simplyme24

Why is it that the more compliments I receive from people the more I think about my herpes and how I feel I messed up my entire life?? Everytime someone says I'm pretty or have a lot going for me....all I can think of is herpes and how I feel I messed up my life because of it. I never feel that wat until someone pays me a compliment. Its like I have a love/hate relationship with my herpes. Some days I feel real good. Like its a blessing and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. And then other days...I feel all hope is lost. I know these are probably just my insecurities coming out way before I had herpes but H def makes me see them more. You would think I would feel good about myself after a compliment. But I don't. All I think about is all the mistakes I have made and how it led me to herpes. I know I am great at giving support/advice, but for some reason, when it comes to myself, I am my own worse enemy.

Your words are extremely extremely kind....thanks. much appreciated :) I never thought of myself as helping anyone and thats all I really want to do so that makes me extremely happy to be able to do so. Posting my picture is def part of the process I guess of this is me. Take me as I am Kinda deal and the fact that this is such a supportive community helps. And you will probably be there before you know it. I mean...look at the progress you have made in the past few days :) I wish you the best as well in your journey and will be here for your support whenever you shall need it :)

Its funny just how minor herpes is when u have a scare for something muuuuch worse. CONGRATULATIONS to you! Googling symptoms can b the worse sometimes lol...it'll say you are dying when really you just have a cold lol. I am so happy that you do not have to worry anymore and perhaps this happened to you for a reason so you can live with H in a much more positive way :) Doctors test for other things when you have herpes bc your body can be much more exposed to them. Again....Yay for good news! Have a glass of wine for me !!! :)

@hopefulvictoria it is standard procedure. When my doctor found out I had herpes...he made me test for HIV too. He made me test for it every couple of months...talk about nerve wrecking! I was as scared as u bc I was so scared to have HIV. Herpes seems minor now that I think about it O_o

This is something I truly needed to hear...as I was riding the train to work....alone with my thoughts and having one of those days...thinking "will my ex be the only one who will ever have accepted me?" "Was I lucky to have him?" "Should I have stayed?" And reading this made me remember that ppl come into our lives for a reason...no matter how long or short their time. "Especially the crazy ones that leave you like you got hit by a bus"...could not explain my feelings any better right now! love It!

Btw...I only take medicine when I feel an OB coming on now ...to be more clear per my last post

I personally LOVE valtrex. I think its one of the best things invented! (Hah) it works like magic for me. My first outbreaks were so bad that I had tons in and out that were split opened (sorry for description) and had them for two weeks. I took valtrex after being prescribed and started clearing up in two days. Now when I get a break out...it goes away in a day. Its amazing IMO :)

Ok thanks! I was reading some of the forums from Adrials links and mine seemed similar to some with HSV1 so that's why I thought that. I thought I could try to skip another doc call lol..thanks again

So since I do not have any breakouts..maybe once a year that I have found are mainly due to stress. ..does that mean I have genital Hsv1 and would that also mean someone with Hsv1 of the mouth would have had to give it to me??

I have been trying to do research on the difference between genital HSV1 and HSV2 but am still confused. Can someone please explain the main differences to me?? Thanks!

Hello there! And welcome! :) First, do you know how many awesome qualities you just listed about yourself???? Herpes is only a deal breaker if that is how you SEE it. I got my first ob a year and half ago. And yes, the first ob is definitely the worst!!! Yours doesn't seem as bad as mine was. I was broken all n over (maybe let it go too long) and it was spreading to my rear and hurting soooo bad. Ouch! Needless so say, your outbreaks depend on you really. Your immune system. ..stress. I know i got my second ob a year after my first due to stress but with Valtrex went away within no time! And no pain! But some people break out much more frequently. I disclosed for the first time a few weeks ago. You have to be confident. Tell him you care for him and trust him. Do your research so you are prepared for his questions. Throw numbers out there like you know 80% don't even know they have it or its related to the chicken pox family and cold sore family really. Or is just an annoyance really. Hah whatever you feel is better for him to know. HES GOING TO REACT HOW YOU THINK HE WILL. I got rejected. But you know what. I was expecting it. I was expecting negatively so that probably came across in me disclosing. Herpes is an eye opener for me. Lets me see who wants me for me and not just for a fling. It weeds out the good hearted people from the bad. And there are plenty of success stories where people are accepted for herpes and find love. Those people are out there. So never get discouraged and if you do...just come back here...we are all here for you :) XoXo

I'm sure a lot...of not most...get depressed durinv am outbreak. It really lays all those insecurities out there. But thank goodness for Valtrex! That stuff literally works like magic. Hah. They make my outbreaks go away within a day. So its really not too bad. I just look at it like having a cold. Ok so when I have a ruuny nose and am sick in bed, I take Sudafed and am all good. Its like the same thing. But I know mine mainly are due to stress so I can relate to you on that one! #here for you XOXO Always

I'd love to have you as my H Buddy! We are pretty close in age...I'm 24. I got herpes a year and a half ago, so just as I turned 23. Trust me. You are NOT alone. A lot of people have herpes, but many are afraid to talk about it. If interested in Changing stories and chatting let me know! We can exchange emails :)

I think we all have a little in common. Its weird reading your heart felt storie and seeing how much I can relate. I was In a toxic relationship for almost three years...the past year and a half I stayed pretty much for one purpose...and that was because he accepted my herpes and I didn't want to have to face it. I didn't want to be alone with it. I didn't like myself before herpes, so being alone WITH herpes absolutely terrified me. The point came where we had to break up. And I was left with "what do I do now?" I have never neen alone and I had had pushed herpes aside for so long. I thought "whose going to want me now?" Time came to disclose to a potential new partner and my anxiety rose like no other. I took xanax and surprised I didn't have an o/b from the stress. A few weeks after he processes it, he rejected me. My whole world turned upside down. I was in a very very dark place for days. It was probably the lowest and ugliest I have felt. At that point I just wanted to go running back to my ex. But after going to one really good friend of mine and with a lot of support on this forum and reading the success stories, I know there is hope. I know I have to learn how to love myself...alone...no matter how long thw journey. Just like you...I am a successful, caring woman. Any man would be lucky to have me. Heck. I have a lot to offer :) and as Adrial put it best...which will always stick with me..."the only thing he dodged is the chance to get to know an amazing woman." :)

I remember when I first found out I had herpes. I was balling my eyes out in the doctor office and he was kind of just staring like ok. I are you done yet? And I didn't know why he was so calm. Hearing your experience puts mine into a better perspective lol. I'm glad you shared that.

I read some of the success stories. Truly inspirational. It kind of gives me hope. And something I read about herpes really enabling you to seek out the good guys from the bad, which you probably couldn't do before...stuck out to me. It gives hope that one day...once I have truly coped with the fact of having herpes...that I will find someone who won't see it as a deal-breaker. And I am finding that it is so much more common than a lot of people think. One thing you said stuck out.."Herpes might actually have you find the perfect person for you because herpes will force you to go deeper into yourself." I find that it has already done this on some aspects, as it has made me see life in a whole new perspective. It is funny how Herpes is really just an annoying skin condition, but the media gives it such a bad rep, that we perceive it in our minds as this awful, shameful thing. *Sigh

i am appreciating the support with dealing with rejection, You are all truly courageous people to disclose to so many people that you have Herpes. I know how truly brave I had to be when I did and how truly stronger I felt afterwards. I thought it was unfair for my guy to tease me in the way he did. To accept me at first, only to reject me weeks later. it has truly taken a toll on my self-esteem. Some days I do not even want to look in the mirror. I have not felt like that since I found out almost a year and half ago (which feels like an eternity). I am wondering if any of you had any positive reactions with disclosures? Of course my family and friends accept me, but outside of them...meaning potential partners?

I knew I had to disclose because it would have been utterly wrong and I couldn't live with myself doing to him what someone did to me....which was not tell me. And I knew I had to do it before anything got too involved. I guess its a normal reaction to feel like every guy will reject you after one does, but I just hope this doesn't scare me from future disclosures. O_o After I did disclose, however, it was like a 20 pound weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Hah. I'm glad there are amazing ppl out there like you helping ppl like me cope with this. I don't know what I would do without these forums. I guess at this point, referring to "loving yourself regardless of what you have," I am having trouble loving myself with herpes. I have all these regrets like I should have used a condom...big one! And I. Know someone won't love me unless I do. But how does someone go about loving something that they hate so much?

Thank you both for the comments. I have been trying to cope and tell this guy and he led the doorway wide opened for me to by keep asking me if I had anything. So I watch your Youtube videos a lot Adrial and I looked at the handouts about throwing numbers out there and saying how much you care and how much trust you have to have in a person to tell them. He was taken aback at first and then he asked a lot of questions, which I was ok with. Then he looked some stuff up. And seemed ok. I was sooo happy. Thought I had dodged a huge bullet. Well a couple of weeks later he tells me that he likes me as a person but cannot take the risk. I didn't know what to think. I feel like my ex is the only one who will ever have accepted me. I haven't felt this bad about having herpes since I got it. I really don't know what else to do as I don't have many friends and the onea I do have really do not understand. So I joined the HBuddy on here hoping that will help. The most awful thing to hear is "oh you would be a wonderful person if u didn't have herpes" When I did have a bf who was supportive of my herpes..I was with him when I found out...I didnt feel rejected. He even had unprotected sex with me to show me it didn't bother him. Now I can't even get someone to date me. This is awful. Sorry to blab but "this"...rejection and dating and whole disclosing factor is so new to me.

Hello Everybody! I am a 24 year old female from Hammond Indiana. I think this is an excellent idea, as it is always nice to have someone to talk to about things in your life that are hard to discuss. I got Herpes about a year and half ago. I have gone through all the phases of what it is like to have this. I was young and dumb, without a care in the world, with the "That will never happen to me" mentality. Next thing I know, boom, herpes. Lets face it. I thought/still think my dating life is over. As going through a break up and having recently had to tell someone else of my herpes and being rejected, I know all too well of the hurt and emotions that one can feel. I went from being with someone who accepted me and wanted me for me, to being rejected by people I really liked. It has taught me a lot about life. It has taught me how to be more compassionate and less to judge. "Look at a person as if you are blind, only then can you judge their true personality." I would like to offer my support to and need support from any male or female who lives in the United States. (It would be easier talking wise). I am willing to text, talk on the phone, on Skype, in person....whatever works. :) I am a great listenener and friend. If you pick me as your HBuddy you will gain someone who is truly a loving person with a great heart! :)

So I am new to these discussions but have been reading them for awhile. I guess I will tell a little about me and my situation. I found out I had herpes a year ago...last August. It was devasting for me. I remember crying real bad in the doctors office and throwing my glasses across the room. I thought my life was over. But I did research and they're so many people out there with herpes. Its more of an annoyance really. At the time, I had an on n off again boyfriend who was great about it. He said he didn't care about me having herpes and he loved me regardless. Well, that relationship hit rock bottom and I only stayed with him because of my herpes. I thought "whose gonna want me now? I have herpes AND can't have children. Ya I'm a real winner." We broke up not too long ago and now I actually have to face it. A month ago I met this guy. I really like him but we got into the discussion of STDs and asked me if I had any. I was caught off gaurd. I told him "no" and I asked if he would ever date someone with an STD and he said "no" so that made me sick to my stomach. I really like him. I do not want to chase him away and I can't bare the thought of doing to him what someone did to me....have sex and not tell me. But I really do not think I am brave enough to tell him that I have herpes. I can't expect him to stay around after that or even begin to understand. If I didn't have this, I would not date someone with herpes so how can I expect him to? But it lingers in the back of my mind that I should tell people. I'm just absolutely terrified of missing out on a good person or potential match because of a mistake in my past. And trust me...its not easy finding a decent guy. It makes me want to run back to my ex and makes me miss him so much becuase I feel like he is the only one who will accept me and still love me and make me feel beautiful. So lost. :/