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Just a little bit of herpes advice please :)

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Hi guys! Im just after a little bit of help :) I was diagnosed with Herpes last week and am currently going through all the emotions im sure you all know well...upset, feeling down, scared of being alone etc etc! (the guy i think i got this from ended the relationship last week also, nothing to do with the Herpes but as you can imagine it has only left me feeling worse) anyway, i have decided to get as much information as possible about this in the hope it will make me feel better! I came across this site and am so happy i did!!! i am (as my username will suggest) from the UK. Im not sure if any of you guys are? I find that the topic is not as 'popular' (for want of a better word) over here and there are less sites, support groups etc that i can turn to so im feeling pretty alone on this one! I am really trying to find out as much information as i can about safer sex when you have herpes. One day in the future i hope to find someone and want to be prepared to give them all of the information i can! Im getting confused by the information im finding on various sites so i thought the best option would be to talk to people going through this too! I asked my doctor yesterday if i could start taking supressive medication, he said no! apparantly you cant take it unless you have more than 6 outbreaks in a year and even when you do take it you can only have it for a year at the most...is this true? i would personally like to take this all of the time to lessen the risk for future partners! any other real life tips for safer sex would be much appreciated! i like to plan in advance, i feel the more i know the better i will deal with this! thanks so much for all your help in advance :)

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Hi ukgirl! I am very sorry to hear how it is not as seemingly "common" in the uk. I am sure this is a virus common everywhere but no one will talk about it unfortunately. I can relate with some of the emotions you are probably experiencing because even a year since finding out and my initial outbreak I am still struggling. My ex guy left me too pretty soon after and denied he had it. I can only say that with time and positive experiences it can get better. I go days with forgetting I have it and them go days where I am constantly on a downer about my life especially dating life. It is hard when you realize you can't live and have relationships the same way you had before.


About the suppressive therapy, I have never heard that before. I was prescribed valicyclovir right when I was diagnosed which thankfully I was able to use for the initial outbreak. Ever since then I have had zero and only a couple days here and there where I feel a tingle and take a couple pulls to suppress it. You should find another doctor who will prescribe you medication because it is nice. I have it as a just in case emergency safety net. If you do end up having more frequent outbreaks you'll want the pills to speed up the healing process and they can also reduce viral shedding.


Also, drinking alkaline water or alkaline foods or pills will help balance the PH in your body helping your immune system along with L-lysine vitamins. Get plenty of rest and avoid very stressful people! If you wanna talk more message me anytime I love talking on here with people who know this experience and I woul love to help... I always need help too.

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Thanks so much for writing back, it has helped a huge amount to know other people are going through the same thing, it even sounds as if we had a similar experience with the ex's! its hard to be going through the shock of this plus a break up at the same time! im sorry to hear you are still struggling with this, i can understand why if im honest! everything you have said above i can really relate to! reading through other discussions on here though makes me feel pretty positive we can feel better about this in time :) thanks so much for all of the information, i will definitely take your advice! i am going to try and find another doctor this week who will hopefully be able to help with the supressive therapy, its good to know there are doctors out there who do know what they are talking about so I'll give it a go, fingers crossed! i would love to talk more about this, thanks again for all your help! :)

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Hey UK girl I am from New Zealand and its not talked about at all...lots of misinformation and very few, if any support groups so I know how you feel!


Oh the ex's...there's a reason why they become the ex. In the future herpes just moves things on a bit faster of they aren't the right one...almost like a little insurance policy for getting rid of guys who aren't good or right for you.


Yes get informed and find another supportive doctor. I don't know what its like over there but doctors are slim pickings here and its hard to find a good one and get signed up as their patient. I'm lucky I have a good one but as far as herpes is concerned, she tested me, the nurse later phoned me the results and that was it...no advice...nothing! We really have to do the research ourselves and that's actually quite empowering.


Good luck with a new doctor and I'm glad you found this site :-)

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Hi Lelani! thanks so much for the reply :) wow, so it seems as if we are in a very similar situation in both countries! hehe i love the way you describe the guy situation, its very true and put a smile on my face! the ones who stick around are the ones who are worth our time right :) Im going to try a specialist clinic this week so fingers crossed they are more helpful! the exact same thing happened to me when i got my results...phone call with the information then left me to it! you're right though, it can be empowering, look at the positives eh! thank you again for replying, hopefully i will be able to find a good one like you eventually did :) talk soon!

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Great advice all around, Lelani and inspired! (As always) ;)


Yeah, there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to get medication. Definitely find a doctor who is more knowledgeable on herpes and they should give you a prescription. And as far as the "don't take the meds longer than a year" business, I've never heard that. So unless it's a law only in the UK, I'd chalk that up to misinformation. ;)


(Note: I'm not a doctor, so this is layman's advice.) I agree with inspired: just keep the meds on hand for emergencies, such as when you're feeling an outbreak coming on (whatever your prodrome signals are: tingles, burning, itching, etc.). You shouldn't have to take suppressive therapy unless your outbreaks are very frequent and severe (which tends to drastically lessen as time goes on, your body builds up immunity and you stay healthy) OR if you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't have herpes and you're trying to lessen the chance of passing herpes on to him.


I actually suggest that people don't start immediately on suppressive therapy so you can get to know your outbreaks naturally. You could be like many people who after their first outbreak have very few outbreaks for the rest of their life. And even if you have only a few outbreaks a year, that might not necessitate taking medication every day in order to avoid. My girlfriend doesn't have herpes, so I take suppressive therapy (400mg twice a day) to keep her herpes-free, but if I were single, I wouldn't take suppressive therapy at all and just let the outbreaks run their course.


Hope this helps, UK girl! Take care of yourself and best of luck to you at the specialist! :)


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Thanks for being so supportive guys, really helps! im really happy to hear you have never heard the not taking the meds for longer than a year advice...i think the doctor i went to just wasn't very clued up on this! ive found that the internet can be a pretty confusing place also when it comes to this topic so getting information off people who are going through this and actually know what they are talking about is brilliant! its interesting to hear all the advice on not taking supressive therapy all of the time, just when you are in a relationship or if the outbreaks are bad/having it there just in case it gets bad! to be honest with you mine havent been too bad and i am not in a relationship right now...this information has taken the pressure off a huge amount! i was worried i should really be taking this medication right now which i think is why i was in such a rush for answers etc. now i feel i can take a step back and really look for a doctor who knows what they are talking about instead of stressing about having to find somebody right away!


Just a bit of an update...i went to see a specialist today, they were not too happy about prescribing me medication today (i was freaked out about this at the time but now im way more positive about it...no rush) but did assure me that some doctors will, it may just be that i will have to be persistant and argue my case well! they put me in touch with a brilliant charity over here...i gave them a ring and they were great! they were so relaxed about the whole thing and really just said there is nothing to worry about, just live life and be happy, this is only a minor skin condition and is not something anyone should be upset about...it is very common! they gave the same advice about doctors over here...it is such a cheap medication that all doctors should prescribe it but as the condition is viewed as such a minor thing that we shouldnt worry too much about that not many know what they are talking about in relation to this! she said it may just be that i will have to kick up a bit of a fuss to get what i want but eventually i will find somebody who knows what the are talking about :) an interesting fact they told me...according to their research only 1 in 9 people will get rejected by somebody over this, which means 8 in 9 are totally accepting woohoo! the 1 in 9 just isnt worth it ;)


Thanks again for all of your help everybody!

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