Atlantic

I received it from my ex, who disclosed to me shortly after meeting me. I accepted him and stayed in the relationship, and it took a few years before I showed up with symptoms. Our relationship continued with both of us having it, until it was apparent that the relationship was not working for me and I ended it last year. So for me, accepting and dealing with H was delayed until the relationship ended. I definitely went through some of the difficult and painful thoughts and emotions that you are going through. I reached out here, and worked on healing myself emotionally. Started dating again but did not really meet anyone I liked enough to want to disclose to. About a month ago, I finally met a man who I really liked, and I was pretty intimidated by disclosure, but with the help and support of my fellow H-ers here on the forum, I worked up my strength and courage. I told him, he accepted me and was awesome (I wrote a "happy disclosure" post about it that you can read). The bottom line is that self-acceptance and forgiveness will not be an easy process, but you're on your way. Keep coming here, reading the posts and reach out to an "H buddy" or two. Take care.

Wow. I am not familiar with practices in the UK, but I'd suggest that you try seeing another doctor. Also, perhaps there is a UK-specific forum somewhere else on the internet where you might be able to find some more specific info?

BrightEyes, that's awesome to hear. Your strength and great attitude is apparent in your posts, and it obviously is apparent to this guy as well. No wonder he wants you back. Wish you the best with your relationship!

I agree that in person in best, and also that your relationship with him and outcome may benefit from some more time just getting to know him and exploring the potential relationship, before jumping into the physical side. Ask yourself: How do you feel about him? I've disclosed only once, and in my case, I had spent a couple of months getting to know the person before disclosing. It allows you to establish a bond and friendship, that makes disclosing easier and can help with the result. When you do disclose, start off the talk by focusing on how much you like him and how attracted you are to him. Be prepared with answers to common questions, and statistics. Try to ask him about his questions, and how he feels (try not to ramble a 10 minute long science lecture on the virus). Be authentic and vulnerable, focus on the connection with him, and regardless of what happens, he will have no choice but to admire your integrity and strength.

Thanks for asking this, Sugarplum. I had also wondered this. I am glad that I can now respond knowledgeably to any questions on this subject.

Hey WD, good to see you back :) Hope you are well!

Congratulations Lelani! Wonderful news .

Lots of good points here. I really want to emphasize that the feelings that you have as newly diagnosed will not be with you forever. I encourage you to watch the video chat with Adrial and Ashley- it is super helpful and inspiring. Read through the inspiring stories that are posted here. I am not newly diagnosed but have been coping with the diagnosis over the past about 9 months, having received H from a long term relationship, in which I accepted my ex-partner and eventually got it. It's been a long road, and this forum has helped me. However, I think deep down though, even with all the stress and concern from coping with H and starting to date again, I *knew* that eventually someone would accept me as I had accepted my ex. And now that has happened, as I disclosed for the first time to someone, and it was not an issue for him. Feel free to message me if you like.

Thanks Ashley and Adrial! >:D<

I found the book "Live, Love and Thrive With Herpes" by Dr. Kelly Martin Schuh on Amazon recently. Dr. Schuh is a naturopathic doctor who has lived with H for many years, and the book focuses on holistic approaches to management and treatment of herpes. Although it is geared towards women, I don't see any reason why men would not benefit from the advice and guidance of this book. Dr. Schuh addresses both physical and emotional healing and management of H, through nutritional advice, meditations and affirmations, and resources for living your best life despite H. It is a very inspiring book, and has provided a great source of useful information, in combination with the wonderful support and advice of this forum. Dr. Schuh's book is a key tool for me as I have moved towards acceptance of my H. I highly recommend it.

I agree Saliha. Yes, it is refreshing when you meet someone who is so into you that h does not stand in the way, because they see the amazing package that is me(and I am awesome ;) ). It's still going forward with my guy, in communication, flirting and anticipating our next date (lots of anticipation since we're long distance). I've come a long way over the past year or so, to accept and realize that h is only a barrier in my head, not in reality.

Happy birthday and many thanks for all your great efforts with the site!

Unfortunately, I did experience less efficacy with acyclovir. I started acyclovir after taking generic valtrex for some time, for the same reason as you. I found it did very little to help when I felt like I was getting an OB, and actually made me feel more fatigued. My insurance started paying for generic valcyclovir again, thank goodness. Sorry to have to be negative, but that's my experience. It may be worth it to try and challenge your insurance company.

Niki- See my post about my disclosure story :) Just posted a few minutes ago.

So I had my first talk ever. I am happy to report a success, and hopefully inspire you guys. :) The backstory: I met a guy on a mainstream dating site a few months ago (long distance). After talking, texting and skyping regularly for a couple of months, we met in person for the first time. We spent a couple days hanging out together. I felt an immediate comfort level with him in person, and there was also a lot of physical chemistry and kissing during the weekend, so I knew the talk had to happen because I had a feeling that we would plan another visit, and things would probably escalate to a more physical level the next time. The talk happened right before I left to head home. As you would expect with my first talk (this is the first guy I have decided to disclose to since I had resumed dating post- H, I had been dating again for a few months BUT hadn't met any disclosure-worthy guy until this one :) ) , I was pretty nervous and shaky. But I remembered most of the pointers from this forum and Adrial's guide. I told him how happy I was that we had gotten to know each other, and how comfortable I was with him, then explained that I have HSV 2, that I had contracted it in my previous long term relationship, and then tried my best to go over some of the statistics and transmission risk. I probably missed a few points. I had told him we could definitely talk about it more and to let me know if he had questions. He just said "it's OK" , "it's not a problem" and I must have been like "really?" I probably registered some disbelief at how well he was taking it. He kissed me and we hugged for a long time. Then kissed some more. He seemed more concerned about me, since I was all shaky and stressed out. :) . I am still amazed at how great he was about it. We have been in touch since the other day, and I am still feeling a solid connection with him. Who knows what the future holds... I think he is incredible, and whatever happens, I now feel more close with him, and more confident in myself. It really is all about your approach to the talk. Be positive and start it off by focusing on the positivity of your connection with the person you're disclosing to. Establishing a strong friendship before hand really helps. Now, I know this guy is absolutely legit - I am really falling for him :) I have to give an appreciative shout out to Adrial and my fellow forum members, especially Lelani, whose recent disclosure and relationship story uplifted me and motivated me to pursue this. Thank you all!

Babydoc, please feel free to message me (I'm a woman close to your age, diagnosed for almost 2 years now).

Yay! So happy to hear about another positive outcome. I'm really happy for you, and also inspired as I am pretty sure disclosure is imminent for me next weekend. Great news! :)

Lelani, I am so glad to hear an update. I had a good feeling about this guy and your story has been such a motivation for me to stay open and positive :). Thank you for being such an inspiration to everyone on this board.

The food chart is helpful. Personally, I have just noticed eating a "clean" diet mainly consisting of veggies and veggie proteins has helped me. I guess I am mostly just very health conscious. I am mildly allergic to dairy and generally avoid dairy products, while many people recommend dairy and the chart seems to suggest that dairy includes a lot of lysine so theoretically it should be good. I drink less alcohol, eat less junk foods/processed foods, and eat a lot of veggies and I make my own veggie and fruit juices. I try to include a lot of foods with omega 3 fatty acids, and I take lots of omega supplements. Of course, it's hard to tell whether some of my improvements are due to diet, or due to my body adjusting to HSV after having it for two years now. I get less OBs now, but I still get pretty frequent prodrome symptoms.

Wow, Brighteyes! You are inspiring, and your picture is just stunning too. What a wonderful contribution. I agree with you. As difficult as it has been at times for my to accept, perspective comes with time. In the past two months I have met fellow humans who have had worse situations than myself. One co-worker recently lost a family member to cancer way before her time....I briefly dated a guy who is a cancer survivor... I have a friend who was injured in combat in Afghanistan and recovering... another family member of mine still struggles with PTSD from his service in Iraq. I've lost family and friends from cancer over the years. Other friends have been pressing on through life despite some circumstances I believe are more challenging than H. I am a smart, accomplished woman with a global and deep perspective on life. I happen to have HSV2. When I remind myself about where H falls in the matrix of pain and suffering that is life for most people inhabiting the earth, I am coming to realize more and more that, although difficult, for me it is a "first world problem." That is, really not a problem, though it certainly feels like a challenge on some days (especially as I get ready to disclose to a person I want to get closer with). But I am starting to believe that if it is "meant to be" with this person, he'll accept it and we will be closer for it. Please feel free to inbox me as well, should you ever feel like chatting.

I experienced fatigue and some lightheadedness on it, and acyclovir didn't really help me anyway. I was only taking it because my company changed its insurance plan and valtrex was no longer covered :( Now, I have changed my dietary habits and have a healthier life style, so I am actually needing medication less anyhow.

I was on Valtrex during the year after I acquired HSV2, and was having frequent "occurrences." Valtrex/valcyclovir worked like a charm to get rid on both occurrences and prodrome symptoms. I was in a relationship with the man who gave me his gift, so I was not worried about suppressing for anyone else's sake. I was forced to go on Acyclovir because Valtrex was not covered on our crappy insurance plan at my company. I found that Acyclovir didn't do too much, if anything, and actually seemed to make me a little dizzy and fatigued. Now, I have been eating very well, juicing, taking supplements and I have a pretty healthy exercise schedule. I'm going on two years with H now, so I hope my body is finally starting to really resist the virus. I mostly get prodrome symptoms, and they seem to be fortunately decreasing in intensity. Knock on wood. That said, if I end up back in a relationship with a non-H guy, I'll be paying the price for the valcyclovir.

Thanks for sharing; awesome that you're past the unhappy camper state and embracing life. Herpes is indeed the ultimate douchebag filter :) If my new interest who I'm on the verge of disclosing to cannot see past H, especially given the circumstance by which i acquired it, then it's not meant to survive all the additional challenges that we are going to face if this thing goes forward.

You have to be honest. The risk of transmitting may be small, but it is there. The Golden Rule applies - how would you handle this if the shoe was on the other foot? And you may go into a relationship believing it to be a fling, but what about when it gets more serious, and you're heading towards marriage or long term plans with the person? How do you disclose then? No question- honesty is required!!

Great news! I am on the brink of disclosure with someone who I have a long distance connection with. My situation is a little different, but similarly awkward as we cannot have this discussion in person. I really need to get it out there now, as it is weighing on me, and we've talked a lot about personal issues by this point, so it's time. So pleased to hear of this outcome. I am smiling as I type my response.