My story

[Tracy3]

I had broken off a 7 years relationship where 5 of those years there was no intimacy. So naturally I wanted to get out and explore dating and sex. I had a friend in my school program and we slowly hit it off. I started seeing him away from my school and we started to get intimate. I asked before we had sex if he has been tested. He stated yes and that he was clean. I trusted what he said. I also wasn't on birth control at the time so we used a condom, while having sex he took it off and I let him because I didn't think of contracting an std. Long story short I had a horrible outbreak, went to the doctors to be tested and 5 days later was devastated by the news of my short lived adventure. What really sucked is that I saw his suppressive medicine for herpes before having sex but didn't know and didn't google what the medicine was.

 

What a _____ (fill in the blank). I've filled it with sympathetic words and words to express my anger and hurt. Not sure what stage of grief I'm in because it fluctuates from time to time. However I have disclosed to partners and the feeling of integrity I have from being responsible, showing respect, and love to others trumps the rejection any day.

 

I can sit here, just like many of you, and write a list of how this one person's actions and lack of respect for my life has effected me. However I'd rather spend my time figuring out what's next. What can I make of this? What can I do to help my friends who are dating to avoid careless people like this. Bottom line is I've been striving to be transparent and vulnerable to what life has offered me and what my life can be like. I wish you all the best and I'm glad to be apart of a community that is supportive of living for opportunities.

[fyrefenyx]

It still hurts you and talking about it and getting your anger out helps. Obviously, youre going to be upfront and honest and disclose to your partners (at least thats what i infer)

 

Remember, you cant control other peoples reactions (along with their lack of integrity)...u can only control yours. How ppl treat u is their karma; how you react is yours.

[nic4897]

So I know you understand the hurt of your story so I'll save that part. I will share what I've discovered and it may be the greatest result about your story. I was diagnosed seven years ago. I trusted him and blah blah I'm sure you can figure out the ending. The greatest part about this whole thing is that you now have a chance. A chance to seperate who actually cares as well as who really couldn't. This condition changes our awareness to filter who we trust in our bodies and who we do not in a way you probably never thought previous to this experience. Yes. You lose some freedom. But, equally you gain it because with our greatest weaknesses come our greatest strengths and I promise you the strength you gain from this new way of thinking will far surpass any psychological weakness of choosing who is kind and who isnt. The person you next choose will ultimately be a great person because you would have intrinsically felt they are kind enough to disclose and still respect you and themselves in the end. It's a safeguard that wasn't there in the experience you described first. It's awesome and it's what you deserve. Blessings :) Good luck and welcome here!

[SheWillBLoved]

I loved your story Tracy! You sound like a warrior. Thankyou

[Tracy3]

Ah I wanted to change one thing - It sounded pretty crappy of me to say, "I can sit here, like many of you..." I didn't articulate myself well. What I meant is that I do find myself sitting here thinking of how this person ruined my life.... blah blah blah. But I'm choosing to change my ways and start focusing on what I can do next.

[fyrefenyx]

:D we're all human. Each of us lets go and moves forward on our own pace :-)