Konfucious

So hello, I've been here briefly ghosting around here and there, especially a little over a year ago when I first found out I have herpes. HSV2. Here is my story for those of you in despair. I was there too. I was shattered, broken, felt dirty and the unluckiest woman ever. I was never promiscuous to "deserve" this. I questioned it every morning. Herpes was in my head day and night. I didn't dress up as my usual. I cried myself to sleep. I didn't eat. Everything was bitter. The only thing that kept me going was my 2 year old. Suicide crossed my mind, although I would have never done it. At the time, I was in a tremoltuos relationship with my son's dad (on and off for 4 years being the side woman-etc) I found out of my diagnosis and told him about it- he was very supportive and whatnot (he tested negative) and in my despair I wanted to make things work with him because I thought no one would ever love or want me with this. I ended up having the balls THANKS TO Herpes to finally cut all ties loose with him and be FREE. I was very lonely but even before herpes I hadn't met anyone that I truly was interested in. I joined the positive singles dating website a few months later not necessarily with the intention to date, but with hopes of talking to people in my situation and see faces ....the face of herpes. As any dating site, there were a few pervs here and there that would message me. Then a couple months after joining I received a message from a man with no profile picture. His message instantly drew me in. I liked him, even before knowing what he looked like. We messaged, proceeded to text, FaceTime and call. When I finally met him in person, a Radiant personality and a set of piercing ocean-blue eyes received me. The chemistry was instant. Time went by and then He informally proposed and we eloped a month ago. :) I can say I am more than happy and still shocked that I found the love of my life, who would have thought; on a dating site....a HERPES dating site. LOL I know deep down, if I didn't have herpes and I had met him in the street and he DID have it, I would have taken the risk for him. I feared that I would have to settle for anyone with herpes or anyone that would accept me with this, but Herpes brought me my dream man. With or without herpes, this man was the man for me all along. Sometimes we question why me, what did I do to deserve this? But we don't stop to speculate that there may be a bigger reason for things. We must learn to let go, and accept. Not just with herpes but all in all with life. Yes, I know. Some of you may think "it was easier for you to date because both of you have herpes." It is still not easy to find that fire bonding chemistry without herpes, I had never found this feeling in a "non-herpes" person before. That's because herpes doesn't define who we are. :) To those in despair, hold tight. Meet people, herpes or not. Don't hide yourselves. It is not easy, I KNOW. But it will all work out in the end. Please excuse my long book, but just wanted to share a little bit of the light at the end of OUR H-Tunnel. :)

Hi! Don't feel alone, I was in the same boat you are sailing a little over a year ago when my "nightmare" started. I was never promiscuous and as you were, I was on and off with my ex-my son's dad. And then briefly met someone else who gave me this lovely gift. :) I was in shambles questioning all you are questioning right now. I've had 3 outbreaks VERY mild and every time it's less mild. THANKFULLY. I eat regular, don't diet or anything extreme, but I am more conscious of my eating/life habits as I want to prevent any future outbreaks. Anyway, herpes helped me get rid of the bad things in my life and brought me better things. (never thought I'd say that a year ago) The dating scene with H is difficult, I can only imagine -I didn't have to thankfully (I will explain in a future post) but just keep in mind it's difficult because people and closed minded and therefore, ignorant. Hang in there. Pamper yourself even more now. Stress triggers outbreaks so relax, it is what it is now and we can't change it. We are not the only ones in this boat and we won't be the last ones either. Best of luck!

Thank you. Yes avoiding outbreaks and whatnot what is the percentage risk. My bf refuses for me to give him oral because he thinks I will get it orally (which we are both trying to avoid) but at the same time: How can a man be completely happy with no oral sex ever again? LOL @optimist

I've been gone for a Long Time but I am back with a question. I am a woman and was diagnosed with HSV2 (genital of course) and my boyfriend is G-HSV1+ . He's never had a cold sore (lips). If I give him oral sex can I contract HSV1 orally? Please enlighten me. Thanks so much!

So great to read this. I hope I soon run across a mature, understanding man like this. :/

Exactly! That's the same reaction I had! You can never tell...and it's such a big deal for me now that I'm in this position. How we can trust our most precious thing (our bodies) to people (even special close people) when in reality we never know what the other may have? I never thought about it until now....at least not to that level!

Thank you Dancer. We have spoken via private message before and i really appreciate your feedback. I don't suffer from symptoms thankfully as I mentioned, it's just been mentally draining. I'm a former model (small-time) and known very well in the Latino community. I hate looking at myself and thinking that I'm not desirable to any man anymore if they knew I have this :( I feel like my sexuality has been taken away... I don't want to dress attractively or draw any mans attention and ever since my diagnosis it seems men can't stay away ...!! What is going on? Lol Also today while I was on the phone with him, he brought up the convo that he hates condoms and that his aunt asked him "Arent you afraid to catch something?" And he responded to her.. "I don't sleep around with just anyone and I can kinda sense" I wish I could've just told him right then and there it could be Miss Universe you're sleeping with and she could have something. Ugh!!! Unfortunately one can never know...I'm hoping I will tell him after the New Year. Wish me luck! :(

Thank you both for responding. Since my diagnosis I've been digesting the whole thing. I thank God I don't suffer from symptoms at all, but I'm still trying to wrap my head around the stigma he will think of me. I dread him looking at me with disgust :( thank you ladies, I'm trying to stay positive!

Hi everyone... Needing some lifting words. I was diagnosed with HSV earlier this Nov. 2015. I'm not quite sure as to what type but my doctor said it was type 2 since I had it on my genitals. -_- (culture test) anyway, the point is I am H+. After 4 years of trying to fix things with my ex-on and off, and in between couple boyfriends. Things finally "ended" per say, I met a guy back in April (right during the days of my first outbreak-which furthermore when tested I was dismissed with an H- result and went on with my life) We became very good friends, and not until September it was that we finally became intimate (oral & vaginal sex) (hadn't before since he had a reputation of being a lady's man...I finally gave in to his blue eyes and masculine hands... After our sexual encounter, I just kind of distanced myself tired of him not taking our "thing" to a more serious level.(not looking to just date for the hell of it-prior and post H+ diagnosis). He kept calling/texting throughout the 2 months right before my confirmation of HSV in November which I successfully ignored. He finally came around stating that he was finally ready to settle down and wanted to be with me (even brought up marriage). The only problem is that now, I have this. And how to tell him? We are a comfort level of 100, and there's been several times he's tried to take things further in bed and I just stop him. I don't know how to tell him or when. Please help. It's eating me alive. I have to tell him so he knows his status since we had sex prior to my H+ confirmation. (I'm not majorly concerned of whether he wants to be with me or not but I just feel dishonest around him) I don't know what to do.

Sorry. No, I'm not on antivirals. My body does not like medicine (eventually became immune to fluconazole for recurrent yeast infections) so I rather just take the antivirals if there is an outbreak of I sense one coming. Is that a good idea?

It's not unbearable, it goes away and comes back randomly. No outbreaks or nothing thank God! And what is Lysine? Is it a vitamin? Thank you both for the response!

I was recently diagnosed with HSV. (Idk which type-but I've had symptoms genitally.) anyway, the sores are very minimal-no outbreaks really, which I'm thankful for. I've been experiencing burning sensations in my legs and now on the side of my back. I feel like that section is sunburned and is sensitive to touch. Anything I can eat/take to help with this? Also, does burning sensations infer the virus is active and I'm shedding? Thanks to all who can help....! :{

@2Legit2Quit Exactly how I feel, I don't want to isolate myself because it only adds to the depression. So far, I haven't had a bad case of outbreaks. Had it not been for this recent one I wouldn't have known 100% I am H+. I'm researched more and more on the virus and in reality it's something so small (I'm more concerned of how people view it-as you said, the stigma) than the actual virus. I'm also concerned of contaiging any future partner (or them running away after disclosing) we never know if contagied, how they're immune system will respond. Trying to hang in here, glad to read I'm not the only one feeling/that has felt the way I am feeling now. Thank you!

Brought tears to my eyes....recently diagnosed. I am very sexual person, not saying I go sleeping around but see sex as something beautiful especially when it's done with someone you love; its mágical. I did some modeling in my younger years and here in my small Latino community, I'm quite known and I have a sex appeal most men are attracted to. (Not being egotistical but pretty much) Now post H diagnosis, I'm having a hard time feeling sexy again, feeling beautiful. I feel like damaged goods. I wonder "Would that guy even ask for my number if he knew I have H?" I don't want to dress up and draw any man's attention. I am still recovering from a 4 year heartbreak-back and forth from my son's dad. Before H I tried meeting new men, dated a couple and the relationship ended (one cheated, the other one-I ended). Now, post H, I don't even want to bother even meeting anyone and having to tell them what I carry in my nerves... Beautiful to read and be reminded by a stranger of how beautiful we STILL are post H. Gracias.

You give me hope....I am not even 100% sure I'm H+ but I definitely want to prepare for the worst :( I don't know you, but I am truly happy for you.

Thank you so much for your reponse. I had a fear that when I posted this someone would confirm my doubts with these doctors I've been seen by aren't so reliable. Also, I did not mention that when I *assumed* everything was okay since I never got a call back regarding the results, I went back and resumed my sexual life with my sons dad. (I'm a woman btw) so when I finally opened my mail and discovered the positive test results I urged him to go get retested. (He went to get tested 3 days after I initially was visually diagnosed w/H at the ER. He went to get retested about 2 weeks ago and came back negative again. This is why I'm extremely confused and untrustworthy of my results. What type of blood test should I request to have done? Also, since my most probable exposure was in April is it too recent to get a blood test? •I'm confused as to how I got a positive antibody test 1 week after my potential exposure, (do antibodies show up that quickly?) •If I am H+ why is my sons dad not positive as well if he has had sex with me after my potential exposure? PS: my OBGYN did not provide any specifics as to what type of test he performed on me or numbers or type specific, he said it really was irrelevant since both can cause either genital or oral. Please shed some light based on your experience! I immensely appreciate your response!!!!

I'm in the same boat as you are... They did a serum(?) blood test on me and said that I had antibodies to the herpes virus, but thats about it. Doctor couldn't specify if it was Type 1 or 2. Doctor also stated that the virus could've potentially "just passed me" and that in very rare cases, the virus doesn't stay in the body... ! What?!?! Totally contradictory to all new info on herpes being for life... I don't know what to do or think.. :/ Best of luck to you! @lindsay200586

I meant to write (*exposure could've**** been more recent )

Hello to all, I am new in this site and looking for more than anything to just express myself. I was recently "diagnosed" with herpes. The doctors can't even emphasize if I have herpes 1 or 2, and honestly they couldn't actually verify I have herpes period. This is my story. Please hear me out, I'm desperate, overboard with stress and have even considered suicide. If I'm even on this site right now is because my only reason to live is my child. Back in April I felt discomfort in my vaginal area,I think it was on a Tuesday) I ignored it thinking it was a cut or something due to rough sex a couple nights before. The discomfort continued until I decided to take a look down there and noticed it was a weird sore looking thing at the end of my vagina and close to my rectum area...so of course I panicked and started googling what it could possibly be. I decided to see if it healed soon and let a couple more days go by. By now, it is Thurs, maybe Friday and I noticed another odd thing on my vagina which was like a pimply thing that I popped--that's when I began to freak out. By Sunday (5 days after noticing the initial sore) I decided to go to the ER, they took a look-no swab done, waited there for hours and they told me I had herpes and that I would have this for the rest of my life since there is no cure for it. They prescribed Acyclovir which I began taking on Monday, the following day.I felt absolutely lost. "Was this really happening to me?" I was told to follow up with my OBGYN, so I did and by Wednesday I had an appointment. Wednesday at my OBGYN, the doctor looked at my injuries and said that that did not look like herpes to him and that my sores (only 2) did not look like something he would demonstrate to a health class as herpes AND they were healing too fast and not as a herpes sore heals. Keep in mind that at the ER I was tested for all other STDs and were negative. He told me he would do a blood test but that he did not at all think that it was herpes. They drew blood and off I went a bit more relieved. Three weeks went by and I assumed that the test was negative since I didn't get a call (very unprofessional) by then I check my mailbox and see a letter stating I had a positive result on my blood test. Again, I felt like my heart dropped to my stomach. So I called the OBGYN and followed their instructions to get a second blood test. Thursday, almost 2 months later since the whole situation came about, I got blood drawn again and the doctors looked at my vaginal area since I told them I thought I had herpes lesions-which ended up being hair follicles/pimples. You can understand that I'm completely paranoid of anything that may appear in my vaginal area now. This past week, my 2nd blood test came back positive again with a higher amount of antibodies indicating that my exposure couldn't been more recent according to the doctor. Now to my sex history. Within the last year I have slept with 4 different men. 2 unprotected, 2 protected. I have always gotten tested every 3-6 months (little did I know they don't test for herpes). Last July I had protected sex and oral sex with my boyfriend at the time. Then in November I had unprotected sex with someone else-one time thing. No sex nothing until Januray of this year with my sons dad who I've been on and off with since 2011. Recently in April I had a one night stand protected sex, no oral sex, but the condom did break and immediately he pulled out. And 2 days/3 days later after that encounter that odd sore appeared. I am absolutely confused as to who I could have caught this from if I really do have this. My sons dad has been tested twice since I've informed him and twice he has came back negative. If it is from my recent one night stand can it be possible the antibodies show in the blood within a weeks timeframe??? I feel terribly guilty and confused. Please help! I would love some feedback. PS. No other symptoms have raised. Physically I feel fine, but this news has been an emotional turmoil for me. Very much appreciated!