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Given my partner herpes...

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It was about a year ago I found out I had HSV-1 and since then it hasn't been easy. Wishing I could turn back the clock and not be intimate with certain people, or ignoring my symptoms and being blissfully unaware, however that isn't the type of person I am and I explored every avenue to receive a proper diagnosis. This then meant I would have to be honest with future partners which scared the hell out of me, and I even considered not telling them.

However when I started getting feelings for someone I realised that I couldn't keep this from her, and because of the connection we had I actually felt quite confident that she would accept it. This didn't stop my nerves before telling her though but luckily it went well and we've said no more about it since. But several months down the line she tells me she has been diagnosed with herpes, I feel terrible but she reassures me she knew the risks and doesn't blame me.

Knowing I have given someone an incurable STI does make me feel bad, but what would make me feel 1000000x worse is if I didn't tell them I had herpes in the first place. I know it isn't easy but disclosure really is the way forward, it brings you closer together through honesty.

I have herpes, I disclosed to my partner and now she has herpes too. The "worst case" has happened but I'm fine, she's fine, and herpes really is no big deal. 

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If it makes you feel any better, Chicken Pox is also part of the Herpes family of virus. And just like Chicken Pox, it lies dormant in our bodies and then can flare up (in the form of Shingles as in the case of chicken pox).

And back in the day, and even now...people had/have chicken pox parties and willingly share the virus...knowing that it will forever be in our bodies. And no one bats an eye. The only reason there is stigma attached to HSV is because it is spread through sexual contact...but it's still the same family of virus. 

HSV flares up more often, but is very similar to chicken pox...bumps, pop/burst, scab, some discomfort, repeat.

The only real difference is that HSV can shed and be spread when you don't have symptoms whereas with chicken pox, while it's dormant, it doesn't shed.

The more I learn about HSV, the less I think it's a big deal. Should definitely still disclose, but not a big deal.

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