dreamingofsomeone167

Yes, he has H also but he is unsure if it's 1 or 2, that is why I want him to get tested. We had discussed a lot about being honest and open at all times when getting to know each other. With him having young children we need to tread lightly bringing anyone new into their lives. We are in the 48-51 age group so playing games isn't anything I am interested in and he's in the same boat. I believe he would have disclosed when I said I was ready to move to the next level. He did say "ya that was something I was going to need to bring up". He also said that he had been careful in previous relationships and not passed it on from what he knew (ie no calls after the fact). He acquired from someone who didn't disclose to him, like most of us, so my gut tells me he would always disclosed. From my limited experience disclosing, I tend not to until I feel a true genuine connection and that this person is worth my greatest gift of my body. I don't do causal hookups, just not in my dna, but that's fine for other (ie no judgement here). I have known him casually for 15 years and he has always been the kindest most considerate person. ☺

I finally disclosed to the man I have been seeing the last 3 months. Initially I told him we needed to go slow but not why. He knew I had lost my husband a few years ago so probably assumed that the reason. He is a very busy single dad so we don't always get to spend a lot of time time together. We got lucky on Friday night and I had him over for dinner. The end of the night was a lot of heavy petting but I didn't want to disclose then. I think I was feeling selfish and wanted enjoy the time, just in case he wasn't cool with my H2 status. We already had a Saturday date planned and that was when I had planned to tell him. At the end of the night I explained that I really liked him but if we were to moved forward with a physical relationship there was something he needed to know. I told him that I carry the virus for genital herpes and he would need to decide if he wanted to be physical with me. He smiled at me and said " so do I, I'm not afraid of it". He said he was going to need to let me know of his status. I said I guess I made "the talk" for you a lot easier , lol. Wow, didn't see that coming. I still rattled off stats, I'm on daily anti virals. He wasn't sure if he's 1 or 2 but with my description he thought it was probably 2 because he's ob's are genital. I still want him to get tested. Regardless of him having it or not, it's still a disclosure that is uncomfortable but as responsible adults we need to have. Again, I thank you everyone on this site for the support, encouragement, love (including the tough love), information, etc. This site has helped me love myself and get to a point where I am comfortable with my H2 and be vulnerable and share. Newbies, we've all been where you are and it's hard to imagine disclosing, but it does get a little easier each time (for me at least). Have a great day everyone ☺

I usually call a friend and they will lift my spirits ☺

Good luck @inspired keeping fingers crossed for you! I'll be doing the same thing

That last sentence was wishing for casual sex, lol. Don't know what happened, stupid tablet. I am not in Wisconsin, in California so I may be a little far away. Stay strong, do things you enjoy, be happy with yourself. It's taken me a long time to get there and I still have my insecurities. Glad the H community is here for all of us. Big (((hugs))), take care

Hi @ wiwino, The first few months or year after diagnosis is very tough. You are coming to terms with how different your life is going to be, maybe beating yourself up for not being as careful as you should have been. I'm sorry you have lost friends. Sometimes we just need time to be mad, sad, grieve. I think people who don't know what you are going thru don't always know how to act and can't understand what you are going thru. They think you should be over whatever it is. I ran into this after my husband passed away. People think "it's been over a year you should be fine". It's a life changing even just like acquiring H that changes you to the core. I am slowly dipping my toe in the dating scene. I understand what you say about not having that zeal. I'm guessing for me it's the dreaded disclosure I know has to happen so I don't let myself get excited just to possibly be let down. I am hopeful the person i am seeing is a real man who can weight the facts and realize i am worth it. But like you I am a funking awesome person that someone would be an idiot to pass up.I too am not to the level of coming out on FB like Dancer and others. None of us are the people we were before H. I know I am a better person, more accepting of things people have or go thru. I get to really know someone before I sleep with them and vice versa. Don't get me wrong, I still wish occasionally for causal see

Wonderful post, thanks. We all need to keep hearing the success stories so we know there are real people out there who see the real person in each of us, not the stigma.

I still tend to get my original prodomes, sore right knee, lower back pain, constipation, and night before OB I tend not to sleep well. That being said, it does sneak up on me like it did on Saturday morning. I usually get my OB'S on the right side ,but the last two times it's switched things up on me and been on the left. Maybe I might have felt prodomes, but I'm so in turned to my right side I might missed the left side. I have tried lowering my dosage from 500mg to 250mg but I'm going back to 500mg because I'm experiencing minor ob's. I'm 48 and have had gas 2 for 25 yrs. Good luck ☺

Great articles Carlos, thanks for sharig. Best wishes for an awesome 2015!

Hi @livenlearn, I have hsv2 and prescribed 500mg valtex/day in Aug 2013 (have had H for 25 yrs). The 1st year on the meds I had 8 ob's, which for me was a drastic improvement. I can say 2 were from nerves disclosing, too much sugar for another and surgery for another. I am not in a relationship and thinking of weaning off too. I want to see how bad/frequent I will got ob's and if I should go back. At 48, my hormones are kinda weird and I believe that's what's caused my more frequent ob's than when I was young. I haven't noticed any side affects after being on this long. The 1st week on I was VERY tired but that went away as my body adjusted. Good luck

Oh @jessika, I'm sorry to hear about your ob. I know that feeling like you can move forward and then boom, H is back. Just try to be kind to yourself, put yourself 1st. Bump your supplements if you take them, rest, get back to eating well ( I know, hard during the holidays. Ate my share of sweets in the last week and crossing my fingers no ob). You will get thru this. (((Hugs)))

Oh @kate33, get out of that relationship. You deserve someone who loves and truly cares for you. It can be hard to leave and change is scary, but you must do it. Don't worry about someone right now,take time to heal and love yourself before going down that path. About disclosing, I was as scared as anyone. I felt for sure I never could as I am very shy and can be insecure. Due to all the wonderful success stories on here I was able to. Although the relationship didn't work out (not sure H was an issue or not) the disclosure was SO freeing. You just know you did the right thing in disclosing so they can make an informed decision. Wish you strength as you move forward to living an incredible life.

Just wanted to say how I love your positive attitude!

23 genital

Hi Cynthia, I agree with with @ liven learn ' s list. Nuts are the biggest thing and sugar for me. I too am on daily suppressive for hsv2 that I've had for 25 yrs. Menopause with it's weird hormone fluxuations have driven me to the daily suppressives. Good luck