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Friends and their ignorance

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Tonight I was at a dinner with a sports team.


We had to write on a piece of paper something about us know one would know -( of course the first thing in my mind was H but didn't write that)


Two of the girls were joking about what to write and one said I have chlamydia and they both start laughing and saying no I actually don't haha.


It just made me think if only they knew what they had really said.


Made me sad not because I have H but because they have no idea how common these things are.


4 weeks ago a comment like that would have made me go into my shell and think everyone knew and want to just leave. Tonight I managed to brush it off as ignorance and try not to dwell on it.


Yeah I didn't tell them off or say well actually I have herpes, but I feel good their comment didn't cause the same reaction it would have before.

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Yeah, STD's are still a joke to most people... until they have one! My friends joke about herpes, too. One pf them has the oral kind, I know because I have seen it with my own eyes. Question - have y'all ever revealed your status to your friends? I told one of my close girl friends and she was very encouraging and "no big deal" about it. It felt good to tell someone. I sometimes wonder if some of my friends have it too and it's just everyone's little secret.

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There is such a stigma that exists about herpes. I recall a coworker/friend telling me once she had HPV and none of us thought it was a big deal. But I bet if I had told them I had herpes, they would have freaked out. I wished they would have another name for it. Like oral herpes has "cold sores" and varcella zoster is called "chicken pox". They are all essentially the same thing!

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I have told my sister and 2 of my managers at work know.


A female friend knows and 2 males friends.


I haven't told my sports teams because I don't trust them enough with my feelings and because I don't think they all have the ability to not treat me different or could be mature about it.


And because I'm not ready to put it out there myself.

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I'm 100% out - came out last November on FB, and I have to say I have ONLY had positive comments and I've had a number of people confide in me that they have it and that they are glad to have someone to talk to about it ... and plenty other tell me they know people with it. I refuse to buy into the stigma and that really helps because I tell people in a matter-of-fact way that I am an Advocate for the Herpes community and many will start to ask me questions about it, which is great as I get to educate them. My story is here:



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