Ashley

I joined this forum back in October, and since then I have spent countless hours on the periphery, eaves dropping on your conversations. Selfishly, I have gained knowledge and inspiration from everything you have to say, but have given little in return. This is largely due to the fact that I have never been the loudest person in the room. I am a listener rather than a sharer, however, I have come to realize that this may be the very thing that has slowed my healing process. Today I am ready to step out of my comfort zone, however timidly, and share my story with all of you, because today I feel that my words are worth listening to. So here is

The high caliber of women in this community inspires me everyday. You are no exception. The strength in your words is apparent. I have learned so much from this post alone. Thank you for sharing your story.

I often read that people with HSV are at higher risk of contracting HIV. I don't really understand what this means. Can anyone explain?

I was diagnosed back in July and had a similar experience with the guy I had been with. Honestly, just forget about him. You did the right thing in confronting him. You could have taken your anger out on him but you didn't. You were the bigger person in the situation. Good for you :) As for what you're going through emotionally... It sucks. I can relate. When I first found out I sunk into a deep depression. I thought I would never date anyone ever again. I actually started telling myself that I'd just have to learn to live life on my own. Four months later, I have to say, things have gotten a lot better. Obviously I'm still learning to accept it but the truth is, I hardly even remember that I have it most days. I haven't tried dating yet, but that's because I realized I want to be ok with myself before I'm ok with someone else. I'm kind of going with the "one day at a time" mentality. Our society tends to push forward thinking but most of the time it just causes unnecessary anxiety. I know this all sounds so preachy but I hope you don't take it that way. I'm not one of those eternal optimists, so please don't take this as a bunch of BS. I just want you to know that you will have bad days. A lot at first. But I can say that even a couple months later, the bad days become fewer and fewer. P.S. I have a friend who also has HSV II. She used to pride herself on being "a girl about town." She prefers casual sex to long-term relationships. As far as I know she has disclosed to several people and so far no one has rejected her. Just be smart about it and things will work out. This doesn't have to change who you are.

That's an interesting question. I've been wondering if gender has anything to do with acceptance. I'd like to hear what some of the males have to say as well.

First off, let me say that I think bringing this topic to light is an amazing thing and I appreciate very much what you are doing. However, I am a bit concerned. The film is called "Party Favors", which to me, automatically perpetuates a key stereotype that I think needs to be broken. In my experience, many believe herpes is a disease reserved for those who live the party lifestyle- going out, drinking, drugs, promiscuity, etc. I haven't read the script, so I don't know for certain, but the title, at first glance, seems to add fuel to the fire. I'm not the type to step on anyones toes, and as I said, I think making this film is very important, however, I am worried it may perpetuate the stigma attached to herpes.