i am alone, in the dark, just finding out

[PlzHelpMe]

I found out I have herpes I am scared, I don't even go around my friends anymore and we WOMAN that gave it to me I still love her, even though she has a boyfriend I don't plan on dating anymore once people find out I have it I might as well die I just cry all day after work thinking how did this happen didn't think another woman could give me gential herpes dec 19th I go see the doc to find out if its oral ( of the mouth ) also but they cant detect that unless its an outbreak happens. I am alone

[Peachyogurtisawesome]

Herpes aside you deserve a mate who gives you managomy. And if she can't give that then at least putting you and wanting you abovr other people. i know you feel cheated. and like this is the worst thing that could happen to you. Imagine my surprise when i not only found out this man gave it to nme but he was also married. That mother fucker lol. My advice is ur on the right track cutting this female out of ur life and u will find someone to love you. Its not the end of the world. There are so many inspiring stories of success nit just in finding love but just in finding general happiness in life.

[WCSDancer2010]

Plzhelpme: First - Welcome! Glad you found us.

 

And first, I just want you to take a deeep breath and let it out. I can see you are in freak-out mode (totally normal when first diagnosed) but I PROMISE this is not the end of you life, your sex life, or the world. ;)

 

First, why shouldn't you get it from a woman? I assume you kiss, and I think somewhere you may have mentioned she gave you oral sex. And you could also spread it on your hand from one person to another. Any of the above could spread it to you. If you happen to grind your lady parts then that's another way you can spread it. Just because you are a lesbian doesn't exclude you from STD's ,,, sorry!

 

As far as not dating, well, that is just plain crazy. If you read a bunch of the posts on here you will see many examples of stories where people are in loving, committed relationships with partners who are H-. You can start on here for some inspiration :http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/categories/herpes-talk-success-stories

 

Yes - there is an adjustment to having Herpes but really, it is just an annoying skin condition (as per Medical Dr's AND those of us who have had it for awhile) with a waaay overplayed stigma attached to it (that many of us on here are dedicated to changing). The stigma mostly comes from a lack of knowledge and understanding of the disease. Have you read the handouts and E-book that Adrail has on here? They are a GREAT source for info and understanding :

 

http://bit.ly/h-opp-diagnosis-handout

http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout

Disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

Start there then come back if you have any other questions. But do know you are NOT alone. 80% of the population has it and 80% of them don't know they have it.

 

(((HUGS)))

[OnTheBrightSide]

@PlzHelpMe You are absolutely positively not alone. Everything that is making you cry is rooted in you imaging what your future holds. We were all there once, very few could see how much better it could get. We had to believe when others told us so. We had to trust that success stories weren't outliers.

 

Give yourself time to heal. Please keep the conversation going.

[PlzHelpMe]

Thank you all