I was gonna tell him I have herpes. I tried to stop him. NOW WHAT DO I DO?

[LostandConfused324]

I have been reading this forum for two weeks now ever since I finally thought that I might get enough courage to actually go out on a date, and not cancel it or come up with some lie as to why I'm not available. I haven't been with anyone in a "real relationship" in years. My ex bf and I lived together, but never really had sex, because he was HSV-2 positive, and would never tell me when he was having an outbreak, and then I'd get infected. (So, I cut him off, I just moved out of his house in January) I felt like I was never going to be able to meet anyone ever again because of this horrible disease I have now! Whomever, I date will be the first guy I am going to have to disclose this too! I'm making myself ill over even thinking about telling someone, the embarrassment, the stress is killing me.

 

I felt like everything was going too good. And I've actually been stressing myself out over even going on the first date with this guy last Thursday. He was amazing! I couldn't wait to see him again. He texted me everyday and couldn't wait to see me again, but I kept blowing him off, until Monday. That was supposed to be our next real dinner date. His texts were getting a little steamy and I tried to not feed into them, as not to lead him on. I was afraid where the next date might lead if I did. Well Monday morning came and he postponed the date until Tuesday, and I was so relieved. However, that just gave me more time to make myself ill, sick to my stomach and try to come up with any excuse possible to cancel myself.

 

I was off work Tuesday, and slept half the day (self induced depression) I believe. When I woke up, he had texted me and asked me to an early lunch as well, which I missed. I apologized and told him I was working, and couldn't wait to see him that evening. So I finally decided to get excited about my date again, and I had decided to make my disclosure to him after dinner. I knew that he was going to invite me back to his house for wine, and I told myself the entire way there, that I would not do anything with him. I would just kiss and make out with him, and not let anything get out of hand.

 

It didn't go as planned. We started watching hockey, talking, sipping on wine, and kissing immediately. Before I knew it, my shirt was off, he took his shirt off (I didn't touch him or initiate anything), before I knew it, things were hot and heavy with kissing and playing, then his pants came off. I immediately said, "do you have a condom?" He said, "Yes, but I don't want to stop and go get it right now." So, I pulled my jeans back up, that he was quickly unbuttoning and trying to remove, and he said "no we're fine we'll just play" He gave me oral, and vice versa, then laid me down on the couch and pulled my jeans off. I kept my thong on. We continued to play, I felt so confused, and over taken by my pent up sexual frustration, that I didn't stop him. He laid me down and we had unprotected sex!! (twice in the hour) I am so mad at myself right now, I am so scared, I had nightmares all night.

 

He's such a great guy too. He worships the ground I walk on. We talked to for hours after about family, life, and seeing each other again Thursday, Sunday, on my birthday in a week and being my date for my daughter's wedding in 2 weeks. I feel like I just royally *effed that up for good. I JUST RUINED A GREAT RELATIONSHIP :( I hate this disease! Why me?!!!

 

He messaged me earlier, about his back hurting, and I casually blew him off to not go over to his house, for fear of the inevitable happening again. :(

 

How could I be so stupid and weak, and not stop him. Why didn't I tell him at dinner and give him the chance to dump me? Help please! I just would rather be dead then tell him and lose him!!! :( He's going to freak, he's an Officer in the Military, and I know how strict they are on STD's. What do I do??

[HerryTheHerp]

Ok, I'm going to get the tough love out of the way first. Unprotected sex with someone you hardly know in the era of HIV/AIDS is like playing with fire. Military or no military, you get those papers in hand before you ever go down that road. There are far worse things than Herpes out there.

 

Now, we're all human, but best of intentions don't overshadow our actions even in the heat of the moment. One thing I don't see is whether you have HSV2 or not. Your ex had it, but you don't say you've been tested and had that confirmed. Just because your ex had it, doesn't mean you do. There are couples together for years who never transmit it. Unless you've had a verified outbreak or test result, don't assume you have it.

 

OK?

 

So, let me assume the worst, and that you do have HSV2. Transmission would be between 4-10% risk. That's pretty low. Does that mean you're in the clear? No. You're still going to have to tell him. You need to be honest and up front with him right now. You need to get all your information together, all your facts, and be straight with him. You're going to have to find some inner confidence and tell him in such a way that shows you're hurt about having herpes, but not hurt BY herpes.

 

Now, you both messed up. He should have put a rubber on. Period. If he comes back at you, well, unprotected sex is a two way street. But, if he's a good guy, which it sounds like he might be alright, he's gonna realize that. He put himself at risk just as much as you did, so, like it or not, you're in it together.

 

As far as the military goes, well, herpes is not a dealbreaker as long as it doesn't interfere with his MOS. I've known plenty of guys and gals in the military with HSV2 and HSV1, and well, it's not that big of an issue.

[LostandConfused324]

Tough Love is right. And I know I was wrong. And you're right, he knew what he was doing.....ding ding.....maybe a little bell should have went off in his head, when I asked for the condom? He didn't seemed concerned as to what he could be getting himself into. And I hate to say it like that today, because I am completely to blame. But, he declined, and the heat of the moment took over. Was I gonna blurt it out right then? "Stop we can't do this, I have herpes!" I know it shouldn't have gone that far. I know I shouldn't have done what I did on just our 2nd date, trust me, I'm beating myself up to puking. I like him, I want to be happy. I don't want to ruin his life, like mine is. :(

 

And yes, I was confirmed HSV-2 positive November 12, 2012. My first OB that I knew of at that time, was the day my ex returned from deployment. We had sex for the first time in 8 months, the next day I broke out, then he broke out. I'm not sure if he gave it to me, or if it was from a previous person I dated briefly in March 2011. I hadn't slept with anyone else.

 

Just confused.....so confused......I don't know what to do......he's going to want to see me tomorrow....I can't ruin his weekend.....he's going out of town to a Retirement Party.....can you imagine me laying this on him before he leaves for the weekend?

But if he sees me again, he's going to assume sex is safe......unprotected.

[HerryTheHerp]

Hey, I'm sorry if I was too harsh. It's been a rough day for me. Probably shouldn't be dishing advice when my own mistakes are staring me in the face.

 

Ok, well, stop beating yourself up. That's not going to get you anywhere. We've all been there, and we've all done it.

 

We all want to be happy. I know that feeling all to well in this moment. We all want to be loved. There's no better feeling in the world.

 

Ok, so you have herpes. It's confirmed. That clears that up. I'd say I'm sorry, but hey, if you didn't, and I didn't, we never would have met. So, let's count our blessings!

 

What to do? You need to tell him. The sooner the better. The longer you wait, the worse it will be. Yeah, the timing sucks, but that's life sometimes. When you do it, do it in person. And, stay strong. Give him the whole story the same way you did here. Honest, straight, truth. That's the only option right now. If he's an officer and gentleman, he's gonna take it well, and if not, well, we're gonna be here to hold your hand as you get through it. That's a promise.

[perfGentleman]

I find pregnancy to be a much bigger risk than H. He took that risk.

 

You need to tell him. The sooner he can educate himself about it, the easier things will be.

You are going to be allright. ;)

[WCSDancer2010]

@Lost

 

First - Welcome!

 

Herry covered the Tough Love part (that's usually my department ;) ) so I won't harp much further on that part ... tho to be perfectly blunt, *IF* he happened to get H from you, IMO its as much if not more his fault as you tried to get him to use a condom... and you definitely have to tell him ... however, I'm more worried about YOU .. you must INSIST on a condom in future until you SEE his STD results honey. Period. Given how he seemed to have no desire to use a condom I'd be concerned about his status. And I wouldn't take his word for it.

 

I would call him because it seems that you guys both have minimal ability to slow things down in the heat of the moment (Herpes will teach you to slow relationships down but you gotta learn how to just say "NO... I want to get to know YOU first"). Tell him that you didn't want things to get out of hand and you DID try to at least get him to use a Condom but you really need to slow things down. Then tell him about your Herpes, and how you can take the antivirals, etc. Tell him that if you continue, no sex without condoms until you SEE his test results... because you (*ahem* should!) have learned your lesson with getting one STD and you don't want to get any more. Tell him you will show him yours (go get a whole new set of tests if necessary ) .. and I *personally* would get re-tested in 6 months simply because even if he shows he's negative for everything now, if he's been sexually active in the last 4 months he could have just picked something else up.

 

I don't want to ruin his life, like mine is.

 

Honey - your life is NOT ruined..... and you really, REALLY have to get that. I've had this 35 years and my life has been GREAT ... you have a bad memory associated with how you got it and you have to put that behind you but you have to get that you can find love and have a normal life with H.

 

And to be honest, with the way that guy acts, I'd say he's an STD carrier waiting to happen. Perhaps this experience will show him that he really needs to slow himself down, he needs to wear a condom, and he needs to ask about STD status and SEE the other person's results in the future before going bareback. He is a grown adult and he is responsible too for keeping himself STD free.

 

he's an Officer in the Military, and I know how strict they are on STD's

 

Herpes isn't an issue unless it stops him from doing his duties. There is another discussion about that on here right now that you can look up... so don't worry about that.

 

So get that conversation done ASAP my friend... and if he runs, that just tells you he's not as "wonderful" as you think..... I'm giving you links to read and watch so you can get a clear head on how to approach it....

 

(((HUGS))) - things will work out as they are meant to ;)

 

Handouts:

 

http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout

 

Disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

Successful disclosures

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2833/this-was-a-first kitcattat

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2892/first-disclosing-talk-with-a-new-guy-so-relieved Figuringthisout

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2879/rekindling-an-old-flame Valkyrie

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3021/successful-herpes-disclosure Starsinhereyes

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3036/i-had-the-herpes-talk-and-he-said- thisisgoingtobeok

 

Herpes facts video

 

 

 

[LostandConfused324]

At this point, I can never get too much "Tough Love." I don't know what I would do if I didn't have all of you to talk too. I am so happy that I finally have someone that I can talk to bluntly about this. The only person up until yesterday that knew about this beside my ex bf, is my mother, and I tell her everything. Yes, I even told her, that I screwed up on Tuesday night :( She never judges me, she always listens with an open heart, just like I feel you all do.

 

As far as pregnancy goes, I can't get pregnant, so that's irrelevant.

 

To address your statement-

"you have a bad memory associated with how you got it"

I am pretty sure that I got it from someone that I was seeing for 2 months, we were more like friends, he travelled alot in the music industry, we never had sex, we always hung out everytime he was in town, went out to dinner, concerts, drank, watched movies at my house, partied together, then one night 3/24/11 we drank too much, he slept over my house like usual, but this time, we got naked, he performed oral sex on me, I handed him a condom that I ripped open. I remember we had anal sex, the next morning, we both woke up very drunk and hungover, and the condom, was laying in the bed, still in the package. (the part that makes me mad now, is that I remember he always had cold sores on his lips) I could kick myself now with what I know!

 

The next day was my son's 24th birthday, and I left the party the first 10 minutes after I got there, went home with a fever of 105 degrees all night, chills, colder then I have ever felt in my life and had a little tear on my a&&. I couldn't get out of bed the next day. I didn't know what was wrong with me.

 

I didn't realize at the time that I might have just had my first herpes OB, until years later after reading about herpes when I was confirmed positive November 12, 2012. I still was unsure whether my current bf whom I had never been faithful too, had been unfaithful to me during one of our break-up fights, or screwed around on one of his deployments. I just found it odd that the minute he returned from his deployment October 30, 2012 we had sex and both immediately broke out with Herpes. I didn't have any OB's while he was deployed for 8 months!! I immediately went to the doctor to be tested, and they confirmed me HSV-2 positive. He on the other hand, waited and waited and waited to go, because he was in the Military as well and was worried about getting in trouble. When he was finally confirmed positive, they gave him 6 pills, told him to take them sparingly, and they also told him that I INFECTED HIM. They said they had a high tech blood test, that can tell them how long I've been infected and that I gave it too him. I told him to go "Eff" himself and the military!! They have no way of telling that! I don't believe his Alcoholic-self was ever faithful during his deployment, that is why we aren't together NOW! Scum!

 

So, this is why I am not sure whether it was from the first guy, who I thought was my friend, or my ex. I do believe the more I read that it was the first guy, and I just want to sue him for ruining my life. I feel like he knew what he had, and there was a reason why he never wanted to have sex for 2 months, and he finally decided to give in that night, and he chose to bypass the condom, and perform oral sex, while he had a cold sore. I get more furious over it everyday, and I want to confront him.

 

Boy, I cannot believe I am finally getting all of this off my chest.

All of this pain and anger has been bottled up inside me for so many months, since my diagnosis. It was until, my permanent break up from my ex, did this all hit me so hard, that I would have to live with this horrible mess for the rest of my life. And my freedom has been robbed from me.

 

 

 

[WCSDancer2010]

@Lost

 

Actually, if they did an IGM on him they *could* tell that it was a recent infection. Most places don't do them because they have a lot of false negatives... but the Army may have a different testing policy... certainly if he had just been exposed and they did the IGG then that would would have come up negative ...

 

So sounds like it was the first guy ... certainly the time line fits. However, there's no way you got that from the oral sex as HSV2 very very rarely is on the mouth (less than 1% of all oral Herpes). I'm afraid that you got it from the sex my dear...and it's entirely possible that the condom wouldn't have protected you either ... they are only about 50% effective because if the OB/shedding areas isn't covered by it (entirely possible if its' on the scrotum or upper thighs) then the condom won't make a difference anyway.

 

You really have to get this though. Your freedom has NOT been taken from you. A HUGE number of people have Herpes and we are all surviving just fine. Yes, it's a pain in the ass (and other places!). Yes, it can make for awkward conversations (but often they turn into beautiful ones!). And yes, a very few will perhaps be jerks about it. But it's not Cancer. It won't kill you and after awhile it usually chills out and becomes a minor part of your life. And you can learn soooo much about yourself from H ... Herpes acts as a magnifying glass on your insecurities ... it will let you know when you are not taking care of yourself. And it gives you a damned great excuse to take your time getting to know someone ... but ya gotta get control of those hormones!!!

 

((HUGS))

[LostandConfused324]

Well, well, well !! My worst nightmare has come true!! I knew there was a reason, that I have not heard from him since Wednesday. So, he just texted me a long book length text....I figure I'll share with you how it went. Get a drink, settle in, it's a long one to read. :( I've been going over this is my head for hours and I'm still hurt. I'm such an idiot.

 

He said "Hi T. Back in early Apr, my ex and I broached the idea of reconciliation. Now we've decided to attend counseling and make a commitment to see if there is a possibility. We didn't discuss seeing other people but it just makes sense not to. I need to focus my energy and effort on this development and stop seeing anyone. I'm sorry but encouraged that maybe something will come of this. I hope you understand from a woman, former wife and parent. It would not be fair to continue dating you if my mind and heart was elsewhere. There are no words to make this easy..."

 

I said "No I don't understand considering your need to keep asking me if there was any chance that my ex would be reconsidering a reconciliation. And I had to keep assuring you that there wasnt. I knew that we should NEVER HAVE SLEPT TOGETHER and I needed to talk with you Sunday when you got home. But since you have chosen this cowardly way to tell me this and couldnt tell me in person like a respectable man. I guess I will do the same. There is a 3-10% chance that you could have been infected with an STD that night that I asked you for a condom. Not that I know if you could have infected me with something as you did not seem like a condom was important.

I have herpes and had planned on telling you that night but things got heated too fast. I asked for a condom you denied. I have never had to do this before because I've only been in one relationship since getting stuck with this fucking skin disease. But it's time you know now. I was going to sit down with you Sunday. And there are no words to make this easy. I have been sick to my stomach and heart ever since that night. I never meant to let you go that far. I wasn't even going to go on our date. I made myself ill over going on a date with you in the first place for fear of having to tell a man for the first time ever in my life.

 

He said "T, I'm not gonna attack your character -- but still, that you knew and didn't tell me is just awfully wrong."

 

I said "And I wouldn't attack yours. Trust me I've been sick as a dog over this. I've never been through this. However you are as much to blame as me. I asked! ! How many women do you have sex with and don't use a condom J.? Don't say none.

The risk of you getting it is less then 3% because I am on anti-viral meds, I started taking them daily in January when I decided I was going to start dating by the advice of my Dr. I haven't had a break out in 9 months. I'd rather talk to you about this face to face so that you are better informed. I'm not a disgusting monster. Someone I once trusted did this to me years ago. I didn't even know I had it for 18 months but was in a monogamous relationship at that time. I don't know if I believe this story about you and your ex, but I am so hurt right now and even more confused about dating. Exactly why I wish I wasn't so open to tell you so much about my family and my life. I feel it was just more than you could handle. Like Momma says anything too good to be true probably is. You were amazing. If I shared too much of my life too soon, I'm sorry for that too.

 

He said "T., you're a wonderfully kind person. It's sad what happened by someone you trusted in the past. This news is shocking for sure and I'm not laying blame. Opening up about your life and family was nice and naturally fitting. Are you handling your condition well with the meds?" "It's Ok asking and no insult taken. The week before I had complete lab work done on urine and blood for my job - all clean. Negative."

 

I said "You know you need to get tested again in about 3-4 by blood test, unless you have a break out GOD FORBID. which I highly doubt you will. I'm not and you would have by now. But to be safe you need to get tested in September. Do you hate me? I'm so sorry. I for one thought you were for real and really looking to date, I never thought you'd do THIS to me. However. I never meant to NOT tell you. Do you know how hard it is to try and bring up that discussion for the first time in your life for fear of losing someone? And poof, I lose you anyway. :( "

 

He said "I think you should stop beating yourself up. Getting upset is not healthy. You told me now and that should give you a bit of relief. I don't understand what "less than 3% chance" means. Oh, and no I don't hate you."

 

I said "Do you have an email address I can send you links to the information and support forum that helps me get through this. They have a Dr on staff and are very knowledgeable. They have helped me understand it a lot more when I thought my life was over last year."

 

He said "You don't need to do that. But I appreciate the gesture. T., thank you for telling me; I can't imagine the emotional turmoil and suffering you've been though. The devastation of the last 18 months must be awful but you sought help and got on antivirals."

 

I said "http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout Read this and go here herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion"

 

He said "Thank you T. Do you feel better? I'm grateful for you telling me and now sharing these items. I already knew quite a bit about herpes and am relieved that you take meds. I hope you're not ashamed of it nor angry at yourself for anything.

 

I said "I am stunned and concerned? That you are taking this so well. I don't know whether to cry more because I'm losing you, or cry because I'm losing soneone who knows and is ok with it and, no I have to decide whether I want to go through this pain and "trust" again with another man. I do know I betrayed you and for that I am truly sorry. You will forever hold a secret of mine that no one knows but my Mom. I hope we can maintain some type of friendship. If not I understand.

 

He said "I'm really trying to be supportive and have empathy - and appreciate you taking notice. No more tears. I bet you poured out too many by now. Of course maintaining a friendship is there. Do your meds give you side effects or have you stopped? "

 

I said "The original capsules used to make me sick to my stomach over a year ago The Dr switched me to pills, which I was only supposed to take during an outbreak. But I didn't have an outbreak except for once more when he lied. Then I found out if you took them daily your chances decreased for an outbreak, especially if you're going into dating, contemplating relations. So my Dr said take the lowest dose once per day now. They don't bother me now. "

 

He said "You're a very strong and resilient woman T. and I think highly of you. I can't even imagine what it's been like to experience all of that. I will keep your your secret safe and hope in some small way to support you.

 

I said "I have a strange sense of calmness about me right now. Although my heart is hurting, I can't deny that because I am a woman first. I do thank you more then you know for your support. And thank your for not thinking any less of me. That is my worst fear having this disease. That it would in some way try to alter the truly genuine person I am with a huge heart. Some day I will find the perfect person to share all of that with who will accept me for me. Good Luck to you J. xo

 

 

 

 

[LostandConfused324]

So after talking to my Mom about this whole text thing, we both think that either one, he's been through this scenario before, or he already has it himself. It sounds pretty fishy that he knows so much about herpes. Everyday people dont just read up on herpes out of boredom, unless you've had a scare or you've got it. I want to confront him one more time. He kept avoiding my questions about his previous partners, although I do know he just had complete testing done last week, but that doesnt tell me anything. He could be lying. He could be negative for everything, except herpes. For a Military Officer, he just took this too easily.

 

Hurt and Confused in VA :(

 

Sorry I felt the need to post the entire thing, I just wanted you to hear everything he said and get your opinion.....

 

[willow]

Hi lost!

 

Im so sorry to hear what you are going through! Must have been difficult for you! But im proud that u said your piece! Good for you!

Imo... i think u and your mom are right, that he either has it too, or had a scare... but i personnally dont believe the ol story hes tellin ya, with my experience so far, its just a perfect excuse for the person to walk out and say "my ex n i r giving it a shot". B.S.!!

I think you are brave and strong for doing the right thing even though he hurt you.

dont give up though, plenty of cuties out there waiting to be cast a line!

best of luck!!! xox

[HerryTheHerp]

Well, I think you're reading too much into his response. I think it's genuine. Sure, he might have been through it before. He might have gotten educated then. Is it possible he has it? Maybe. But, whether he does or doesn't, you've got a golden ticket here to hold onto: That's forgiveness and acceptance. Grab it and don't look back. Look forward to tomorrow, and know that you've made it through this, the next disclosure is going to be a lot easier.

[pinkgirl]

Hi Lost,

 

I am sorry that you had to go through all that. I am experiencing something similar right now.

 

I met a guy and we got a bit too drunk and we ended up sleeping together before I could tell him anything. I haven't figured out how to go about approaching him with this now :( especially when I don't really understand it myself.

 

See I was diagnosed by my doctor via blood test yet I have never had a sign or symptom ever. I'm not sure if I'm just some sort of carrier or what. I see that you pass it when you have an outbreak the most, but seeing that I have never even had one I'm not sure what the chances are. It's so confusing to me.

 

[WCSDancer2010]

@Lost:

 

I agree with Herry - I think he is just being kind ... AND, it took the focus off his behavior with jumping in bed with you while he is obviously rebounding/not over his ex. And BTW, there are a LOT of people who jump into dating/bed while rebounding... and speaking from experience, being the "rebound chick" sucks :(

 

So, I want you to read my blog on Using herpes as your Wingman" - it may help you in the future. *IF* you had slowed things down just a bit to get to know HIM then you may have figured out he was rebounding and let him go his merry way... just look at this as another life lesson ... learn and grow from it .... you will be stronger and more clear about what you want in a man in the future :)

 

http://herpeslife.com/using-herpes-as-your-wing-man/

 

((HUGS)))

[LostandConfused324]

I wanted to Thank You all so much for your love and support. I am so happy that I found this forum. I have felt so alone for the past 18 months since finding out I was positive for HSV-2. I have learned so much from all of you, and continue to learn daily by reading the forum. I will never learn all there is to know about this, and will constantly need all of the support I receive and love from complete strangers. But to me, you all are my "H-family"...I seriously could not get through this without you. This disease is something that I don't even share with my closest friends yet, or my family, only my mother. I am not that strong yet. I don't think I ever will be ready to share it with any of them. I have trust issues in my life.

 

Thank you WCSDancer and Herry for your tough love, and getting through my first "disclosure." It hasn't been an easy week, I've still been doing some soul searching. My heart has still been hurting and feeling rejected. My birthday is Saturday, and I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself. It's a huge milestone birthday for me, and I guess, this isn't exactly how I would have ever dreamt my birthday would be turning out at this age. Single, alone and with an STD. Yay me!! :(

[willow]

Happy early bday!

I just wanted to add....

 

you might be single.. but maybe its because u havnt found someone as awesome as you!... your not alone. We are all here for you! And who cares that u have an std? My friends mom was born with hsv 2.. and lots of people end up getting stds...

 

Yes yay you! Do you not see how awesome u are? Look in the mirror... have a good long look, apreciatr yourself!

 

[LostandConfused324]

Thanks for making me cry. But then again, I've been crying a lot this week. This just isn't where I would have ever expected my life to be at 50, when people keep telling me...."you're gorgeous, you look like you're 38, why are you SINGLE?" gOOd qUEsTiOnS THAT I'm sick of hearing!!

But thank you for the birthday wishes. I was actually born on Mother's Day (the only baby girl after my Mom had 7 boys, she lost 2 sets of twins) but she said I was her gift. And my Dad had walked out on her, and left her to raise four kids alone and she did a damn good job. I think he is the reason, I can't stay in a relationship and have detachment issues. Everything I love, seems to leave me, everything or everyone I want in my life, I seem to lose.

 

Anyway...

This year, I get Saturday instead of Sunday. LOL And a daughter getting married next Saturday. You'd think I'd be ecstatic. Instead, I'm stressed out, because I don't have an escort/date for her wedding. The odd man out again. :(

 

Thank you Willow, I will keep remembering to look in the mirror. You are awesome.

 

 

 

 

 

[willow]

Hey who knows.. maybe u find a date in time maybe u dont, either way i hope you know that the bighest thing she will be looking forward to besides the wedding, is seeing her moms smile at her wedding.

i know im still young, but ive been single for 2 years now, in all honesty its not horrible. Id rather chill out with myself than some a**h*** who doesnt care about me.

Chin up chickie, you will get thru this,

*side story....

my moms best girl friend met a guy who had h, and she didnt care in the least bit ... shes 53, hes i think 55, they got engaged too.

[WCSDancer2010]

at 50, when people keep telling me...."you're gorgeous, you look like you're 38, why are you SINGLE?"

 

Honey - I hear that ALL THE TIME and I am in a community of dancers ...go to weekends where there are hundreds of people ... you would think I could find *someone*. But it is what it is. Don't overthink it. When the RIGHT man comes along, it will be worth the wait.

 

Everything I love, seems to leave me, everything or everyone I want in my life, I seem to lose.

 

And that, my friend is a STORY.... and you need to see that. Otherwise you will create a self fulfilling prophecy .... you will pick the wrong guys, or walk away at the first sign of something "wrong". Try to let go of that P.O.V. Don't let it run your life ...

 

And Happy Birthday!!!