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simplyme24

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Everything posted by simplyme24

  1. Thanks! i will ask about that jelly stuff...I haven't heard about it but I am willing to try anything! Great advice on the nuts (I did not know about) I have only been taking Valtrex when I get an OB, but started taking it more frequent when my bf came around which is why I think it is not going away as quickly now. Thanks again!
  2. Hey Everyone, I am having yet another OB...2nd one in the last few months due to stress..this one is worse than the last though. The last one only lasted like a day after I took the medicine...this one is spreading and not going away. Its bad enough to remind me of my initial OB...having flashbacks! I am sitting here feeling "down" as I wish I didn't have to deal with this extreme pain every time I am stressed because that's a lot! I can barely walk. And even though my boyfriend accepts it, I still feel "ugly" and unsexy when I talk about it. Even though I do talk to him about it, and he seems ok to talk about it, I still feel uneasy and weird. I guess I just needed to vent! and it'd be nice to know what relieves the pain!?!?
  3. I am glad you can have a "bounce back"! Never give up! That is one thing I have learned. Herpes def helped me weed out the bad from the good....and I couldnt be happier right now. Your guy is out there...just have confidence in who you are as a person and never give up!
  4. Thanks! Very helpful! I have another question...if he goes down on me and then kisses me...can it be spread to my mouth?
  5. Sooo happy to hear it @victoriaxxx! He sounds like one of the few people who don't let the stigma get to them. Hope you two the best!! Xx
  6. I just got the results back from my gyno about the type of Herpes I have...I have genital HSV1 which I sort of already knew because my initial outbreak was horrid but I get few outbreaks. But I know type 1 is less likely to spread with genital contact, but what about oral contact? Since HSV1 likes its "home" to initially be on the mouth area, what if someone gives me oral sex? What are their chances of getting oral HSV1?
  7. Thanks everyone! Your support means so much! It is the most amazing feeling to find someone who accepts you once you feel like everyone is rejecting you. You also are able to appreciate that person so much more for not caring about the "stigma" and caring about the person you are. I hope everyone finds their someone! @bellam never give up :) look at it as H saving you from potential disasters! I am so glad that first guy rejected me because I was able to find someone sooo much better! Best of luck!! Xx
  8. Hey! I just recently posted a discussion last week titled "my success story" that relates to this. I think you should read it! Would be beneficial to you ..I would post the link but I am on my phone and not by a computer. But basically I went to online dating and I did get rejected from the first guy I thought I could potentially date which actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise because I met my current boyfriend online who accepts everything about me and is one of the kindest people I have ever met. So, even if you do get rejected, look to it as herpes actually saving you! And I think online dating is a good idea because it allows that person to get to know you...without any pressure of thinking you have to disclose right away. Hope this helped! Xx
  9. Hello Everyone! Many of you may know me from previous posts, and some of you may not. I am here to tell of a recent blessing and successful disclosure that recently happened in my life that I am sure everyone can benefit from hearing, It is a story of never giving up, always believing, having faith, and a perception is everything. Several months ago, I broke up with my on/off again boyfriend of 3 years. I was left to face "herpes" all by myself. I did not know what to do. My boyfriend had been my "safe place" for long. Maybe a month later, I started talking to this guy. A few weeks after talking, he was talking about coming to Chicago for Christmas, which was in about a month (he was in the Navy.) So, naturally, I was thinking "I have to tell this guy." Our conversation flew great, we Skyped a lot and texted a whole lot. Well, one day, the conversation of STDs came up. Initially, I lied and said I did not have any...I was caught off guard and did not know what to say. That whole week I knew I had to tell him...my heart was pounding, I was crying, and going into complete disaster mode. I did not want to be rejected. For some reason, the topic came up again, so that was my window to disclose. I came out and told him. He asked a ton of questions. I gave him the time he needed and answered them all. He seemed ok for a couple weeks, and then all of a sudden I noticed he was "off." I told him that if he could not take the risk then don't and he said that "it was too great a risk." I was devastated. I cried a whole lot. I wanted to call my Ex and say take me back! You are the only one who has ever and will ever accept me! I thought I was doomed to be alone forever. Not to mention that when I tried to tell my dad not to long after that...he scolded me, so I was an utter mess. Well, I decided I was not going to give up. If one person could accept me, someone else HAS to. I went to Online dating again...done it a few times....and started talking to this one guy. The conversation flowed excellently. We talked day and night..texting...then eventually phone calls started. I really felt comfortable telling him everything and anything. He had made plans to come to my state...since he lived in a state 6 to 8 hrs away. I proceeded to tell him "I have something that I think is important for you to know but I think I should wait to tell you until you get to know me better." He said that nothing I told him was going to change his opinion of me. This made me feel at ease, but I still had doubts. I really wanted to wait until he got here to tell him in person (we would have been talking for about 3 full weeks) but he asked me a question that led the window right opened. He asked me "If you could be a spokes woman for anything that you are passionate about, what would it be?" I said "STDS" He said "That's interesting. Why?" I go "I know a lot of people with STDs and I have had a few. Would you date anyone with an STD?" He said "Actually I would." So I proceeded to say "Well Actually I have an STD. Would you like to know which one?" Then I said "I have Genital Herpes." And proceeded to tell him how long I have had it, and he went on to say "It does not change my opinion of you. It is what you have. It does not change who you are." After that, he came out here to see me...we had an EXCELLENT weekend. We even had sex, protected of course, and all throughout he just made me feel so good telling me how sexy I was and how good looking I was and he even at one point said he "liked my vagina." hahaha and now we are "official." He's an amazing guy and I never would have found him if I would have let my first disclosure get me down and define me as "unworthy of love." SOOOO if that isn't a HUGE turnaround I do not know what is!!! And I believe I should share this because I know that there are a lot of people out there thinking that they will never find anyone to accept them....as I thought..and probably still would be thinking if I didn't go out there and try again! We cannot sit around and let herpes define us...but teach us things about ourselves instead. Teach us bravery. Courage. Strength. Patience. Compassion. We are all beautiful. We are all worthy. We are all deserving of love. It will happen. Just have faith and never give up! :)
  10. So to give the background scoop: I have been trying to get back into dating, so I went on online dating because its so hard to meet anyone decent nowadays. I met thiss guy and we hit it off....the conversation flowed. He lives in Iowa and is coming to indiana to see me. I have already told him that I have "something important to tell him" but I want to "wait until we know each other better." He said that was fine but he will just be all sorts of curious. He goes on all the time how he's been looking for someone like me, I make him really happy, and he's not going to walk away from me...that he will be understanding no matter what and blah blah. Well, I feel really bad with him spending all this money to come see me and he doesn't know what he's getting into...the fact that I have herpes. And so many times I just want to tell him before he even comes out here, but at the same time, he hasn't really gotten to know me. So, last night we were talking on the phone, and he was talking about doing clinicals in the hospital. He told of a story where this 15 or 16 year old came in with her parents because she had gonnorhea. He said "you see crazy shit in there." I went completely silent. I didn't know what to say. If he thinks that Gonnorhea is crazy then what will he think of herpes!? Prior to that convo, I was feeling really good about disclosing to him, but now I am terrified. Especially since my last disclosure didn't go well and then the discussion with my dad didn't go well. I feel so angry because my EX was with me for 3 years and never got it so he can move on and be with anyone. I am left here all alone...I feel like my dating life is doomed. When do I tell him? How do I tell him? What do I say if it gets to the point where we both get "in the mood" ...what do I say to stop the situation without looking obvious (if I haven't disclosed yet). How do I say "I have herpes" without it being negative, esp if I am sure that he will be a lot turned off by it!? I'm scared that he will no longer want me as much as he does now. Right now, he makes me feel so beautiful and sexy. Throw herpes in and I'm back to that "doomed" and "worthless" feeling. I really don't know what to do or how to handle the situation. ANY advice would be GREATLY appreciated. Thank you for reading! Your Herpes Friend.
  11. You can never have too many friends! If anyone needs a great person to talk...I am always available! Via text, call, Skype whatever!
  12. Breathtakingly amazing video. Made me cry. Thanks for sharing :)
  13. @sadgirl... I am not sure of all of what you have tried...but i am on valtrex and use the zovirax cream. they both help me tremendously. XX
  14. First off, Happy New Years! I would not go on the trip with this guy. But that's just me. Esp if he says he doesn't want a commmittment. Obviously he would be just using you? Take if from someone who has been used for sex and didn't even realize it. And maybe he has something. Who knows. Idk. It sounds fishy that he wants to go on this trip but no committment. No bueno girly.
  15. No. I didn't have oral outbreaks. Just genital. And all he did was look down there and diagnose me because it was so bad since the first idiot doctor I went to said he didn't see anything so it ended up spreading really bad llike in 2 days. And whether to save money or what not, if I requested one then don't tell me there's no need. If someone comes in for an STD test would they say theres no need? Probably not.
  16. Okay...so as my story continues to get better on this forum....(sarcasm there)... I will start by saying I am absolutely beside myself at how dumb doctors and nurses are! No offense to anyone out there. But seriously, I was diagnosed back in July 2012, in which I had gotten a blood test for HIV. I thought I had also gotten one for herpes too, guess not. Apparently my doctor diagnosed me just by the look down below because when I called today to ask if I had HSV 1 or 2, just to be sure, the nurse informed me that my chart showed no such blood test and so I requested that I wanted one done if I didnt have one. She said she would talk to the doctor and get back to me. She called me back and said "the doctor said there is no need for a blood test. you were diagnosed with severe genital herpes back in july 2012. herpes 2 is genitally and 1 is orally." WTF!? where did she go to school? And I didnt want to argue with my doctors nurse so then she asks "why do u want it? are you having problems?" Well thats none of her business.. I need so I know what info to tell when telling partners and she said either one is highly transmittable. Okay..this nurse for 1. does not know what she is talking about and for 2. made me feel even worse before calling her. she sounded totally rude just saying "severe genital herpes"...made me feel dirty..idk..and how are you going to deny me a blood test!? Like I am going to my Gyno at the end of January anyways so I will just ask her for a blood test I thought/should have had almost 2 yrs ago, but seriously... I feel like the more I bring it up the more it becomes an issue. I was ok with it until I disclosed recently and got rejected. Tried to tell my dad and got practically yelled at. And tried to call the doctor/nurse about it who were complete idiots. Ugh .
  17. @thisisgoingtobeokay I am so sorry you had that experience. I guess we all wish for the fairy tale ending in things but it never works out that way. "Wish for the best, expect the worst" I always say. And its not like its even self pity, its more like life just sucks right now and when life sucks, people have the right to be sad or pissed. And people dont understand who dont have it. Its just like any other situation in life. No one really knows how you feel but you. Its easy to say go out there and find someone accepting who will date you...not so easy to do. I am here to support you through your journey :) and thanks for your response
  18. Thanks to both of you. "You are daddys girl. Daddys girl doesn't have sex." I guess this is the root of it all. I had forgotten about that key fact that may be apart of the reason for him acting that way but it still would help to have the support. I do know people who have caught it while using protection as well so that's a good point to bring up. "I need his support. Not his lectures. Ive done a good enough job beating myself up." That should be my opening line! You guys have given me some good tips that I will use the next time I approach him. Ill keep you updated! Thanks! Hope you had a Merry Christmas! :)
  19. So as I am sitting on the train i n my way home...I was reflecting on my conversation with my Dad. Or lack thereof. ..last night. My Dad has never been the emotional...hug I love you type. So even though I have had herpes for almost 2 yrs and my mom and sister know as wel as so many of my friends...I've always been scared to tell him. And its not like I'm some delinquent in life. I have made great accomplishments. So I was feeling good and trying to be vulnerable with him because he always says I can tell him anything and never do. Well....i was actually ok with having herpes until last night. Or atleast getting there. Before I even got a word out.... (and before this I had told him how I felt like no one would want me so you'd think he'd have empathy)...he said yea you haven't told me because you know ill scold you. I told you to use protection. And the regret of not wearing protection has been the hardest on me and that just came back at me like a pile of bricks. And now feeling like absolute shit again I feel the need to vent. Like if my dad wont even accept me what other man will? Ugh. I know my dad will love me no matter what but you can't talk to him for anything. Blahhh. #need to vent #Merry Xmas Eve!
  20. Thank you for the kind words HV! They mean so much as we have been traveling down a journey together! You are so gorgeous inside and out and I know we will be long time friends from this! We all thought we were "invincible" with the aspect of "that'll never happen to me. But the fact is that it did happen! It doesnt make us who we are or limit us. It is just a stupid skin condition that only WE know we have. I know you are a strong woman and I know you will get thrrough all the anxiety. Remember...god never takes you to things he will not pull you through :)
  21. "We perceive our secrets as darker and more shameful than anyone can ever know...and if they were to find out, they would suddenly somehow no longer mean the nice things they said about our outfit that day or our job performance or our personality" ....and doesnt that just take the words right out of my mouth?! "we accept the love we thing we deserve"....so true! i love that. because we cannot truly expect someone else to love us if we do not love ourselves first. and so many times i have stayed in rotten relationships because i thought i owed them something. "this guy stayed with me knowing i have herpes and took the risk, so i owe it to him to stay"...big mistake! i love the support that this post received because it goes to show that I am not alone in thinking this way. Thanks guys!
  22. @ashaelizbeth thank you for taking the time to read and respond! #appreciated @orngpeelmafia you make excellent points. Like I always blame herpes for being the reason I'm not good enough or the reason I'm unhappy. I probably hate my body or the fact that I cnt have kids or that my feet r too big....more...herpes pullss all that into the opened..."tell youyourself that compliment in your head a few times" I will have to remember to do that! I think that will be a very good starting exercise for me. Thanks! @wscdancer2010 I tend to self depracate a lot. "There are so many better girls out there. Why would anyone want me when they can hv some one without herpes and can have kids and lives on their own" the list goes on. I'm definitely taking.on how to love myself. Thanks for the support and advice! @hopefulvictoria I know how you feel because the guy that gave it to me I am pretty sure knew and just never said anything. I am thankful it is just a skin condition but I wish others saw it that way. And you make an excellent point! I am proud of myself for being able to go on this site....some ppl that i kno have it won't even talk about it let alone go on this site! Thank you for the support! I greatly appreciate everyone taking the time to read and respond! It means a lot :)
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