Feeling numb.

[Klopz]

Hi everyone!

Sooo I dont know exactly where to start so I guess im just going to go at it. I feel tired of so many things that have gone wrong in my life. when i feel like things are finally looking up something happens to take that away. I understand that life will always challenge me, but I am just ready to be happy. I just found out today that I have hsv2, but my story began a year ago. Last year exactly around this time i met this guy. He was the kind that never wanted a serious relationship and although I knew that I allowed my feelings to get involved. He and I dated (unofficially) slowly things did become more serious and when i finally decided to talk to him about making it something more he got scared and ran. I was heartbroken and so sad about it, but i got through it. Finally after 6 months of not seeing or hearing from him I felt better. However he suddenly came back. He apologized for how he treated me the first time and asked if I would give him a second chance. I happily said yes, because even after 6 months I still constantly thought of him. We agreed on taking things slow and making things work. Well eventually we ended up having sex and shortly after I had what I was sure was a beakout. I told him right away that i was worried that it was herpes and that i wanted to wait to have sex until i found out if it was or wasnt. He was very understanding, and supportive. Even went to the doctor with me. He said that if i did have it that it wouldnt change how he felt about me and that together we would find out if we could make it work and if we couldnt then we would make a decision of if we would stay together or not. The next day after my doctors appt he had to leave town for a week and a half and this is where i am now. Hes been gone and will be back tomorrow. Im terrified that when he gets back and i tell him the results were positive hes going to be too scared to stay. I understand that there is only a 4% chance of him getting it from me when there is no beakout, but im afraid that the small percentage will be too much of a risk. I know that the answer im looking for no one will be able to give me except for him, but im so scared that if he cant stay then no one else will want me. I feel like I finally had what i wanted and this came up and will be losing it too. Before he left he was so positive and enocouraging, but since hes been gone ive heard a lot less and im just scared hes out. I also feel dumb that i am more worried about that than having herpes. I just need advice to stay positive and stories of people who have been through similar situations where things did work out. Or how it was handled if it didnt work out. I dont know what i want other than i want him to stay.. Im sorry for the long story. I hope someone can help and thank you all for the help.

[JustSmile]

Hi Klopz. Just a month ago i was in a similar situation! I was more terrified to tell my partner than i was about actually being diagnosed with herpes. It took me about 3 days after confirmation of what i already knew before i mustered up the courage to tell him. At first he was shocked and admitted he wasn't sure what to think, but after a few mins his toned changed and he was totally supportive. I was prepared for anger, sadness and maybe even a few things being said that would make me feel "dirty" (for lack of better term, there is nothing dirty about this virus) but instead he comforted me, told me he loved me, and that we would deal with this together. That was a little more then a month ago and we are still together and still happy at this point in time. (he went and got the blood test done just to know and his came back positive too. although he still hasnt had any physical symptoms yet, but he doesnt hold it against me)

So know that if he loves you, and wants to be with you, this stupid virus isn't going to be the reason he leaves :-) maybe it will even bring you guys closer?! Try to stay positive, esp when delivering the news! You have to love yourself first, remember that always! (in all situations!)

 

I'd love to know how it works out for you once you get through this! If you need to chat at any point in time feel free to private msg me.

[Klopz]

Hi JustSmile!

Thank you for your success story! Like i said before I told him aobut the symtoms and being worried that it was something more serious. He was very supportive the entire time even the next day by going with me to the dr, but since hes been away my insecurities of having this virus have been killing me. I try to tell myself that i am probably over thinking everything and that hes only being distant because, well, hes on vacation. I am just scared that he will let go. Especially after all we went through and all. I just dont want to go through this heartbreak again, and i hope that if he doesnt have it he doesnt get scared and run again. THANK YOU SO MUCH JUSTSMILE! Hopefully things will work out and I'll have good news!

[WCSDancer2010]

@Justsmile AND @Klopz:

 

First, Welcome to the forum... glad to meet you!

 

Klpoz - you Do know that there is a really, really good chance that your fella gave it to you, don't you? Given that you had an outbreak a few days after you had sex again...

 

You need to get informed before you talk to him if you can - because he needs to get tested AND he needs someone to explain to him that he could have been carrying and not had an OB (OR, not told you he had it ... it's quite possible he may have known or thought he had it and thought he couldn't pass it on without an OB ... many people are under that misconception so they think they don't have to disclose as long as they avoid sex during an OB)

 

Have you read the handouts and ebbok Adrial has provided?

 

Handouts:

http://bit.ly/h-opp-diagnosis-handout

http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout

 

Disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

Justsmile:

 

Same for you - your partner may have already had herpes...not that it matters now...but there are so many silent carriers .... so glad to hear how positive he was when you disclosed to him :)

 

(((HUGS))) to you both!

[Klopz]

WCSDancer2010

Hi and Thank you for the support! I have read the handouts and disclosure ebook. I guess the reason why I don't think he gave it to me is because the dr said I was a "low positive" she explained that there was a low count of the cells that fight off the virus but it was too high to be a negative. Have you ever heard anything like that? Also the doc said that the chances of me have gotten it from him were low, because it had been so recent that he and I had sex. The doctor did confuse me a little, but he did go and get tested. He also went withe to my doctors appointment. I got my results before he did only because he's out of town.

[WCSDancer2010]

Hmmm - our Dr_H_Positive may explain it better but I am still suspicious... many many people have their very first OB within a few days of their first exposure/contraction of the virus. And "low positive"? What were your numbers? You *may* have been just starting to build enough antibodies for them to get a positive result if you were recently exposed.

 

It will be interesting to see his numbers if he is positive too - I'm guessing they will be higher if he has it and that may well be your answer BUT it is so hard to know for sure. In the end, you got it and in the long run it won't matter where you got it from...right now it's more a matter of knowing if you need to practice extra protection or not ;)

 

(((HUGS)))