Husband got his herpes test results back ...

[lossofwords]

So my husbands dr.`s office called w/more an other test results back, hes pos. for H too,. I have to admit I am kinda happy knowin where it came from an/or he has it too, but sad he has it. Is an/or am I selfish for feelin this way?

[peterk]

no

[mr_hopp]

(Ah, peterk, you're so straight and to the point.) ;)

 

lossofwords, how does your husband feel about having herpes? I do understand the relief that you could feel after finding that out since you don't have to worry about spreading herpes to him anymore.

 

I would only think it was selfish if you didn't care about his feelings and were just relieved only for yourself, but I don't think that's the case, knowing you. :)

[lossofwords]

Adrial (Mr. H Opp)

I am/an do worry/worried bout his feelings. He said hes fine, he doesnt feel ne diff then what he did b4 he knew. Is the feeling diff for women cause our outbreaks our worse then mens.?

[WCSDancer2010]

I think women are more apt to over think things and we have been trained to believe that to have casual sex means we are sluts (as opposed to men being the studs) and although we generally have overcome alot of that crap, Herpes is a pro at digging it all up and magnifying it. And many believe that if you have an STD, you got it from casual sex.

 

I didn't think twice about it when I first was diagnosed... it wasn't until I got divorced and started learning all the things I was supposed to do to protect others and all the advertising that was done to make Herpes out to be the plague that I freaked out.

 

http://herpeslife.com/inventing-herpes

 

That said, I've seen/heard plenty of guys freaking out about it too.

[HerryTheHerp]

I think you've just been given a huge blessing. Now you can stop worrying about the herpster and refocus on the intimacy. ;)

 

I definitely think we men have it easier in some regards. From what I've read it does tend to go easier on us over time with fewer OB's in part because our hormones don't go through as many shifts and our immune systems respond a little differently. However, it's also harder mentally when we realize just how few of us have the virus inside us. 1 in 4 for women, 1 in 9 for men. But, who knows? That ratio might actually be lower because not even your husband knew.

 

Knowing does tend to take a toll on our emotions at first, but for the mature among us it just becomes a part of us that we accept and are hopefully responsible with. As a single guy, it does take away some of our "manliness" which hurts pretty bad, and like women, it makes us feel a little less desirable and a little more insecure. As an already married man, though? Your husband is going to be just fine. He has a woman who loves him and in life there is no greater feeling or accomplishment that a man can earn.

[lossofwords]

Thank u every1 for ur inputs an support..