Too soon to disclose that I have herpes?

[Yadira]

Hi all!

 

Need some advice -I saw an old flame over Christmas and he expressed really wanting to try again. I've known him for 15 years and have confidence in him. Should I go ahead and tell him or should I wait? I want to make sure he understands that even though I've tested positive, I've never had any issues with having HSV2. And I'm ready with all the facts I've learned about it.

 

Is it too soon to tell him?? I would love to date him but I'm nervous!

[WCSDancer2010]

Yadira..

 

There is no "perfect" time. I've tried early disclosure and waiting right up until the clothes are coming off and I can't say one is better or worse than the other. A lot depends on when you *think* they are ready to hear it and when you can TRUST them with being vulnerable.

 

Whatever you do, have the disclosure info with you. Read all the disclosure posts that you can on here so you have some idea of what you want to say.

 

Here are some to start with:

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2034/oral-hsv2-very-confusing-symptoms-anyone-else#Item_2 Successful Disclosure

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2056/semi-success-i-dont-know-just-read-it-#Item_19 Casual Sex Successful Disclosure

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2022/successful-herpes-disclosure-thanks-to-this-site#Item_7

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1793/i-did-it-i-had-the-herpes-talk#Item_7

 

And make sure you tell him first that you really want to get to know him but you have to clear some stuff up because you want to have a transparent, HONEST relationship with him. Starting on that note puts you in control and helps them see that you have their interests and well being at heart.

 

Good luck!

[mr_hopp]

15 years of a past together, you have confidence in him (does that mean you trust him to hear you and support your heart?) ... It sounds like a great opportunity to bring the relationship closer and have the talk if you feel the foundation of trust and closeness is already there.

 

And if there is hesitation and you want to wait to have the talk until you see that you do want to take it further with him again, you can take it slow, too. Having the herpes talk isn't something to rush into ... It's something that comes when you feel that the relationship deserves to be taken deeper. If the hesitation is because you think having the talk with him will have him reject you, notice where you might be putting your attention. Is your attention on possible rejection, or is your attention more on all of the wonderful things that have you wanting to disclose to him in the first place? (You've read the e-book, right? http://eepurl.com/b4IPP )

 

And I'm excited for you! I noticed a little bit of sweet butterflies in my stomach as I read what you wrote! It sounds like it's a good kind of nervousness you got goin' on there. ;)

[Yadira]

You always give great advice! Thanks!

[Yadira]

@adrial I really do trust him and I can see a future with him. I want to disclose to him because I want him to know everything about me at this point. Nervous butterflies :-) I guess I will see how the day goes and if the situation is right I may want to do it but no need to rush I guess.