Realizing I need to make some life changes, yet another confession.

[bookworm21]

I have heard time after time, Herpes will become your wingman. It will show you who you want in your life and who you don't. I've also heard that having herpes will make you much more susceptible to another STD. If you ready my story you will find that I didn't listen to either of those lessons. I ignored my new friend for the most part, disclosing but still being sexually active when someone said they didn't care. Combine that will drinking every once in awhile before being sexually active and where did it get me?

 

Another HUGE life lesson. Also known as Chlamydia. I was devastated and ashamed when a recent ER visit found I did not have the ovarian cysts that I thought, instead I had pelvic inflammatory disorder from contracting yet another STD. I beat myself up for it. How could I get another STD?? How could I be so stupid?? It was when I was crying in my darkened ER room and my nurse told me to stop being so ashamed and hold my head up, that I realized life was giving me another chance to change.

 

I am a huge believer in signs. I have also taken many classes on HIV and AIDS. It terrifies me. I think life keeps telling me that if I don't change, I WILL get something more serious.

 

So I am listening. And breathing. And taking my time. No more hookups for me, the thought of sex disgusts me right now. I know that is normal and I'm going to let that feeling keep me safe for right now. After being on this site I am willing to admit that I made another mistake. I haven't told many people and I don't plan to. I got the shot (right in the butt, ow) and I'm "OK" according to my doctors.

 

Hello wake up call, sorry I missed you the first time.

[WCSDancer2010]

Awww - ((HUGS))

 

Ya know, we are all a little slow sometimes .... I'm just thankful your second lesson was a curable one. So while you are in your celibate status, use that time to process why you needed to have those hook-ups? What was the driving force that make you ignore all the warnings and signs that maybe you needed to re-think what you want/need in relationships? I expect there is something deep belief within that needs to be addressed .... once you bring it to the light, address it and put it behind you, THEN Imma guessing that feeling of disgust will go away and you will be ready to start again...

 

Peace :)

[victoriaxxx]

(: This really gets to me.. I wanted to tell you about my walk with Chlamydea also.. I have an ovarian cyst also the size of a golf ball because of the STI.. I am not infertile luckily, but I could possibly not have kids because of this.. Which is really sad. I want to in my life.

 

Like she said we are all a little slow at times, I didn't learn my lesson the first 3 times I got the CH word.. Then this.. Herpes ? That was a huge wake up call. A wake up call for me to be more careful.. Hopefully a wake up call for a lot of people. <3

 

I am glad we are able to go through this walk together and to have learned the things that I know now !

[bookworm21]

Dancer, I am really taking the time to look at it myself. I'm also having very open and honest discussions with my best friends. I hope that they can learn the lesson from my lesson before it's too late. I'm encouraging them all to go get tested.

 

Victoria, I'm so glad that you learned it too! I'm a huge believer in signs, and this was the sign to me that I was headed on a really bad path. These next 2+ months of getting tested (without having any sex) are going to be rough ones full of waiting. I just need to know that I do't have anything else before trying a relationship. I really felt like the time I was on here I wasn't being 100% truthful about something. Now that I've admitted that I had it, I feel 1000% better. Not just in being on here, but also in life. I had a really eye opening conversation with one of my close friends, who has never been tested. He's agreed to go get tested :)

 

I'm also not sure what's going on with my "baby parts". I haven't made an appointment to see the dr yet, I'm trying a new one. I had went to the er the first time an entire month before they caught it. The dr did a whole bunch of other tests, but decided not to do a pelvic because to him I had an imaginary ovarian cyst that burst. My ovaries were clear at that point so he admitted that. If I lose my fertility because one doctor didn't want to "waste his time" I'm going to be furious…

 

I'm so glad to have both of you in my life now :) Thank you!

[victoriaxxx]

Awwwh. I am a huge believer in signs also. I just didn't realize that the CH sign was big enough. "At least I can get rid of it." I remember saying that all the time, but now I realize I was just lucky to be able to get rid of it, but that is was more harmful than I thought it was.. That it could turn into something worse if it was untreated.

 

I am glad the CH came back negative this time. Even though I came back positive with this.. It was a working process. It was a lesson learned. It was like.. " Hey stop being so stupid and use a condom and be careful."

Lolol. Like Dancer always says. (:

It is your wing man. I know it was mine.. I am glad I have you in my life also. (:

All of you. :3

[WCSDancer2010]

I had a really eye opening conversation with one of my close friends, who has never been tested. He's agreed to go get tested

 

That's awesome! I keep saying... One person. Once Conversation. One step at a Time :)

 

If I lose my fertility because one doctor didn't want to "waste his time" I'm going to be furious…

 

If you do... or you may need fertility treatment, I'd talk to a lawyer. There is NO excuse for a Dr to act like that except his own ego kicking in. Yes, they get people in the ER who are whack jobs but their first obligation is to figure out what is going on.

[bookworm21]

I'm thinking about contacting a lawyer soon anyways. I may get lucky in this case, but what if someone else doesn't? I've always wanted my own babies. I would be crushed if I couldn't have them. I had it long enough to warrant an er visit, and then at least a month after that. :/

 

Herpes is the best wing man I've had so far lol.

[victoriaxxx]

Exactly. Go to a lawyer, because that is not fair.