I Never Imagined a Life Less Lived

[TurquoiseSeas]

My life could be a made for TV movie with the less..unsavory details censored. I was a 17 year old girl who thought I was in love. Not only did the guy break my heart repeatedly and strung me along for a few years, he also gave me the gift that keeps on giving. HSV-2. Being the young girl I was I suffered quietly thinking it was a UTI or anything other than what it actually was until the agony didn't go away. About 4 years after my horrifying initial outbreak I tested negative. But after repeated episodes, I figured that test had to be a false negative and just this past November I decided I was officially ready to know the truth after what seemed like a 4 month long string of recurring outbreaks. I needed serious relief. Instead of the dated culture, I was given a blood test. After 48 hours I had my official diagnosis of what I had known to be true and a plan to keep my outbreaks at bay. I hoped I would be a lucky person and not get outbreaks often...wrong again! They consistently came every two months at first, the longest I'd gone was 5 months without an outbreak, and ever since joining the dating scene in 2012, there are times I'd see them every month, every two weeks, or back to back. I guess dating really is stressful. :-P Every website says it gets better as time progresses...not so in my case! Top that off with Rheumatoid Arthritis (diagnosed when I was 11) and you have a very uncomfortable situation.

 

I'm normally so much fun, I'm upbeat, and optimistic. But lately I've been feeling down and I feel like I've just turned into a complaining, bitter, 27 almost 28 year old hag. In all actuality, I love who God made me and this thing I'm dealing with will not keep me down. Now I'm happy to know I have a place to express my frustrations and begin to cultivate a much healthier love for myself. :-)

[WCSDancer2010]

@TurquoiseSeas

 

Welcome my friend!

 

I got the gift at 17 too ... I'm 52 and it's been a long ride but it's got better over time. I've gone through a few spells where the OB's came fast and furious too .. it *should* get better with time.

 

However, you have an auto-immune disease that you are dealing with - I assume you are on drugs to suppress your immune system? If so, that could be why you are having such a hard time with OB's. Are you on anti-virals to help keep the Herpes under control?

 

I would talk to your Rhumatologist about the issue between controlling the RA and the Herpes and see if they have any ideas.

 

Peace and (((HUGS)))

[dreamingofsomeone167]

Welcome @Turquise. This is a wonderful site with great people for support and love. It's so nice to come somewhere that everyone knows how your feel and what you are going through. If you have a bad day you can vent and we all still love you! I too am "lucky" enough to have constant OB's just as you do. I finally went on anti- virals last August. I still have OB's but they are not as long or as intense (about 6-7 since then and I can link at least 2 to extreme stress and 1 to too much sugar for my birthday).

 

I can attest that since coming to this site it has helped me love myself and accept myself more than ever. Keep up the positive thoughts :-)

[TurquoiseSeas]

Thank you all for your responses!!!

 

To Dancer - because of the cost of treating RA I haven't seen a Rheumatologist since I was 18. :-\ I'm pretty lucky because I only have mild RA right now but I'm not on any form of medication for it. My only prescription drug is Acyclovir. I plan on eventually getting a doc for my RA since I do have insurance (I didn't have insurance for a while). I see we are in the same boat with significant and seventeen! I assume he was the first guy you had ever been with as well?

 

To Dreaming - Thank you for the reassurance! I'm sorry it took so long for me to respond back but A LOT has gone on in the past week that I'll probably share momentarily, since I do need someone to talk to about it. I'm keeping the positive thoughts up! I'm also trying to share them with others! :-D

 

[WCSDancer2010]

Yup - it was my first time too. I got HSV1 as a young child too...suffice it to say I don't gamble...LOL :p

[Amillionthings]

Hey @turqoiseseas....just read your post. So just a note to say sorry you're feeling low, i feel like a bitter old hag sometimes too..lol! It's ok...we're not old...or a hag...and everyones allowed to feel bitter sometimes :) hope u feel better soon x

[Amillionthings]

Oh and this site is so good isn't it...its like therapy ha!... and share away... you got support whenever youre ready :)