper to myself “but i have H ... who’s gonna want me?” I KNOW, that is silly talk, but it’s like the diagnosis just happened all over again. I’m doing the self love thing hard right now. Therapist, gym, spa, church, shopping.... what ever makes me feel good. I just wish I had live people I could talk to. I need to find an in person support group l, so I can see real people. I know I WILL be ok (like my user name) but right now it’s pity party of 1....

I was doing pretty well. Accepting H2 and it not affecting my life other than the occasional mental beating. It’s been 9 months and I’ve only had 1 1/2 outbreaks... yes, 1/2... I think I stopped it in its tracks when I popped the Valtrex. I just broke up with my giver.... it happened 6 months into our almost 1 1/2 yr relationship and he said he didn’t know he had it. I was unsure about our fate at the time and I think when H happened I clinged for dear life. In the end I wasn’t happy in the relationship. I joined one of those special sites yesterday to check out the crowd. First there was NO ONE anywhere near me. And so few even in my state... and forgive me, but no one I would be Interested in... where are all the normal, attractive, successful people with H? I deactivated it because it made me feel so alone. Now I feel like that’s it. I’m gonna be single forever because I can’t imagine having “that talk” with anyone. Dating was hard enough before and now the pool just got smaller. Damn..... I was doing so well....

If you have antibodies to it then you have it and you do have to worry about transmission. 80% of the people who do have HSV 2 are asymptomatic. This is how it gets passed along so frequently. My giver didn’t have any symptoms and was unaware he had it because the CDC doesn’t Recommend testing during routine std testing. Were you given your value and the type of test? You only want an IGG test and anything under a value of 3 can be a false positive. If you really want confirmation you can get a western blot.

@lifegoesonn You make a good point. If I heard bumps I probably would thought folliculitis then maybe warts before H.. because H is usually blisters. My OB didnt look like real blisters. It looked like small flat pustules.

Today I found myself in a conversation where someone was saying their friend went to the ER cuz she thought she had a yeast infection but saw bumps too. And this person jokingly said to her friend ohhh you must have herpes... the other person in the room was like ohhhh did she ? No, she didn’t.. and while I wasn’t offend I just felt bad. I wondered if I ever made a “joke” like that and some one was sitting there with their secret. I’m only a few weeks into this diagnosis and I still can’t believe that I have this. I’m doing better than I thought I would be because I do find my self still laughing, sleeping and having an appetite; although not a great one. I still remind myself of all the goals I have for myself and know they are no less attainable. I don’t cry everyday, but today I feel a little bit more down maybe because I’m just sick in general right now. Yesterday I was just mad. A few days ago I came across a post on here in which the member suggested this book by Brene Brenner called “I thought it was just me but it’s not” it’s about shame and I’ve been listening in my car or with my headset and it has made some really useful points. I’ve also gone back to my therapist and he really gives me hope that this will not always be so tough. That’s one of the things that scares me most. More so than having H is my mental health. I won’t let this consume me fully. I have too much to do and see, but right now it’s hard to focus on much else. This is brand new and I am allowing myself to feel the emotions. To cry, to be mad... to grieve. As long as I am taking steps toward recovering from the trama I am allowed this time. I get scared when I read about people who are years into their diagnosis and still feel lost. I don’t want to be there. I am always the person who “fixes” everyone’s problems and now I need to fix this. Hell maybe if I paid more attention in biology I could have cured it, but alas no. It was not my strong suit. So, I must fix myself. My mindset and reaction toward this overly stigmatized punch line disease. Part of me wants to just do a face book live and put it out there for all of my friends and be like “yeah, i thought it wouldn’t happen to a girl like me either, but here we are and I don’t fit the image we all thought went with the scarlet H”..... but then I snap back and realize oh no... no no no.... we are sooo not there yet. I have been humbled. And to anyone who sat at the table with this as I threw down my cards of humanity round winning card that read “herpes” I am sorry for ever making your sorrow a punch line. Thanks for reading.

@happyman_adventurous! ^^

If it were only that easy! I did whip out my CCnut oil and have been using it on my bits after my shower. In my head I’m thinking (hoping) it would prevent a OB ..who knows... what ever makes me feel better while I come to terms with this.

Good move!!

@trying2accept my blood was negative 12 days before my OB then dr retested this week (3 weeks later) and it came up very positive. She said some ppl will get their antibodies really quickly because of my immune response and other could take up to the 3-4 mnts mark. I asked her if i could have been carrying and just tested negative twice between the 7 months and she said no way. This is new.

@mytanya... oh noooo... that’s horrible. Like another betrayal. If you have insurance look into therapy. It will help. Maybe not right away, but it will.

“To be honest, I'm back to neing more concerned with being able to run, climb, and lift weights when I'm 60 than what I'm going to say to myself about herpes while I'm 30.” BINGO. THATS WHERE I NEED TO BE. @regularguy

Maybe a soak in a bath with epsom salt? Coconut oil maybe?

@username @mstanya I’m with you, username. I caledl my therapist that I used to use when something big happened years ago right away. He got me in and it was such a help. I walked in with no appetite and when i left I went food shopping and made a kick ass sandwich. @mstanya, have you confided in any friends or family? You need a “safe person” someone you trust completely to remind you that you are still the same person.

@mstanya1234 oh ok... so positive on both seems like it’s accurate then. If you’re really curious you could get the western blot. I think you have to hunt down a facility that can do it for you once you order it. I’ve read it’s like 200 bucks. But that’s the gold standard I think it’s 98-100% in accuracy. And you’re right- WE ARE STILL ALIVE. I asked my BF how he’s so calm about this and isn’t in panic mode and he just said because THIS isn’t gonna be the hardest thing we face in life. Another friend said to me he once had a dr tell him if you make it out of this life with just H then you had a good life. All easier said than done, right? We gotta believe this. With each person I walk past who is clearly sick or disabled I just think.. at least it’s not that. I bet they would trade with me in a heart beat.

@mstanya1234 Anything under 0.9 is negative. Anything above is “considered positive, although if you’re in the lower range around a 3.0 (I think, I don’t know the exact numbers off hand) it could be a false positive. With mine being in the 6. Range that’s a clear positive diagnosis.. I was hoping my culture was mistyped, but alas.... no. I did some retail therapy today to “cheer” myself up...

@leo I was negative three weeks ago at my annual exam as I have been the last several years since I started asking for that add on. 11 days later I got symptoms, but I’m wondering if those “ingrown hair things” a cpl of weeks earlier were part of the OB cuz it was the same spot. A week later I had a positive culture for H2. 4 days later (yesterday) I tested blood IGG and today it came back positive in the 6.?? Range. So my gyno said this is a primary infection and my immune system reacted quickly giving me the positive reading. Some ppl will come up positive in the 3-4 weeks others take 3-4 months.

@mstanya1234 no, I won’t do daily suppressants.... unless it got really bad. I just had one OB and it was very mild for a primary2, SO I’m hopeful that it remains that way. My DR told me it is so important for me to keep my immune system up. So VIT C, lysine helps too because too much arginine can be a trigger. I also take folic acid. She gave the ok to get a wax too and said that really should not be a trigger. She just called with yesterday’s blood IGG and now it’s positive (it was negative three weeks ago).... no more hoping the swab was wrong. #deepbreath ....wow.

@mytanya. Saw my GYN today and she mentioned Lysine (which I do use already for cold sores) and I mentioned reading about Manuka Honey And she raved about all the benefits . It’s not cheap though and has to have a 10+ rating. It can be used in your food/tea and can be used topically for OBs because of it’s antiviral/ antibacterial properties. Not a cure, but I like natural remedies.

@starlover - what type were you diagnosed with by swab and did you have an IGG blood test to confirm this? It sounds like type1.... which if your hubs test + for type 1 even if he’s never had a cold sore believe it or not it could be from him giving you oral.

@scared1011 I’m in a similar situation. Positive swab for H2 but mine was small and in one spot. Negative blood from my annual two weeks prior. Been with my partner 7 months now, was negative right before I met him and that was 3.5 months after my last partner. I have always tested negative for H2. I’m seeing my own Dr today to discuss this and when to retest. I read some older articles last night about people who just test negative over and over. Not sure if that’s just older test, but now I’m like OMG what if IM just a carrier?! BF needs to get his blood work for H, his last work up didn’t include it (go figure)...

I’m also seeing my own GYN today since the oncall Dr is the one who took my sample. I have a long standing relationship with her and need her to guide me. I do trust her so much.

@regularguy. You my friend are great with expressing yourself. Thank you for the words of encouragment. I know In my heart i am still the same. I can still get married and have a child (time is running out there cuz of my age), but my Bf (who still needs to confirm in his blood work) still wants those things with me. I can still have the house and the dog and the successful career. How long did it take for you to feel “normal” again? It’s kinda hard typing on here from my phone. Sorry for any typos and spelling mistakes. Haha..

@mstanya I will report back after I see that naturopath Dr.