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Kacey

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Kacey last won the day on October 7 2019

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  1. I agree with you. I believe some people would choose contracting Covid over herpes because of ignorance. The media contributes to the high stigmatization of HSV. I was speaking to a friend who is unaware of my diagnosis. She said she would commit suicide if she contracted herpes. However , if it was covid she would strengthen her immune system. I am not sure if the world is considering other forms of virus muchless to highlight that they can be easily be contracted like Covid. The media has not shed any light on other forms of virus in a positive light and I doubt they ever will. It's only us with herpes hoping that the recent Covid situation will lessen stigmatization.
  2. So recently I decided to take my medications and eat healthy and date for fun. I have both HSV 1 abd HSV 2 and I am recovering from a narcissistic relationship where I was raped by my ex predator who took my virginity. He was a very cruel guy. Anyway, I was dating for fun just to boost ego and still feel pretty and atttactive without any plans to have sexual intercourse with anyone. I have met a friend who practices celibacy and decided to do the same. If celibacy didn't work for me , i had plan to invest in sex toys and please my damn self and love myself. One the guys i dated was so kind , so loving so understanding of my trauma story except i didnt tell him I had dire consequences. I experienced two tramautic situation whivh lead me to have a brief psychosis and almost lost my mind due to the traumas. So we are having a really good relationship but no sex. I kept putting sex off because i wanted to disclose but didnt know how. In my culture, HSV 1 orally is very normal. No big deal but when its genital its a big thing....One day he invited me over and I was going to disclose until he turned me on and we started kissing. I had no sores to my knowledge. Havent had outbreak since first and thats almost 2 years ago and now i feel i might be asymptomatic. We tried sex but i couldnt lubricate enought because i was traumatised from rape plus i feel like its deceptful not diclosing and so sex was very painful. Anyway he started kissing me all over. In prior discussions, we said to each other that we dont like oral sex and that ots against out beliefs.... so i didnt expect him to kiss me and then surprisingly kiss my clit and it felt so good since it was me first . He didnt even ask he surprised me... so even though i wasnt into oral sex i had to do it back. PENETRATION WAS WITH CONDOMN. Weeks past and i felt good that yes my virus was dormant until 3 weeks in he had a terrible rash all over his forehead with pus and i am wondering if it is the herpes. I am going to let us both get tested because i thought i was careful but if its its hsv i will never forgive myself.
  3. A lot of people will say I am a bitch for saying this but i am over being positive and searching for love. Kudos to people who found love with HSV. Some of us will never be thay lucky. The truth is even women who are beautiful and STD free cant find Love. My advice may be harsh and cruel to some but this is my opinion... I stopped having an OCD about herpes. I take my meds and i take my vitamins and practice safe sex but i dont disclose anymore. 1- 6 people have this damn virus that just cause stupid bumps and rash like eczema and acne and other skin disease. Kmt. Its just the stigma attached that makes it looks awful. Tired of playing good emotional soft women disclosing and breaking my heart when i disclose. I am going out there practicing safe sex with condom and i told them half truth that i was a victim of rape and i know i dont have hiv but there might be others so safe sex please. When U disclose, some men expose you... damage ur reputation and make yoh look like R.Kelly. I was a virgin when i contracted this from a predator and i dont think i should let stigmatization hold me back.
  4. You are welcome dear. I haven't seen my gynae in a long while. You know what really helps. Exercising, managjng stress through a coping skill, eating lots of fruits and veges, taking vitamin c, herpes meds and probiotics. You can also take multivitamins. Oh yes DRINK A WHOLE LOT OF WATER. SLEEP WELL. Focus on Goals...Honestly once i have started doing this overtime i havent had an outbreak. Initially those steps were taken to show myself that i am still going to take "care of me" and "love me" despite herpes. Turns out it had lot more benefits. Note: I do have relapses from time to time. I will cry or vent on the forum. So I started seeing a pyschologist to help me with the mental "symptoms" that comes with hsv but physically i am fine.
  5. I agree with you. I think this support group has helped me alot. May I add that i was once negative too but overtime i started gaining confidence.
  6. Honestly for me, I am not ashamed when guy's say they dont date people with herpes because before i contracted it I was one of them who feared STDS. Remember it is highly stigmatized. Spend some time becoming more knowledgeable about the illness and NEVER disclose too early. Stay positive but be smart as well.
  7. That's just not true about your dating life coming to an end because if herpes
  8. I told my psychologist that i joined an online support group for herpes. I told her how much i liked it and listed the benefits. However she said , sometimes online support groups cause one to be more depressed or anxious because of others strong opinions. Especially if you already suffering mentally because of this illness. She shared a powerful article too. Read this everyone: "How herpes became the sexual boogeyman" She also said. The illness itself is not what most people fear but it's the stigma attached to it that has caused the fear shame and guilt. For those who struggle with disclosure: She also said we should find courage in our vulnerability. I asked another psychiatrist why people do those evil things? (this is specifically who were victims of sexual predators like myself. The guy purposely gave it to me. ) Her response was that its human nature to be selfish and sometimes other people are battling their own demons. It's just sad that they drag innocent people in their own battles. She also said (this is the most important part) ‼you never know what people are capable of doing as such it's your responsibility to protect yourself against the unseen. ‼
  9. I have huge problem. Before contracting herpes when i shave or was i use to get terible ingrows and itching when the hair was growing back. Now after ciontracting herpes , i didny shave for a year. Now after i shave recently, the bumps arent like the pripr ingrowns but rather small. My vagina is very itchy and red bunps come where the hair follicle is. Its not fill with pus. Could shaving trigger OB?
  10. I wrote my story in an article(anonymously) of how my ex who was a sexual predator will8ng transferred the virus to me without my consent even though he knew i was a virgin. This incidebt triggered an mental illness trait that is genetically predisposed. I have learnt that my ex is still with his next victim but the way i see it, she doesnt care that he willingly gave her the virus. I recieved alot of sympathy and even follow up replies that people are keeping me in their prayers. Ofc, there were backlash and others ridiculed my situation. I honestly wish my ex will get serious punishment in life. I tell myself everyday that i will kill him. A rapist and predator deserves to die. ( please do not call the cyber unit lol) Even though i am not as pretty as I was before, i have gained alot of belly fat and acne prone face after the herpes and also mental illness trigger.Nonetheless I am still attractive plus I have hip and big booty , so naturally I attract alot of men. So far i have been flirting with all the men i meet, going out on dates, knowing i have no intention to be with most of them. It's as if i am using them to feel good about myself sexually. Ever since my diagnosis , i have learnt aloooot , from reading redflags to adding tax to my worth. I am not applying this knowledge fully to my life though. Anyway, there is this one guy that stood out. I honestly want to be with this guy but i dont want to give him herpes nor do i want to disclose but that would make me a predator like my ex , seeing its highly contagious. He hardly ever mention my physical attributes, he is more focused on my personality and personal development and he always surprise me with gifts. Take me out on dates and is still patiently waiting on me but i feel like to leave him alone. This is third good guy i am giving up because i have herpes. Sigh, i just keep flirting with some other guys that i already flagged but as i said earlier i am afraid to have sex with a next man. My first experience in relationship ruined me. Should I tell him or leave him to be? I wish there was a cure. I deserve a second chance, my second chance would allow me to choose better men.
  11. I dont want have a victim mentality mindset but i really wonder why i couldnt have been the lucky few that caught a curable STD, even syphillis is better than herpes. Herpes cant be cured and you have to deal with annnoying outbreaks plus stigma. I wonder how people with HIV/AIDS keep up. I dont want to be negative nancy but lets face it, Its sad. I was a freaking virgin when i caught the STD and now i have to let all the good men pass me by. Fantasising about a cure for herpes, meeting a man that loves me despite herpes and also meeting my standards, having to worry if my vagina still look sexually appealimg or smells good if i do choose to have sex again. I honestly feel like going out there and hurting guys the same way i was hurt especially the ones who act as if they are walking on gold diamond or glass.... i have given up, not going to give anyone the choice to be with me, i am going to have sex,hide my condtion and take my meds. I sound like a bitch but i really want a boy friend, i cant deal.with the sexual fustration.its getting to me. I am sad. I was all positive about herpes but it was only cover i put but truly deep down inside,I AM HURT
  12. How do you know when you have asymptomatic shedding? What is it like? What is this tingy feeling yall talk about? I only get bumps once in a good while. I wonder if its herpes bumps or just regular vaginal pimples. I have never experienced an outbreak like my first. There were two instances where i had two tough lumps on my vagina. I was wondering if it was herpes or hpv. Sigh. Someone explain please the symptoms and how to recognize an outbreak or shedding.
  13. You know that where i live hsv1 is not a big problem people call it night fever because even babies have it. They dont call it herpes when its oral even though it is but the genital herpes you will get slashed for.
  14. DONT DO IT. Thats a terrible idea. Screen this man properly first
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