On the verge of a breakdown

[OutOfWit]

Just need to get on here and let my emotions run.

I have been on this site for many years. I have Oral and Genital HSV1. I have zero idea how I contracted genital but it took many years for the diagnosis, after visit after visit to the ObGYN and a lot of research. I have never had a positive swab and I have atypical symptoms. My OBs appear like folliculitis - at the bikini line and few small red dots on my thighs and buttocks. For years I never knew what it was. 

It was always my biggest fear I would transmit it to my daughter, especially because by the time I got the diagnosis it was years after I had her. 

A few years ago she had her first symptom in the summer. She was 8 years old. I noticed a large pimple like sore which was healing at her bathing suit line. She followed that with “poking sensations” itching burning and discharge. I did take her to the doctor but they decided not to swab. 

 

Now years later in May I noticed another pimple like sore in her bikini line that looks a lot like my small sores. I was not able to get her to the doctor in time for a swab. 

She also has had small red dots one at a time on her upper thigh, outer thigh and inner thigh. None have any kind of fluid in them that I can tell. 

I know this sounds over the top but the small red dots that she gets on her thigh look exactly like mine do .... but no one will listen. I don’t wish to traumatize her by bringing her to multiple doctors to swab private areas on her. But I feel like I’m just waiting for a bomb to go off... 

the more areas pop up the more it compounds the evidence for me that she has it. How did she get it? Was I not careful and she sat in my lap when she was younger. Did I scratch a sore before I knew what it was and then touch her. I’m drowning in what ifs. And the terror of how she will handle this as a young girl. It’s not fair. She will never be able to navigate life as a normal tween. I am not okay! 

[justbri.]

I can’t even image the mental anguish you are feeling. If you can’t get doctors to test, it may be worth it to spend some extra cash on a home herpes test. Swab her the moment you notice the sores and send it in to a lab. You can get the results online. 

I hope everything turns out well. 

[100918]

It is my understanding that if you have oral HSV-1, it will not later become genital. You can become infected with HSV-1 orally and genitally at the same time, but I could swear that I read that once your infection is established, it will not migrate. Once it has settled in a region, that should be it. If you know you had oral HSV-1 and that was established and then down the road these folliculitis-looking sores popped up and they have never swabbed positive, I would bet that you do not actually have HSV genitally. And the sores that your daughter has that match yours are also probably folliculitis.

Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you are stressing yourself out over nothing.

 

[Girlneedinghelp]

In my opinion I don't think you will have given your daughter HSV. I actually think it's quite difficult to spread to someone when you know you have it, and your immune system just keeps getting better and better at suppressing it. Just from experience you are only risking giving it to people when you are in a relationship with them. I know when you worry about something all of a sudden everything seems to point at that one conclusion, but it can be your head playing tricks on you sometimes. If you are truly worried get a kit at home for on stand by for next time you see something but I'm thinking it wont be HSV.. I sometimes get like little a spot or something on my inner thigh which I know is not HSV because I know what those sores are like..