Adulthood, fuck yeah.

[Abbsley]

My name is Abby, I'm 19 years old. I'm currently in the middle of my first outbreak, and I just found out that I have the herps. I'm not really sure where to begin. I'll probably end up rambling like everyone else, so bear with me.

 

It started out with severe genital pain that I chalked up to just friction wounds and a bacterial infection. I'd been sleeping with my partner for a year already with no real problems. I saw my doctor and she collected samples of my blood, urine, and swabs of my vajay, then gave me medicine to treat me for everything until the results came back.

The next night was unbearable. I headed in to the ER for pain. Without a second thought, the doctor examined me and said "Oh, yeah. That's a herpes." After the exam, we talked about the medicine my primary care doctor put me on and he adjusted my treatment for the time being until I go back to see her.

 

I'm going to divide this experience into two categories for y'all:

 

Physical: I am in so much pain. This is about day 7. It hurts to sit, walk, wake up, use the bathroom, wash the area, and even just touch it gently. There hasn't been a day this week I haven't cried out from the extreme stinging. I couldn't even bring myself to have a bowel movement for the first 5 days. I'm taking Valtrex to speed up the healing process, Metrocondizole for bacterial infection, a daily pro-biotic and lysine for good bacteria and antibody production, Dulcolax to help with bowel movement pain, and hydrocodone for all-the-time pain. So far this week, I've developed a consistent high heart rate, constipation, nerve damage, anxiety, and genital pain so severe that I literally shat my bed, bro.

 

Emotional: I feel what everyone feels--that I am now one of those diseased, dirty people that you need to stay away from. I feel stuck. I'm confused. I feel scared that my life is never going to be the same. I'm full of questions. However, I'm trying to stay positive and I really believe I can get this under control. I can't wait to feel better and have sex again!

 

Before I sign off I'd just like to document some concerns of mine.

-What about oral sex? Will I still be able to give/receive it?

-How does it spread about the body in general? Can I touch my own body without much worry?

-What is herpes exactly? Where does it come from? What do we know about it?

-Is it possible to ever reach a point where my chances of passing it on are slim to none?

 

Thanks for reading! Looking forward to finding answers.

[Aimee (previously baffled1]

Hello Abby,

you are in the right place and you are not alone. i hope feel better soon. I'm rather impressed with your take on it and just learning you have it. You will find that you can get answers to your questions and concerns here. Do you if its HSV1 or HSV2?

HSV1 is the Oral herpes and HSV2 is genital herpes. It is rare to get HSV2in the mouth. It is possible to get HSV1 genitally though. Its a virus that does not discriminate; anyone can get it, and effects the skin...

[mr_hopp]

Hi Abbsley and welcome to you!

 

You're in the right place. And you're in good company. Everything you're saying is quite common. It doesn't make it any less scary or painful to go through now, but know you're not alone and it TOTALLY gets so much better. The physical symptoms get less and less as your body builds up more and more immunity to the herpes virus (just keep taking care of yourself physically, diet-wise, emotionally, mentally, etc. — good excuse to continue to take care of yourself on many levels!) The other non-physical symptoms that you list (those nasty beliefs you rattle off) are a figment of your imagination. I know that I'm not one of those diseased, dirty people you're talking about. ;) And now you get to realize for yourself that you're not either. You get to decide that. You get to decide to accept yourself and move toward healing yourself on a deeper level. Herpes just tends to dig up a lot of the junk in our heads that's always been there, telling us we're not enough. So now guess what? You get to finally once and for all take a look at all those foul beliefs and prove them wrong. Look inside yourself and start doing a personal inventory. Find all of those things that you are that blow herpes out of the water. Know that right now you're making a skin rash bigger than you are. That's not you being fair to yourself and your own POWER and BEAUTY. If you see herpes as capable of taking away all of that awesome stuff you have inside of you, then you clearly aren't looking hard enough. :)

 

As far as answering your questions, read all the content that I've provided in all these different sections of the site. Read up on all of it. Get educated. Because once you get the facts and reality in your head, the nightmare and stigmatized fantasies can start to leave your head. Check out all these links so you can start to quell the paranoia:

 

Disclosure e-book & post-diagnosis/post-disclosure handouts:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

FAQs:

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1758/frequently-asked-questions-on-herpes-and-popular-conversations/p1

 

Doctor Leone answers all our questions at our in-person support group:

http://herpeslife.com/doctor-answers-questions-about-genital-herpes-hsv-and-hpv

 

There's also tons of articles on the Herpes Life blog for you to read up on:

http://herpeslife.com

 

You're in good hands here. And you will learn to love your life again. Probably even more than you've ever loved it before. Trust me. ;)

[WCSDancer2010]

I'm waaay behind on all these postings (it was DEAD in here 2 days ago - now I'm scrambling to catch up!).... BUt, quick answers (definitely to to the links Adrial gave and work your way through the site...pretty much everything you asked is answered somewhere;

 

Short answers just to help you sleep tonite:

 

What about oral sex? Will I still be able to give/receive it?

Yes - you have Herpes on your genitals, not your mouth (from what you say here). :)

 

How does it spread about the body in general? Can I touch my own body without much worry?

It doesn't spread around the body - the Herpes will generally stay where it was first contracted (it actually stays on the same nerve pathway and hides in the nerve ganglion when it goes dormant - then travels back down that nerve to the skin during an outbreak)

 

What is herpes exactly? Where does it come from? What do we know about it?

There is a ton of info on here about it.... read the links Adrial gave you as well as the handouts for starters then come back for clarification ...

Handouts:

http://bit.ly/h-opp-diagnosis-handout

http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout

Is it possible to ever reach a point where my chances of passing it on are slim to none?

short answer - over time your body will create antibodies to keep it at bay. Once you get through the first few weeks/months, OB's will lessen. OB's will eventually become a barometer of your physical and emotional health as stress is the #1 thing that will cause an OB. Us females have the added issue of our Periods (ie, hormonal stress) that may trigger OB's. Over time though, it WILL lessen and you WILL learn to live with it. I'm 52, I've had HSV2 since I was 17. Since menopause I hardly have any OB's... and I didn't have the acyclovir to help control it at your age (only used it for the last 8 years or so). Supressive therapy drugs and knowing your symptoms will go a long way towards reducing your chances of passing it on. Again, read the handouts for the stats.

 

Hope this helps you a bit. But know that you will be fine in the long run. We are here to help you through your journey.....

 

(((HUGS)))

[Abbsley]

Oh my gosh, thank you everyone! I was not expecting any replies on this at all. I'm reading all the links and stuff. It makes me feel so much better. You guys are really on top of stuff o.o

 

Aimee--Impressed, eh? :) I don't know if it's HSV 1 or 2 yet, but I'm hoping for 2 since that stays in one spot, it sounds like.

 

Adrial--Just, wow. Your attitude makes me want to look at this differently. I had actually already read some of those links =D I got here through your videos on Youtube. Your words inspire me!

 

WCSDancer--I appreciate your in-depth answers. They help me visualize my future with herpes. I'm starting to think I will be okay :)