too many unanswered questions and i truly feel like i am in limbo...

[sniperchick62]

on the evening of Aug14th i became aware of a foul smelling vaginal discharge and believed it to be Bacterial Vaginosis. i had had BV 7 years ago and Metronidazole kicked it for me at that time. i went to the clinic on Aug15th to get a prescription for Metronidazole and thought that it would all be done within a week or so, but no such luck.

Sept 8th, i experienced the discomfort of my skin between the crease of my right inner thigh and the Labium majus. it really just felt like a point of friction from the in-seam from the crotch of my favorite jeans and not horrible like some people have described.

afternoon of Sept 9th i recognized what appeared to be two small blisters in the same said region noted on the day prior.

Sept 9th i went to the clinic and talked with my Dr. i requested more Metronidazole and after showing him the two small blisters, he agreed to me having a swab done. the one blister literally disappeared as it popped when he touched it with the swab and i felt that it was a good "catch" of fluid to be sent off for evaluation. my Dr gave me a prescription for the antiviral cream Zovirax and Valtrex pills as well after the swab was taken.

i patiently waited until Sept 26th only to hear that the swab came back negative for the presence of HSV and i was honestly shocked to hear that this was the result.

after hearing the about the negative swab result, i requested to have the Ab igG blood test done.

i got the phone call Oct 4 from the clinic, went in to see the Dr and a copy of the results were given to me.

the results listed as follows:

"Evidence of past infection with HSV. this assay does not distinguish between antibody to HSV 1 or 2".

 

in all honesty, i don't know what i am supposed to do now and i feel really stuck.

i feel aggravated because i don't know what strain i have, i feel like i have an ongoing yeast infection that presents differently than a "regular" yeast infection (there is no BV-like foul smell anymore, but rather constant opaque / whitish, non-cottage cheese like discharge that makes everything itchy in the area), i didn't have any pain while urinating during my "outbreak", no blisters appeared on any of my labia or inner region of my female parts, i did get 4 more blisters in the same area as the first two, but this is the part that is killing me....i can't figure out why my armpits, chest, neck and fingers are itchy when i am going to sleep at night. my patience is wearing out and i really have no one to talk to about all of this.

this whole experience is doing nothing short of exhausting my thoughts and i was told that i can't get a final diagnosis until i have another "outbreak"!!!! i was sent home on Oct 4th with two sterile swabs, in the event that another "outbreak" occurs, and believe me, the stress that i am dealing with may very well bring on another "outbreak".

my main concern is in that i don't know when i am supposed to feel as close to normal as i did before all of this began in Aug. when will all of this "stuff" cease and i will feel less disgusting, less on edge, less like dousing my body in bleach and less like i'm dirty?

i now have two different razors for in the shower, two different towels that i use when drying off after a shower, i am constantly washing my hands and it's as though i have become paranoid about transferring the type that is down there to up top, if it were to be HSV 1.

it's bad enough that i can't "be" the way that i used to be and i know just how crappy it feels to be aware of the fact that a little piece of me has died. i used to feel sexy, fun and alive. now i have become anti-social and i just work too much.

i'm 39, never married (only engaged once), never wanted kids, but i have always wanted a lifelong fella to share things with. this unfortunately is NOT what i had in mind with regard to sharing :(

i guess it's me and the gym from here on out! that's positive right?

thoughts....? any advice on how to get some solid answers and any ideas as to WHY I CAN'T STOP SCRATCHING MY ARMPITS, CHEST, NECK AND FINGERS AT NIGHT? i get if i am a little itchy where the blisters had been, but c'mon!!!!

 

 

 

[Saliha]

wow...not sure what to tell you, other than I can empathize with you that it would suck not knowing what the heck is going on. I thought the blood test could tell what strain you have? Can they do it again? I too have some weird symptoms and reactions often. I break out with a rash and itch all the time down there, but not really blisters and it can come and go just like that. My Docs don't think it is a H outbreak, but it is def something related...blisters or not...I am always itchy...not in other places like you though, so that would be annoying. I didn't think it could affect those areas. I would get another opinion if I were you...maybe your body just needs some more time to settle down. Do you take daily anti-virals? Does an anti-histimine or itch cream help or work? Just throwing ideas out there...good luck!

[sniperchick62]

thank you for your reply Saliha!

the mere fact that you replied to my post makes me feel less alone in dealing with all that has gone on in the last little while and to you i am truly grateful!

 

[Iamme34]

Hi I just wanted to tell you, u are not alone... I've had it for months now but my outbreaks are very lil n not long...

I think the longer u go the better it gets...

I've heard the anti meds do make people itch everywhere...

Not sure if it's true because I've never been on them but I've heard a lot of people talk about that.. I do get itchy down under every now and again with no symptoms of anything.. But I do believe it's something that happens while ur body is getting use to the skin condition...

Trust me when I tell you,

You are not alone.. Everyone here has gone thru some kind of confusion... With this virus... I can't understand why the blood rest would be confusing though.. My doctor tested three strains... 1&2 and heroes simplex n mine came back positive for hsv 2... I'm so sorry to hear about all the issues but I'm telling you I'm so right there with you.. In my opinion I would just for now look for support find info on what u MIGHT have n love urself... U are not dirty,

Or anything else in that matter... Everything happens for a reason n I will understand the longer u go, n the more support u have, this is a skin condition...

N just one u have to be cAreful with... If u need anything I'm here... Much love and support for you...

Love you.... U deserve that right now atleast...<3 u are not alone... We r standing right here.. Besides they

say if we all with herpes were to hold hands it would stretch across the world...

That's definitely not alone...:0)

[HBetty]

Hi Sniperchick,

 

I have had some of the same issues with Drs. I don't know if it's just because they don't see it as a critical disease or what. I read somewhere to think of it as basically acne of the genitals. That makes me feel much better. But any who, I had the same thing. A yeast infection that kept coming back. I knew something was not right. The Doc did a swab, and the test came back negative. On my THIRD visit to swab another sore that had popped up I got the diagnosis of HSV 2. My heart dropped. But in all honesty, I have a feeling it's the universe telling me that I need to be aware and screen men more closely. I had gotten into a cycle of desiring attention even if it was only sexual. Who knows though...I think it was someone that I loved very dearly who gave it to me. Sigh. I go back and forth. I guess I just wanted to say that you are not alone. It's easy to see why this disease is so common. Drs don't suggest a test for it unless you show symptoms. HELLO that is not going to slow the spread. Ugh. I'm sorry you are hurting. No one asks for this or deserves the stigma or the emotional ramifications of this. I'm going to send you a cyber hug, and an everything will be alright.

[sniperchick62]

@ Iamme34

thank you for your words and thoughts. each person that shares their experience reminds me more and more that i am NOT alone!

 

[sniperchick62]

thank you HBetty!

this part that you wrote meant a lot to me!

"No one asks for this or deserves the stigma or the emotional ramifications of this. I'm going to send you a cyber hug, and an everything will be alright."

i appreciate you taking the time to say hello!

 

[Orngpeelmafia]

Ok well first off calm down :) I know that's a LOT easier said than done but with herpes it's actually better if you keep calm. You may be continuing to feel symptoms because you're so stressed. It's completely understandable I remember how I felt when I had my first OB and keeping calm was the most impossible seeming task ever. Also I tend to think sometimes we make up the itches...the mind is a powerful thing and while we are all H-tastically awesome here I wonder if my focusing and thinking about all my symptoms don't cause some to appear when the virus isn't coming out to play. Just food for thought :)

 

I'm just now coming to terms with the fact that every itch isn't herpes...Adrial made a comment in one of these discussions that hit home hardcore with me and is so true...I was spending 99% of my time worrying about my 1% chance of transmitting. I think the same goes for showing symptoms...I spend a majority of my time diagnosing every twitch and tingle my lady bits experience...I'm sure they could use a break from all the scrutiny they've been under for the past year. I have accepted herpes but that doesn't mean it's not a big deal for me still. That need to know my body to prevent anything from ever transmitting has been a big road block in me moving forward in my relationship.

 

My point before I ramble too much is that we hold ourselves back more than we like to admit and how we see ourselves is vastly different from what the rest of the world see us. And that's sans herpes. Add a social stigma into the mix and boy howdy is that recipe for trouble...just have hope and believe in yourself...you're worth more than you think and it might take having herpes for you to realize that...I know that's how it worked for me <3

[Iamme34]

Everyone on here is here to support you and be here for you... Orngpeelmafia is right... It's something we all go thru... The worries n frustration of this thing that's happened to us... Stay strong n be positive... <3

[sniperchick62]

@ Orngpeelmafia

well written and i thank you for taking the time to reply to my post. it is true that we can all be our own worst enemy at times, but we have to also remember to be our own best friend as well.

thank you to all for the virtual hugs that i have received thus far and i look forward to becoming more educated and learning more from those that post here!