My herpes story

[bookworm21]

I got the herpes from a guy that was much older than me. I was 19 and he was 33. I had been so "sheltered" I guess that I didn't even think about it. We only hooked up twice. I was caught up in the moment and didn't make him use a condom. Even though I went and got plan B the next day, I never thought about getting tested. I was at the point where I thought that the worst thing that could happen was an unexpected pregnancy. Boy was I wrong. We hooked up again about a week and a half later. I had been in pain but I thought it was just pain from the last time we had sex. Sex the second time was just too painful for me though. The next day I discovered the blister. I sobbed for a few days and then went to urgent care when I couldn't go to the bathroom without wanting to scream. I still remember the pain from the swab as the worst pain I've ever been in. I was crying so hard during the exam that the dr prescribed me some intense pain relievers. I cried for the first few weeks about how unfair life was.

 

When I first contacted the man that gave it to me I just mentioned that I was going to the dr. He wanted to know what was wrong and acted concerned. When I told him what was going on he said his ex may have given something to him and he was sorry. After the diagnosis was confirmed I got ahold of him again. He began to deny everything and in turn blamed me for giving it to him. I had done the research and knew that this was my first outbreak. It matched the timeframe and everything. After a few more outbreaks I know for sure that was my first. They all come with the same symptoms and unbearable pain.

 

Right after it happened I actually got a little more promiscuous, just with the wrong kinds of guys. These past few months I've come to realize that most of the guys who are ok with having sex with me right away (especially the ones who still don't want to use protection) are not the guys I need in my life. It's been a hard lesson to learn. As the first few guys accepted the herpes, I thought they were doing me a favor. I mean, I was damaged goods. Who would want to be with someone like that? It's been a hard road to realize that I am worth so much more than that. I don't want to just hook up and have sex anymore. I don't want to risk their health and mine. I'm not willing to risk my emotions for a quick hookup that may feel good at the time, but five minutes after I'm going to regret it and resent the person I was with.

 

Even though it's been a very long journey here (over two years now) I am looking at this as a new starting point. I am reaching out for the help and support I should have long ago. I'm going to give the same support to other people and work through this. After all, if so many wonderful people on here are going through the same thing, how can I tell myself I'm awful for having it?

[WCSDancer2010]

@bookworm

 

Amen Sista!

 

So sorry about the lesson you learned with the man who gave it to you - the fact that the tried to blame YOU after he admitted he likely KNEW his ex had given him "something" shows you why she was his Ex.... who knows what he blamed her for that wasn't her fault ... I find that how people discuss their Ex's tells me a LOT about how they would likely talk about me if we didn't work out...and THAT tells me a lot about them in general :p

 

Yes - you are right, as I keep saying, H will help you sort out the guys who are into YOU from the guys who want to get INTO you. You don't need the guys who are ok with "damaged goods" because that means THEY are damaged goods... unable or unwilling to give or receive love because they don't love themselves either. Good for you for realizing that you are worth a LOT more than that :)

 

Glad to have you join us... I think you are going to fit in quite well here :)

 

(((HUGS)))

[bookworm21]

Oh I know! Looking back I should have had much better judgement, but alas I was a 19 year old with stars in her eyes. Tough lessons are the ones that stick with you though. I'm better for it in the end. I could have gone on and gotten something much, much worse.

 

I'm glad to be joining you! I hope to one day meet some of you in person. It would be interesting dinner conversation for sure! Just imagine the faces of those who listen in :D

 

:)

[WCSDancer2010]

I was 17 with stars in my eyes when I got mine ... from the first guy I was ever with. Yeah - I hit the jackpot with that one. And people wonder why I don't gamble :p

 

And I am TOTALLY up for that dinner conversation :)

[victoriaxxx]

Dude. I don't know who gave it to me, but I had one thing on my mind. ;D

&& that wasn't stars in my eyes.

 

Yeah that would be great. Everyone would probably look at all of us if we are in the resturaunt, like what a bunch of "whack jobs" hahaahaha. We are just happy people.

[WCSDancer2010]

When we have that convo I want Herry with us ... and someone video taping the whole scene. :))

[victoriaxxx]

Oh my gosh, it will be like a comedy show.

[bookworm21]

Haha we need shirts and every thing! "Herpes party for ten?" I can imagine them calling our reservation now.

 

Then we'll go gamble. :D

[WCSDancer2010]

Now THERE's a Double Dog Dare...when they ask for a name for the reservation....

 

"Herpes party for ten?"

 

Lets Doooo Iiiiitttt!

 

Can anyone tell I am on a totally silly roll today???? 8-}

[victoriaxxx]

Wooow. You guys !

[victoriaxxx]

I am literally hurting from how hard I am laughing right meow.

[HerryTheHerp]

Yes, I'll have a steak, mashed taters, a coke, and oh yeah, a side of herpes with my order, please.

 

Name the place, pick a date, I'm in. ;)

[victoriaxxx]

OMG.. I was watching this video the other day and I couldn't help but laugh at it though.

 

" Would you like a side order of Herpes with your fries !"

[bookworm21]

It would make a great coming out experiment. Pick a place we all can get to and just talk freely about it, including other people. I can see us as one of those Yahoo stories now… "Group of "positive" diners with HSV encourage entire restaurant to go get tested for STD's, local free clinic full".

 

Speaking of herpes in a positive light, has anyone seen the plush std toys? The herpes one is actually kind of cute. I can't post a picture of it on here.

[victoriaxxx]

Or a news article about all of use like that !! That would be great. We would walk around ... "You should all get tested, we will a GREAT HSV positive lifestyle. Come here for your free brochure on HSV ! "

[bookworm21]

YOU get a pamphlet and YOU get a pamphlet, EVERYONE gets a pamphlet!

 

Channelling my inner Oprah tonight.

[WCSDancer2010]

I *heart* you guys :)

[bookworm21]

We *heart* you too :)

 

Glad I could make you smile!

[victoriaxxx]

I <3 you too. (:

I <3 every single one of you !