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So for any of you following this amazing opportunistic (in all the right ways) forum,I had a date last week. This person actually has herpes and I had connected with him on an STD dating site long before I found this forum. He contacted me and I said.. why not.. ill give it a go (cue British accent although I'm not British lol) went on a first date and put him through the same mission operation (MO) that I would any date... herpes known or not. In one date he mentioned two things that were just indicative of his motive and I was able to recognize it using the philosophy of this forum. One- when stating my opinion about something to which he disagreed he mentioned, "you know that's a turn off for me, right?" And second he states.. as I am discussing my view/option on a subject he mentioned,"you would have to be wearing very little to convince me of that.." Huh??? Yeah, the opportunity we have in front of us is to recognize a potential partner .. And I'm not just talking disclosure.. I'm talking mind set. Recognizing a potential is realizing that you want to share who you are regardless of opinions or viewpoints.. It's about a respectful connection. Herpes or not ..the dating is still the same..weeding out who is right for you and hopefully that is someone kind and caring and who is really well.. The person who makes you smile.. keep ur chin up, Peeps .. There truly is someone for everyone and it's hard because its only one.. Or a select few. Therefore it's hard to find. Stay true to you , friends ;) keep searching .. I will.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I agree we should not look at dating with H any differently than we did without it (beside the disclosing and honesty of course). We still need to look for characteristics in our potential partners that will help us become better people and make us shine not hold us down and belittle us. And the first couple dates and weeks are the perfect time for all those things to be put on the table, the "getting to know you" stage of a relationship is a time that can make or break a potential relationship I take them very seriously. Your right it is a mindset and a respectful connection, no you do not have to have the same opinions as your boyfriend, but you guys do have to respect the fact that you think differently. I know my boyfriend and I have very different opinions on a certain subject and we both know that we don't have to understand the others opinion but we do have to respect it. Being in a relationship doesn't mean becoming the other person.

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I agree with both you. Just because we have herpes doesn't change the fact that we deserve to be treated with love and respect. We do not have to "settle" because we have herpes. The same rules apply when dating - get to know someone and watch for the red flags. I think herpes has allowed us to really look at relationships and people more closely and bring our brains and our hearts to the table. :)


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