the little freak outs that come with relationship... worried to spread herpes to my boyfriend

[childofstars]

l'll have mini panic attacks time to time thinking about my relationship before my current one and how he was infected with herpes by me... the names he called me, how much it hurts thinking i did that to him...the guilt still haunts me. Since me and my current boyfriend started having sex i wonder about all these things again. Back then with my previous boyfriend i had sex during an outbreak and didn't know any better.... now i do. But i still hurt thinking about what happened and how its possible again.... i love my boyfriend now more than i've ever loved someone and sometimes its scary.... anyone feel the same way? How do u cope?

[WCSDancer2010]

Awww - honey.....

 

Well, I think you know yourself this is an entirely different thing. You didn't know with the other guy and to be honest, I would say H did you a favor if he was that ugly with you when he got it. IMO ANYONE who name calls is not someone I want in my life. I won't take any abuse of any kind...verbal, emotional, or physical. I'm guessing the verbal abuse from the ex wasn't the first time he acted like that ...whether it was with you or anyone else...

 

So realize your BF is NOT your ex. Don't project onto your BF your experience with your ex. It's not fair to him.....

 

 

[victoriaxxx]

Oh hon. (: Just think about it. There is a guy out there who is with you. You know now what it is to do to take care of this. What precautions to take, and I am guessing you told your current boyfriend that you have it also.. I mean if he is aware then he is also aware of the small chance of getting it..

 

If your ex called you names and called it names be glad that he is out for your life !! Be glad that you are with someone new.. && She is right don't project your ex into this guy, because he isn't. He is a totally new guy. (:

 

I used to get my boyfriends ex projected into me all the time. When he was pissed he would always call me her name.. I am not her NOR will I ever be. I know it's not fair. (:

 

Keep your head up ! (:

[childofstars]

My boyfriend has hepatitis c, and sometimes he gets scared of being infected with two dieseases. He said hed probably feel like dying if it happened, and be very angry at both of us... But i know he wouldnt call me any names. It just feels like everything is against us sometimes....

[GreenEyes87]

Well he certainly should not be angry with you if he contracted herpes while with you. He is fully aware of your situation and is in the relationship in spite of it which means he accepts the possible risk. So while I can appreciate him wanting to be honest with you, I feel that him deciding he would be angry with you if the virus was transmitted is horrendously insensitive and probably why you can't seem to relax and enjoy him without panicking. If the two of you are careful and you are aware of your body the risk of transmission is incredibly low. Does he know this?

 

I also urge you to ask yourself, would you EVER have the heart to tell him you would be angry with him if you contracted hepatitis c from him? I would think not. Whether he intends it to be a threat or not, it is one, and it clearly lowers your self esteem and disheartens you. You should discuss that with him.

 

I am sorry your ex treated you so poorly. I know how that feels. And I am sorry you are struggling to settle comfortably into your current relationship. But communication is key!

 

Best of luck and lots of hugs to you!

[JMNOLA]

So beginning with your ex..the guy is obviously a jerk! Not trying to be mean here but if thats how he treated you after he contracted it he very well deserved what he got..just saying. Do not let this past experience affect your present. You know it amazes me how the herpes virus is viewed in our society. Truthfully, it really is not that big of a deal! Thankfully w/e I have an outbreak its just one sore and isnt really painful..its literally a coldsore(just down there lol). Now going to your current bf, hepatitis in general is life-threathening whereas herpes is not! Hes honestly lucky that you have stayed with him and should put his foot in his mouth before saying how he'd be mad at both you guys if he caught herpes.

[victoriaxxx]

Hep C is harder to get sexually though. It's more something that you get from sharing needles.. I have had my scare with Hep C..

 

But needless to say would get upset with him if he gave HEP to you ? There is a big chance on both sides. The difference is Hep can kill you and Herpes can't. That is not fair to you. You can't be relaxed and have a good time with him if you are constantly scared of giving it to him. You can't be relaxed if he says he would be upset if you gave it to him. That is not fair to you or to him.

 

Yeah if the guy that I am with told me that he would be upset if I gave it to him knowing that I have it. I would not want to stay with him, because we can take all the steps we want to keep him safe, but he knows that it is not 100% effective. He knows that there will always be a chance.. I feel like he does not have a right to be upset if HE KNOWINGLY takes that chance.

 

Life is a big chance itself.