Struggling with diagnosis

[Bella2019]

Just looking for a place to vent to people who understand, 

diagnosed a month ago with HSV2. Been in a relationship for 10years with children. My partner ended it so I tried to move on with my life and make the best out of a bad situation. 

Causally dated someone and a week after first sleeping together came down with a classic first outbreak. 

I’m feeling really scared for the future, it hurts that my ex gets to move on and be happy and I’m stuck feeling hopeless for the future. I’ve lost all confidence and motivation to keep going. 

It was hard enough losing ten years of my life, my home and my relationship and changing my children’s life without adding this to the mix. 

Im trying to focus one day at a time, pacing myself and trying not to think to far ahead but it’s hard when it’s all I can think about. It’s all I can think about day and night and this was a time I was meant to be finding myself and now I feel worse than I ever have before. 

Any kind words would be appreciated. 

[Tk2019]

I'm so sorry you're having a difficult time! Divorce is tough anyway (I've been through two myself). I was very deeply depressed when I got hsv 2 back in January. I still struggle with it some days.... well a lot of days.... but someone in this forum suggested I talk to a counselor and I'm so glad I took their advice! There's a lot of good information and advice here.

[100918]

When I was first diagnosed, I felt a lot the same way you do. I was thinking about it constantly and worried that I would never find someone who would love me for me...

My story is different than yours in that I was single and celibate for nearly 10 years before deciding to start dating and had a full panel done in anticipation of starting a sexual relationship. Wanted to be able to tell a future partner that I didn't have anything, and then BAM! Surprise to me...I've had HSV2 for at least 10 years and didn't know.

About 3 months later, I met an amazing man who is HSV-negative. And he is not scared off by the fact that I am positive. We have been together for nearly 6 months now, and he is still negative. We have an amazing sex life, and an even better relationship. HSV is something that I barely think about now. I really only think about it when I log in here to read people's stories and see if there is anything I can do to help someone who is in the position I was in 9 months ago. Otherwise, HSV is not on my mind, ever.

HSV does not define you. Being so fresh off a separation/breakup, I would recommend taking time to work on rebuilding your life, and working on self-love. Knowing your worth and knowing that you have a lot to offer someone is going to be key to allowing yourself to find happiness and to not settle for someone just because he might say he's okay with your disclosure. Set your standards high, know you are worth it, and keep your head up. You WILL be okay!

[Bella2019]

Thank you for your replies they mean a lot, I have booked a counselling appointment to help work through everything. It’s hard it has all come at once but I know I will look back on this time and see how far I’ve come. Thanks again.