bookworm21

So I thought that my outbreaks had settled down. I am HORRIBLE about taking medication, so I forgot to keep up with my Valtrex. My boyfriend has been doing Army stuff for two months now, so I really haven't had the need. Well I'm supposed to see him finally tomorrow. As of today I'm feeling a horrible burning pain in one certain spot. There's no actual bump yet, but I just know there will be. So I'm frustrated. After everything we've been going through I was looking for some quality time. I love that we can talk for hours, but I also like the other stuff too! Need a little encouragement, since life is out to get me. Between the Army and my outbreak I'm going to be sexually deprived FOREVER it feels. Ugh -.-

Klopz!! We missed you. I have been laying low too, with work, school, and a successful relationship of my own. I'm so glad that yours is working out!! So happy that you're happy!! :D :D

Welcome to the site! (Both of you) You'll find a lot of great support here. It's going to take a minute to get used to it. Just remember, while it seems like a huge deal and that your life is over (that's how I felt) It's really not! You will go on to lead a fantastically full life full of everything you want if you chose to. I spent a few years feeling ashamed, guilty, dirty, slutty, guilty, awful, and a whole bunch of other feelings. I was a mess. I let the feelings consume me. I didn't respect myself and that led to some other behaviors. I'm telling you this because you DON'T have to feel this way. Reaching out is the first step. Realizing that you have a slightly life altering skin condition is the next step. You have herpes. Most of the time, the word itself is worse than the actual disease. As for telling people, you don't need to unless you are going to be sexually active with them! I told my mom (she's a nurse) and eventually the rest of my close family and friends. Having their support is great. Most of the time everyone forgets. Unless there is a badly timed herpes joke then people kind of look at you to find out if it's ok to laugh. Which it is. You will want to laugh about it one day. You'll also have days you want to cry about it. That's ok too. Forgive yourself. You might not think that you are punishing yourself by holding on, but somewhere deep down you are. Then truly forgive your boyfriend. He didn't know he had it. He's about to go down this long journey as well. After forgiveness you can really move on. Sparklepony is right! Educate yourself. Read everything you can. Become so used to the terms they don't affect you anymore. We are always here to help! Message me if you need anything at all.

Thank you :) He really is a keeper. The more time we spend talking the more I know it. It's been hard because he's been doing military stuff, but I get to see him in person again soon! I'm so excited. He may be moving down to South Carolina soon, so that's stressful but if we are meant to be we are meant to be. I'm not letting myself stress over it! I do not need an outbreak right now on top of everything. :) Thank you for your kind words. You always know just what to say.

I talked to a few people close to me last night and a sexual assault nurse today. I also told Tyler. He said he wasn't mad at me (obviously because it was sexual assault). I still just feel numb. I've been through this before when I was 16 (I have really bad luck) so I know that's normal. I'm seeking counseling for it. I'm not on drugs recreationally, I was on pain killers for a sore shoulder. Just wanted to throw that out there! I'm doing better today.

I've been really depressed for a few weeks now. I'm not sure how to come out of it. I am still in a relationship with the guy I had a successful disclosure to, but he's in the military so he's been away. It's been so bad that I've barely slept and am just out of it all the time. About a week ago I had an issue where I put myself in a situation where I was taken advantage of. I don't see it as fully cheating, but I still feel guilty and horrible. How do I tell him? I have never cheated before and like I said, I was taken advantage of more than anything (it was a mix of my pain medication, lack of sleep, and severely depressed/upset emotional state). This guy and I didn't have sex. He got me to trust him, then waited until I was super relaxed (after crying about how my relationship was rocky and my life felt like it was going no where). Then he started touching me in ways I didn't want. Both with his mouth and hands. I stopped him, but it took me a minute to realize what was going on. I didn't even see that he took advantage of me until I talked it out with a friend. Help? Please. I feel so defeated.

I feel the same way. When I first started talking to my current boyfriend he would tell me how amazing he thought I was, and all I thought was "If only you knew". We have a long distance relationship so I decided to tell him the night we actually met in person. I was terrified. After being on here awhile I decided to try a new tactic. He is military so I went for the straight forward approach. Instead of crying and putting it out there like the worst thing in the world/my life was ruined (my normal approach); I told him the facts and how I was going to protect him against it if we moved forward. I still teared up a little but was very open and honest. We have been together almost two months now. We'll still talk about it every once in awhile if he thinks of a new question, but he's very accepting. If you put it to someone like a shameful, horrible disease, they automatically won't want it. Hope this helped! :)

Thank you for sharing :) Opening up to people who know what you are going through is a huge first step in really accepting and becoming ok with everything. I felt the same way after I found out. I had been lied to and now "my life was ruined". None of my friends knew the guy, but my cousin did. I have a feeling that she knew he was more than bad news, but she didn't try to stop anything. Her reasoning was that I was an adult. She and I don't talk very much anymore. I'm also in Ohio, so if you ever need to talk face to face we could probably make that happen. Keep your head up :)

I really enjoy the products. I've been spending so much money on them that I figured I should start selling them! The stress of trying to build a customer base is getting to me. I'm not sleeping much and because I'm already sick my immune system is down. I'm kind of expecting an outbreak to hit any time now.

I am an independent consultant with Perfectly Posh. I sell naturally based beauty products. I LOVE our stuff. I try to use natural stuff in life anyways, so this was just a logical step for me. Actually, I'm thinking that our "Healer" stick may work well with cold sores. I can't say for sure, but it's helped me with a lot of things. I'm currently using it on my face because I picked at a pimple and scarred it a little.

Hello! I was just wondering how everyone was doing? Things have been crazy lately here. I started Valtrex again, so I'm having a relatively quite time with my herpes. The boyfriend is at Army training for a few weeks, so that's no fun. We are still going strong though! We have been intimate, so this is looking more and more like a success story. I also have opened my own business through an amazing company and that has been keeping me busy. So things are good here. I am in a completely different and better place than I was when I first joined and it is all thanks to this site! :)

Take a deep breath. You need to forgive yourself first. You didn't know that it could be spread orally, and also didn't know that you were having an outbreak. Now that you know, you can make better decisions in the future and also tell other people! Ever since I accepted it I've been educating people as often as I can. He may be able to forgive you, but he really needs to work on accepting this himself. It's going to rough at times. He needs a friend that he can trust right now, and it seems like that's what you can be. So try to be his shoulder to lean on right now. In the mean time we are all here to talk to and support you!

First step is to breath! Everything will turn out ok. I promise :) You can try getting the blood test as well. If a bump is appearing I would go in and have that swabbed too. It's not the end of the world, even if it may seem so at first. Herpes tends to pop up for me when I am really stressed, or if I have been sick. We are all here to listen and help you as best we can. ((HUGS)) Bookworm

H can be really good about separating those people that "just want to hook up". I'm sure you are disappointed but keep your head up! There are many people out there who will accept everything about you. :)

Welcome to the site :) We are all so glad that you've joined us. People accept it all differently. It took me two years and quite a few bad "relationships" to accept it. Honestly, it took me getting another STD to really start accepting myself. There is no right or wrong way (though I would suggest working it out BEFORE you have more sexual relationships) I encourage you to read the posts on here. Really take the stories in and post! It will help. You can also private message me if you need to talk on a more personal level :) I am always glad to lend an ear. Bookworm.