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Surprise herpes! Very confused...

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I was just diagnosed with genital HSV1 on January 1st (Happy New Year...).


Everyone else I've known that has any kind of herpes usually has a pretty cut and dry story. They had sex with someone new, a week later herpes popped up.


I don't know where mine came from, and it's driving me crazy! I've been in a relationship for the past 3 years with the same person. Beginning of December, a bump appeared down there, but it disappeared within a week and just went away so I didn't think much of it. Then, mid December I thought I had cut myself shaving...noticed a couple bumps in the spot a few days later...jokingly accused my boyfriend of giving me herpes...more bumps showed up the next week, long story short, ends up it IS herpes. (after a month of non-related stress and sickness, guess it was a good opportunity.)


I know I haven't done anything outside of our relationship, and he SWEARS he hasn't either. I don't just 'believe' him...I checked EVERYTHING for facts, lol. And I'm coming up with no indication that he's cheated. So it would have to be that one of us has had it for a while? It's just hard to make sense of that still to me. I know it's possible, but is it likely to happen? How often does something like that really happen? Where it lays dormant for years and years and then someone gets it? He's getting the blood test done next week, and I follow up with my doctor then, too. But I'm reading everything I can about transmission and percentages and chances and at times that makes it even more confusing. He claims he's never even had a cold sore ever...is there a way to tell WHERE he carries it if it ends up his test is positive?


Before this relationship, I was with my ex-husband for four years prior, and we never had anything come up like this and I also went through a prenancy during that time...with all the hormonal changes and stress that comes with that, if I had been the one "carrying" herpes, wouldn't I have had an outbreak at that time? Is it more likely that my current boyfriend carried it (he's never had any sympoms) and JUST NOW gave it to me, 3 years later??? We've never really used protection during sex so nothing has changed there.


I know there might not be any answers, but like I said it's hard to make sense of it. And I hate thinking about all the possibilities. But I'm an anxious person and feel like I have to solve things so I can't help it. I'm also really scared that me constantly stressing and trying to figure it out is going to make them come back...


Anyways, that's my story. The posts I've browsed through here seem to have some really good information so I just wanted to join and read about others' experiences and maybe get some insight based on that.

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Well first it does not mean he cheated on you. If you were diagnosed with HSV1 It is someting he could've had orally since childhood. I have HSV1 oral and I can't remember the last time I had a cold sore. Its been atleast 4 or 5 years. So yes it is possible that during oral sex he transmitted HSV1 to you genitally unknowingly.


I do believe that if you got it from him than he already has the anitbodies for it and you wont transmit it back to him (but ill let one of the more informed members here confirm that?) From what i've read HSV1 tends to prefer the northern regions of the body so in time your OBs should become less frequent and less severe.


The only way to know for sure if by his test results. But you've come to the right place. Everyone here is absolutely wonderful. Welcome :-)



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Thanks! I'd be very surprised if his test came back negative. It just seems like there's been plenty of opportunity in the past for the herpes to make their appearance if I was the one carrying it this whole time. So in my head it makes more sense that I would have gotten it from him, although I don't understand why it took 3 years and not 3 weeks to catch.

This is a complete mindfxck.

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I have no idea! lol I have HSV2 and it came from one of two people.


If #1- i went 6-8 months before having an outbreak. We broke up in March and I had my OB in november


if #2- (my current relationship) it took 4 months before i knew it. we started dating in july. not so much as an itch for 4 months, then BOOM!


Either way there is no exact science to it. Although i wish there was. Even being in an accepting relationship already, sometimes i just wish i knew. Either way. But it is what it is at this point.

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Venomous Kitten? Well, I guess that's better than poisonous pussy, huh? You know, with all the great screen names everyone's coming up with it's starting to sound like a biker gang in here. "Hi, I'm Stinging Snatch." "Oh, hi. I'm Blistery Bollocks." Yeah, we're gonna be cooler than the Hells Angels. We'll even have patches.


Welcome to Herpes! It can show up immediately, it can show up years later, it can never show up. It's a nasty li'l bugger because of that. Is it possible you've had it for years? Oh, yes, and it's quite common. In fact, there are quite a few people in this forum who had it show up for the first time years after they acquired it. Only a handful of us showed symptoms immediately.


You have genital HSV1, and that's a lot less active than genital HSV2. It settles down considerably when it's not in it's normal environment, and genital HSV1 infections are on the rise. It's not surprising as about 70% of the US has it in their mouths, and well, about 100% of the US likes to have oral sex. Guess we all should have paid more attention to our mothers who were constantly warning us about what we put in our mouths throughout our childhoods.


So, if you and your ex, or you and your current boyfriend had oral sex and they had HSV1 and you didn't, well, that's how you got it. Not as big a mystery as you think. Of course, you may have gotten it even before you met your husband, but you didn't say anything about that so I'm going to assume you were wearing Lilly white on your wedding day and went into the bridal chamber saying "please be gentle, I've never done this before.";)


It's also possible your boyfriend has HSV1 and doesn't know it, or doesn't remember. I haven't had a cold sore in 20 years. But, simply statistically speaking, there's a really good chance he already has it and just isn't aware.


I wouldn't be scared of anything. Like I said, since it's HSV1 (I'm assuming your diagnosis included a type testing to confirm that), and you haven't seen it before, well, it's a safe bet to say it's not going to cause you too many problems.


I also wouldn't stress over finding answers. Don't, don't, don't get accusatory with your boyfriend. This thing is a relationship wedge, and it's not that big of a deal, especially HSV1. My advice: don't make it a big deal, and it won't be one.

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LOL...I honestly did not even THINK to that aspect of the name when I wrote it...it's something else kinda random, but that's hilarious.


I didn't wear white at my wedding, but it's the pregnancy thing that bothers me I guess. It should've shown up then, due to hormone changes and whatnot IF I had had it previously, from my past. lol. This is what's convincing me I just got it from him, moreso than I'm the one that had it. And I can accept the fact that he's possibly had it FOREVER and it never showed up, but then WHY DID IT TAKE SO LONG FOR ME TO GET IT???? lol.


I want this to thing to play by my rules. lol. Then I want answers! :P


Hopefully, it isn't frequent because I'm sure I'm gonna play through all the scenarios in my head every time an outbreak happens. haha

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HSV1 and HSV2 are slippery li'l buggers. You can catch them the first time you're exposed, years later, or even never. There are couples who have never shared this great gift, never used condoms, had lots of oral, and just win the lottery each and every time. I met one woman who got it from her husband after 30 years of marriage, kids, the whole shebang. And, like everyone else, she didn't even realize it was possible to have genital HSV1 until it happened. Chalk that up to a major oversight by American sex ed teachers.


We all want herpes to play by the rules. The problem is there are no rules. The li'l punk likes to play dirty. He even cheats at Monopoly. That's why you've got to play dirty with it and show it who's the boss. Speaking of which, I hear even Alyssa Milano has it down there.


It most likely won't be a regular companion. HSV1 has a pretty solid reputation as a quiet roommate down below. Not always the case, but most often. And, when it does come out to play, it's much milder than 2 ever is.

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Welcome to the Forum!


I want this to thing to play by my rules. lol. Then I want answers!


Lesson #1 from Mr H..... sometimes there are no "rules" - or at least they are not in your hands.


Lesson #2 from Mr H ..... Rules/Schmules. He doesn't play by them anyway. I have a client who had her first OB after 32 years of marriage. Yeah...Mr H is a sneaky little bugger.... :p


I had 2 daughters while carrying Herpes and neither time did I have an OB that I can remember during pregnancy - plenty before and after. And as mentioned, your guy could have had H1 oral as a kid and not known it. Only the blood tests will tell.


Either way, whats done is done. Time to learn everything you can, get your BF's status, then figure out between you how you want to proceed.


(((HUGS))) ... you will be fine...promise :)

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Thank you! :)


My sister actually has HSV2, and her first outbreak was way milder than mine...she had like 2 or 3 bumps, and I ended up with like 10 when it was all said and done. And ends up, I had a UTI and BV on top of it...which I'm not sure if that's a result of the herpes showing up, or the cause?? lol


There's sooooo many different stories, and so much conflicting information. When I went in to be seen, even one of the nurses told me that 'you can't pass it if you don't have sores'.


I never had any idea that you could have it without knowing; I always figured its source was obvious. And I always figured you got it RIGHT AWAY after being with someone who had it.


That's crazy about the pregnancy stuff, too!


I'm eagerly awaiting next week to see what his results are. The more you know, I suppose.


I've dealt with a couple other skin conditions, which were irritating but manageable, but at least with those I'm able to pinpoint what brings it about. This herpes thing is just so, so odd. lol

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Oh my effing GAWD... I wanna SCREAM sometimes at the IDIOCY of so many health care professionals!


Normally I'd say take some of Adrials handouts to her (which I would do anyway and ask them to pass them out to anyone witt a recent diagnosis) BUT, in this case i would say print this out from the CDC (because she's in the medical profession I'd advise giving her something that they consider legit as they don't know us and may not trust a non-medical site)




Highlight and underline the part that says


How do people get genital herpes?

Infections are transmitted through contact with lesions, mucosal surfaces, genital secretions, or oral secretions. HSV-1 and HSV-2 can also be shed from skin that looks normal. In persons with asymptomatic HSV-2 infections, genital HSV shedding occurs on 10% of days, and on most of those days the person has no signs or symptoms. [4] Generally, a person can only get HSV-2 infection during sexual contact with someone who has a genital HSV-2 infection. Transmission most commonly occurs from an infected partner who does not have a visible sore and may not know that he or she is infected. [5]


Regarding vaccines:


They were working on it in the 80's when HIV came out and took all the STD funding for almost 30 years. Because HPV can cause cancer, it got the second shot. Herpes is just starting to get some funding and attention again... some of us here are working on making it big enough news that they will HAVE to start to do better around research, education, Training doctors, and changing the public stigma.



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By the time I heard that, I'd already done a lot of reading so knew that wasn't exactly the case, but it was just like...you're supposed to be the healthcare professional here? Because it didn't seem like they really had ALL the facts. Or at least clarified them to me.


I'm following up with my actual OB/GYN doctor so hopefully, she has more expertise in the area!

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Speaking of vaccines, let's also point out that Dr. Fraser who created the Gardasil HPV vaccine has a Herpes vaccine going into phase ii right now. Let's hope he hits another home run! I honestly think he's going for Jonas Salk status and wouldn't be hyping it if there wasn't something very positive about the results they've seen in the lab. He's already got a great reputation and wouldn't want to jeopardize that with a vaccine that wasn't very promising.


Yeah, stick to this forum for facts and reality. The reality is that many of us here know more about herpes than most of the doctors and trained professionals. Certainly more than the sex ed teachers.

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Interesting....I got my HPV vaccine! If it's herpes and chickenpox are related, you wouldn't think there's some big mystery to solve about the vaccine. Since that one's been figured out. lol. But what do I know, I am not a vaccine manufacturer.


I don't even know that I've ever been tested for herpes. The two times I was pregnant, I'm pretty sure it was just "have you or your partner ever had them" question, and I said no and they leave it at that. Adding more mystery to the situation now. ugh.

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When i went to my GYN my original Dr was out, so i saw a colleague of hers (after treating myself for what i thought was a yeast infection that wouldn't go away and needed a RX) She asked if i was in a new relationship and i said yes. She asked if i would like to be tested since i was already there... of course i said yes. SO she swabbed me & took my blood (at this time i still didnt think i had herpes. I read online that severe yeast infections could cause blisters or cuts again google = crap) She told me that I had BV (which i did) and I sat up.


"so what all am i getting tested for?" she responded "all the usual suspects, Chlamydia, Ghonneria, syphillis, and HIV"

"what about Herpes and HPV? "


well your last Pap came back fine so we arent worried about HPV (mind you i had high grade cancer cells 5 years ago and had part of my cervix removed, so you would think she'd be more willing to not blow me off here) and we dont test for herpes unless you have symptoms.


At this point i was so mad, i said well i know i have a few bumps down there. Why dontcha take a look at em!


the entire time she was sabbing me, she didnt even SEE them! Once I brought it to her attention she swabbed then and also took another vile of blood. She said "oh yeah it does look like you have herepes. Heres a prescription. Take these twice a day and ill call you as soon as i can verify with your test results. IF its not herpes these pills wont hurt you"


Needless to say, from now on, i will wait for MY Dr.

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See that's the same thing I read about yeast infections, but with me I had the bumps show up first and then it started hurting and burning when I peed after the fact, and that's when I went in- to emergency actually. Two trips it took to get it ALL figured out. They weren't really thorough the first time at all. Just basically threw me some Valtrex and said goodbye.


I really thought that the bumps were maybe the start of some kind of yeast infection or a skin infection from shaving or something since they weren't really the thing bothering me; just they were suspicious looking and the fact they spread the way they did.

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Yeah I had a sepperate doctor than my own. I could feel the bumps down there and the whole time she was like " I don't see anything." I said obviously there is something down there, because I can feel the little things..


I was making it specific that I WANT MY DR. The doctor that I had my whole entire life. He was my first everything, but she took me down to get my blood tested for Herpes specifically and told me that I should get tested for everything else just so I know..


I got the Gardisal shot, but I know that there is still a chance of me getting it. I was just irritated when the lady called me telling me THAT I WAS NEGATIVE FOR EVERYTHING.. Then I looked at my tests on My Chart.. && I saw Pos for HSV-2... Okay first off how did you miss that? How did you tell me neg for everything. I was so mad !

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It was a long two weeks to say the least. But i had all the classic yeast infection symptoms (atleast what i read online and was told. I've never had any issues down south prior to this. so i just took a friends words for it when i explained the symptoms to her and got OTC meds) The bumps didnt show up until i finished the OTC treatment. So im not sure if i did infact have a yeast infection first which brought it on or if it was just all part of my first OB.


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Yeah I actually thought mine was a cyst.. I was reading that if it was just one bump then it is most likely a cyst.. I even asked my mom and she asked me what my symptons were and she was like " NO that is not herpes, Herpes feel different."


I went to the doctor anyways because of my boyfriend... I had a gut feeling it was, but I was hoping it was something else. I talked to my dad about it on the way to the doctor how I thought I might have herpes.. && he was there for me, and he was able to tell me that if it is, I would still find a good mad.. But even the doctor lady said it is probably a cyst that was underneath the skin. Well I was wrong and so was she.

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Yeah, there was the UTI, BV, and on top of it, I was just getting over bronchitis and possibly walking pneumonia. It's just that I don't know if I was so sick and run down with everything that that's when the symptoms showed up for the first time...or if that's why I *caught* it for the first time...from my boyfriend...who would've had it forever, apparently...


I always hated the fact he'd never been tested, but chalked it up to being "okay" because I was wayyyy more promiscuous in the past than he has been. lol. So I figured HE was "safe" if I, myself, had seemingly escaped my journeys unscathed.


Didn't look like the google pics of herpes though. I even sent pics to my sister (who has HSV2), and she couldn't tell because it wasn't like hers.


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