Jump to content
  • Want to be a part of a supportive community? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum! We are a supportive and positive group to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have. Get your free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

What should I do? And other pessimistic thoughts.

Recommended Posts

Long story short I felt an irritation and finally looked at myself in a mirror. Proceeded to google image and self diagnosed myself with H. I went straight to the doctor as I need to try and be an adult about this (I'm 27) and deal with it. Didn't get the official diagnosis but doc says it looks like I'm right. Although she mentioned it didn't look exactly like what she's used to and there's a chance of some kinda of skin infection. Or both. Joy. Waiting on the results from the culture. Still she gave me some valtrex which btw does anyone know if you can drink alcohol while on this prescription? What about cold meds? Anyway, I'm devastated . I'm already a pessimist with a panic disorder so I'm having so much trouble seeing this getting better. And even if I do start to feel better right now I just want to cry for days. Ugh, I'm not sure if this is my first outbreak or not. And about a week ago I had unprotected sex with a male and a female. They are a couple and also friends and now I'm wondering if I should tell them about this new development that I had no clue about. Just feeling doomed. And I'm not sure how to not obsess.

Link to comment



First - Welcome....


I'm not going to sugar coat this - you need to let your friends know. They need to get tested tho they may not have an accurate result for 4-6 months if they don't have an OB. It sounds like you had sex during an OB (when did you notice the OB first) in which case their risk is reasonably high for getting it. I would print out the handouts below and show it to them.






Disclosure e-book:



While you can drink alcohol it may actually cause you to break out more - especially at first. Diet and stress can cause breakouts... so this is something you may want to start to work on improving.


I'll come back and comment more - just wanted to answer your questions quickly but there is a lot more to discuss here my friend :)



Link to comment

We had sex a week ago today (Tuesday) and I noticed irritation on Sunday... Is that normal? This is my first time ever having any type of outbreak like this I think, is it possible they gave it to me? I feel like its unlikely since I imagine they only have sex with each other. And this isn't the first time it's happened between all of us. I read that rough sex can sometimes cause an outbreak? Could that have been the case here? I can't imagine telling them a week after we had sex I get diagnosed. My guilt is killing me if they get something because of me.

Link to comment

Its very possible that one of them could have had it and not known. Dont beat yourself up we live and learn. I would even say something like ive been feeling weird since we had sex have you guys been tested recently? If they say no, make a suggestion to get tested for everything including herpes since it is NOT standard. Things will get better even if you come back positive. Lots of support here!

Link to comment

Then odds are you got it from them.... :(


The first OB generally happens within a few days to a few weeks of initial contact. The timing of your OB is pretty textbook that you got it from them.... the only way you *might* find out is if you have an IgM test but they are not that accurate, and IGG will come up negative right no - you have to have had the virus 4-6+ months for it to show up. The culture will tell you what you have but not when you got it.


You way you "imagine they only have sex with each other" but they had sex with you... I somehow think this isn't their first rodeo my friend :/

Link to comment

Hi dancer, thanks for your response! What exactly is an Igm test? I'm tempted to get the blood test just to find out if I've had it for a while but I don't have insurance so I doubt the doc will do it. :( kind of feeling like I have to just accept I may never know for sure where it came from. I don't want to blame this couple because I'm pretty sure it was a first for all of us. But then again I can never be positive about their sexual history..


Thanks for the kind words pika, that is a good way to put it to them. Once I gain the courage to say something. Feel like such a coward right now. Especially since these people are close to people I know I feel like I might be screwing up a lot of relationships and that really scares me.


I'm still in shock wondering about how I got here... Bad luck? Bad decisions... God I can only wish I could go back but the look forward is terrifying right now. And mentioning this to this couple is killing me. And if this is my first ob isn't it usually really bad? This isn't fun but it's not as bad or painful as some other experiences I've read on here.


So depressed. :( I'm just going to stay in bed and be sad until maybe I come to a revelation about my life.

Link to comment

IgM tests for a type of antibody that is produced during the initial "acute"phase right after you are infected...when the IgG can't pick up the regular antibodies... the accuracy isn't nearly as good as the IgG but if you get a + result then odds are they gave it to you unless you had sex elsewhere in the last few weeks.


All sexual encounters have a risk attached unless you both wait to get tested and actually SEE the other person's results (and the tests have to have been run 4-6 months post last sexual partner.) I say you should see them because it's not uncommon for the other person to say they were tested (and possibly think they were tested for everything) but they were not tested for things like Herpes, Chlamydia, or HPV. We've had cases where both partners were virgins and one got HSV1 genital from the other with Oral Sex... you can thank the CDC for recommending that people not be tested unless they have symptoms for that :(


And yes you sound like you are having an initial OB - you certainly would have known if you had this before if it was "worse" ... but Herpes doesn't play by any set of "rules" - some people never, ever have an OB and don't know they have it. Some have terrible OB's for up to a year. Most fall somewhere in between.

Link to comment

Also, everyone above covered everything perfectly... I just chimed in bc I have a bone to pick with you @Wakeup13 ...


Why are you taking so much of the responsibility and ownership? They could have given it to you just as much as the other way around. It is JUST as fair to believe that. Plus, you shouldn't assume you are the only one they've been with. There is NO WAY to tell who had it first. And if there was oral sex, one of them may have oral HSV, which could have been passed to you genitally. Symptoms can show within 2 to 12 days after expose usually. (Mine did at 2) The symptoms happened after you messed with them. If you do talk to them, which you should I would definitely make it an even playing field. This will release a lot of that negative energy you got going on involving this.


You don't even have a sure diagnosis to have so much worry :P And this could also be something else. I would definitely wait 'til testing is done to confront them with confidence... but I'd mention to them that something is wrong.


Oh, and we all have done and many continue to do things that are risky... such as unprotected sex. BUT usually we would have no regret or feel bad about our actions if something like this didn't follow. THEREFORE, let it go. No self pity or regret, just a lesson learned :)

Link to comment

I'm slowly coming to terms and actually managed to laugh a couple times today. I am waiting for my results (though I'm fairly sure this is where I belong) but I have a question. Can which ever version of hsv I have spread to other parts of my body? Like currently it's only on my anal region but could a popped blister or the wetness of the blister spread the ob to my vagina. Or if I touch a blister and then touch another part of my body would that spread the ob? Or do outbreaks always occur in the same place?

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...