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Kacey

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Kacey last won the day on October 7

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  1. I wrote my story in an article(anonymously) of how my ex who was a sexual predator will8ng transferred the virus to me without my consent even though he knew i was a virgin. This incidebt triggered an mental illness trait that is genetically predisposed. I have learnt that my ex is still with his next victim but the way i see it, she doesnt care that he willingly gave her the virus. I recieved alot of sympathy and even follow up replies that people are keeping me in their prayers. Ofc, there were backlash and others ridiculed my situation. I honestly wish my ex will get serious punishment in life. I tell myself everyday that i will kill him. A rapist and predator deserves to die. ( please do not call the cyber unit lol) Even though i am not as pretty as I was before, i have gained alot of belly fat and acne prone face after the herpes and also mental illness trigger.Nonetheless I am still attractive plus I have hip and big booty , so naturally I attract alot of men. So far i have been flirting with all the men i meet, going out on dates, knowing i have no intention to be with most of them. It's as if i am using them to feel good about myself sexually. Ever since my diagnosis , i have learnt aloooot , from reading redflags to adding tax to my worth. I am not applying this knowledge fully to my life though. Anyway, there is this one guy that stood out. I honestly want to be with this guy but i dont want to give him herpes nor do i want to disclose but that would make me a predator like my ex , seeing its highly contagious. He hardly ever mention my physical attributes, he is more focused on my personality and personal development and he always surprise me with gifts. Take me out on dates and is still patiently waiting on me but i feel like to leave him alone. This is third good guy i am giving up because i have herpes. Sigh, i just keep flirting with some other guys that i already flagged but as i said earlier i am afraid to have sex with a next man. My first experience in relationship ruined me. Should I tell him or leave him to be? I wish there was a cure. I deserve a second chance, my second chance would allow me to choose better men.
  2. I dont want have a victim mentality mindset but i really wonder why i couldnt have been the lucky few that caught a curable STD, even syphillis is better than herpes. Herpes cant be cured and you have to deal with annnoying outbreaks plus stigma. I wonder how people with HIV/AIDS keep up. I dont want to be negative nancy but lets face it, Its sad. I was a freaking virgin when i caught the STD and now i have to let all the good men pass me by. Fantasising about a cure for herpes, meeting a man that loves me despite herpes and also meeting my standards, having to worry if my vagina still look sexually appealimg or smells good if i do choose to have sex again. I honestly feel like going out there and hurting guys the same way i was hurt especially the ones who act as if they are walking on gold diamond or glass.... i have given up, not going to give anyone the choice to be with me, i am going to have sex,hide my condtion and take my meds. I sound like a bitch but i really want a boy friend, i cant deal.with the sexual fustration.its getting to me. I am sad. I was all positive about herpes but it was only cover i put but truly deep down inside,I AM HURT
  3. How do you know when you have asymptomatic shedding? What is it like? What is this tingy feeling yall talk about? I only get bumps once in a good while. I wonder if its herpes bumps or just regular vaginal pimples. I have never experienced an outbreak like my first. There were two instances where i had two tough lumps on my vagina. I was wondering if it was herpes or hpv. Sigh. Someone explain please the symptoms and how to recognize an outbreak or shedding.
  4. You know that where i live hsv1 is not a big problem people call it night fever because even babies have it. They dont call it herpes when its oral even though it is but the genital herpes you will get slashed for.
  5. DONT DO IT. Thats a terrible idea. Screen this man properly first
  6. Wow. I would suggest that you try to adopt a new lifestyle. This includes eating healthy, more vegetables and taking vitamin supplements. Try to exercise daily and limit stress and depression. The stringer the immune system, the bettet. When I feel depress or stress , I start watching motivational videos, movies and i have developed a routine that keeps me busy. It Helps me to not focus too much on my status. If you want sexual release, there is always masturbation ( thats if you dont have a problem doing it).
  7. We all make mistakes , its just unfortunate that some mistakes have permanent consequences but the moment you start accepting it, the better. You are probably srressing so the outbreaks are frequent
  8. We are so similiar. Hi. I am only meds for depression as a result from schizophreniform. I had nightmares too and i had suicidal ideations as well but i had to think about how my family would feel if i killed myself. I realised also that alot of persons have herpes. Alot of people have type 1 though. I get antidepressants too but i dont get outbreaks. Havent had an outbreak since my first. The suicidal thoughts will go away after a while. Just try to remain positive , i know its hard but still try. You can inbox me. Currently I dont feel suicidal but i feel numb. I believe we can help each other.
  9. Thank you. Best advice. Like him, I was a virgin too but my partner knowingly passed it on to me without telling me. I tried explaining that to him but he refused to listen. He said it can be controlled and there is always condoms. He worked at an STD clinic before. I feel he is desperate to be in a relationship and I am desperate for someone to accept me. It is my fear of lonliness and never having anyone to accept me. I live in a society STDs are highly stigmatised. The other day guy told me without disclosing my status that he would stay away from a female with Herpes and HIV and he is my friend before I contracted the virus. I decided not to disclose. Its hard , people believe you have to have been promiscuous to have herpes or you are just nasty. There are times when I have a positive outlook and believe there is still hope and there are times when i am in a depressive state. The negative comments of others usually triggers it. R.Kelly copy cat ruined my selfesteem. Sigh.😭
  10. So i am currently thinking about daying this virgin. He is willong to accept me. He is final tear medical student but he is not physically attractive in my eyes. He needa to work on his sex appeal.Everything is great as it relates to personality and I will still settle with him. I just really hope that with time, i might be able to accept him,the way he did for me.
  11. Have you had sex since you found out? I am afraid to do it.
  12. Please excuse my poor grammar and expression . Rule number 1: Love yourself unconditonally Have a positive attitude Educate yourself fully about the disease. You will better be able to share it with others. Share it in away that it takes prejudice people have in their mind. Learn to not fear rejection and judgement because its human nature hun and even before you had herpes I am sure you have experienced being criticised or judged wrongfully or rejected. Do you know the importance of dating? You are getting to know someone to see if you are compatible for an intimate relationship. Let the person get to know your interpersonal qualities ( if thats the right term to use) thats the most important thing first. Less than 10 dates is not enough to get physical. I know you miss sex and all but this is a sensitive situation. It takes time. After person falls inlove with your personailty then you inform them of the herpes. If accepted . Yay!! If rejected. Yay!! If the person cannot accept you, they never saw your worth in the first place. Move on. You already love yourself so a little rejection isnt going to discourage you. You know whats funny, some them have it and dont know OR answer this question , before you had herpes , would you have accepted someone with the illness?( RETORICAL) If they are nice person but they are not willing to accept. You should be able to understand.
  13. Successful people works towards the betterment of themselves and they also help others. They see a problem and they work towards solving that problem. The fact that you are here , the fact that you are seeking help and /or supporting others make you a sucess hun. Continue working towards making yourself a better version of who you were yesterday and never give up. Never quit.
  14. Remember You are not your illness!! Love your body and Treat your body right.🤸‍♀️ Don't let the stigma attached to herpes define you sis. You are beautiful ,you are strong, you are invincible. 💃 You matter!!! Aint nobody gonna love you like you love yourself.So love yourself unconditionally. ❤
  15. Sure no problem. Its feels good to have friend who truly knows what it feels like. We can surely help each other😊
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