Atlantic

Thanks for sharing WD. I feel ya... I am dating on EH (in addition to on two H sites, PS and MpwH), so far I have had several EH dates but no reason for disclosure as of yet. One who I really thought it might get there with, but now he's not being so communicative... oh well, it would have been super long distance anyway. The others have been "mEH" dates at best, the H bomb has not been necessary :-/ It's all about the stigma. I am a fit, successful, reasonably attractive woman and I find myself really discombobulated about this situation. Oh, by the way, just since you're on EH.... I just remembered something from one of those questions on EH, the question was "whether you would date someone with an STD." I, of course, answer "depends on which one." One of my "matches" answered "no; and wrote in that "you really should get that taken care of before you start dating," Shocking ignorance about basic factual info. This is evidence of the widespread confusion and ignorance that is out there amongst the civilian dating population. I'll be going to the shelter tomorrow to adopt several more dogs, who needs dating (j/k). Call me the "crazy spinster dog lady"...

I am a 30something female in South Florida. Looking to make friends either locally or elsewhere. After a delayed emotional response to H (1.5 years after contracting it, because I got out of the LTR with the "giver"), I am now addressing it head on and now considering the possibility of a disclosure in the future. I have gotten into yoga and meditation recently, in addition to my long time focus on healthy eating and exercise, these activities are helping me manage stress and mentally cope with the rigors of work, dating as a 30something (bad enough w/o H), and now the H itself. Be strong.

WD, is there an update? How did it go?

Thanks Adrial, I did download the ebook. I appreciated it! I will look for the other threads on LD disclosure. Also, sorry for the double post.

Hi Cliff, Parts of your story seem similar to mine. I obtained the "gift" from a man who I was in a long term relationship with, who I had accepted with it. Ultimately, I did receive the virus from him, and it was a factor that made me stay in the relationship longer than I should have even though we were no longer on the same page about many things. I broke up with him due to the incompatibility that had become apparent, and I am now single and even though I got H 1.5 years ago, now that I am single it's really hitting home. I have been back on the dating horse for a couple of months but have not yet met any man that I have needed to disclose to. There may be a possibility of getting to the "talk" point with a man I have met after connecting on a dating site, and who I communicate with long distance ("LD Guy"; still determining whether we're going to the next step and meeting again). I have also been dating casually with a couple of men from MPWH and PS (the STD dating sites) which has been nice for company, but no really nice connection has emerged or any spark like I felt with LD Guy in our phone chats and one date. But who knows... I could just be conveniently idolizing LD Guy, and I am careful to remind myself of the fact that long distance blurs the negatives of a potential mate. Anyway.... I am just sharing with you, I believe you're on the right track with your attitude and openness. I wish you the best in your new year.

I am possibly going to be disclosing to a man I met from a mainstream dating site. We met in person for the first time last week. We are quite long distance, so I am still not sure what's happening with the situation, but we definitely hit it off when we met. I was not necessarily looking for something long distance, but had my distances preferences on said dating site open to my home state (as I would entertain the idea of moving back there to be near family, if I met someone great there;however, that always seemed like a remote possibility given the normal characteristic of the men in that largely rural, conservative state). He lives a couple of hours from my hometown, and I met him over the recent holidays when I was visiting family. I am still not sure if I am going to be getting to the point of disclosure with him because so far we have just been texting (he's been initiating communications since the meetup, so I feel like he is certainly into me) but haven't scheduled a follow up visit yet. I am inviting input about how the disclosure should best be handled, if we seem like we're moving towards a rendezvous. I do not like the thought of phone or email disclosure, but I would not travel all the way back there (and certainly would not have him travel here) without the talk having happened. Keep in mind this will be my first "talk", as I received the gift during a serious LTR which ended several months back.

Brenda, I am also on EH and am very curious about this experiment. I may implement it too. I am possibly going to be disclosing to a fellow I met from EH last week (we've met once after some long phone convos, have hit it off but are quite long distance). He lives near my hometown and I met him over the holidays when I was visiting family. I am still not sure if I am going to be getting to the point of disclosure with him because so far we have just been texting but haven't scheduled a follow up visit or anything. I am inviting input about how that disclosure should go, since I don't want to leave it until we see each other in person again.