New to this, lots of questions.

[bookworm]

Hello,

 

I just want to share my story and learn how to live with this. Thanks for reading and caring in advance.

 

On February 2012 I had an outbreak, I got scared and went to the doctor. She told me it was some kind of fungus and sent me an hsv2 lab which came back negative. Why do I tell this? Well because exactly two years later I had the same outbreak, the same symptoms, but this time I went to a different doctor, he took a sample from the outbreak and had a culture done. It came back positive for HSV1. Ever since I found out I have so many questions, so many thoughts and I don't know how to feel better. That finding out moment was horrible. The possibility of having had the virus for two years and not knowing it was terrifying. Can it be possible? Could I had the hsv1 all that time but because of the other doctor testing for hsv2 led to a negative result??? I didn't have any outbreak for two years! After that my life has been a roller coaster. Some days I feel ok, other days I feel like I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life and become really depressed. How can I start a relationship knowing this? It's not the kind of thing you tell everyone. My doctor told me I can have a normal life and I DO understand that now, but how would I start something with someone and then after getting close drop this bomb. I really regret being so stupid in the past. I was with this guy, I always ask for protection but he took the condom out without telling me... a few days later... my first outbreak. Sorry if I'm writing in an illogical manner but I'm just letting it all out. Only two people know what's happening to me and they try to understand but they most certainly don't know what to say.

 

I also have a loooot of questions. I couldn't ask my doctor the day he told me because I was hysterical and I NEED answers.

If you can answer them for me I would be so grateful. Sorry if they are dumb, but I am really clueless on what to expect.

 

If I have an outbreak, (I have genital HSV1) and I kiss someone, would it get transmitted?

 

If I have the genital one, can I get outbreaks on the mouth?

 

If I have a child, could I breastfeed?

 

Are all outbreaks on the same place and do they show the same symptoms? I think I had another small outbreak but it was on a different place and not as painful, but the blisters were the same.

 

I hope joining this community helps me become happy. I feel so confused still.

 

Thanks for helping.

[mr_hopp]

"Could I had the hsv1 all that time but because of the other doctor testing for hsv2 led to a negative result???"

 

Yes, this happens all the time. False diagnoses happen way too often. Whether it's upon visual inspection or via a blood test. And herpes can lay dormant for years. (My first herpes outbreak didn't show up until 5 years after my initial exposure!)

 

"How can I start a relationship knowing this?"

 

If you have all these negative, end-of-the-world thoughts running through your mind, those will block you from love more than herpes ever will. So, the most important relationship to look for is a great relationship with yourself first. How you treat yourself, the thoughts and beliefs you have about yourself. A lot of people immediately start looking for a relationship, someone to accept them, because for many, they can't accept themselves. Looking for that kind of acceptance outside of ourselves first is a recipe for disaster. I did this for a while. I wasn't willing to actually do the work of looking in my own mind and heart. But when I did, the shifts in perspective were mind-blowing.

 

Answers to your specific questions:

 

1. If I have an outbreak, (I have genital HSV1) and I kiss someone, would it get transmitted?

 

No. Herpes can only be transmitted via skin-to-skin contact with the area of skin where your outbreaks happen.

More here: http://herpeslife.com/how-can-you-get-herpes/

 

2. If I have the genital one, can I get outbreaks on the mouth?

 

It depends on whether you have HSV-1 or HSV-2. Again (as is said in more detail below), herpes only travels via the nerve ganglia, not via bodily fluids through the whole body. So if the only site of transmission was your genitals, then it's not going to travel up to your mouth unless you touch an open sore and then touch your mouth. So when you have an active outbreak, always wash your hands with soap after touching the outbreak (soap kills the virus instantly.) Read up on the differences between the 2 herpes strains here:

http://herpeslife.com/hsv-1-hsv-2-types-of-herpes/

 

3. If I have a child, could I breastfeed?

 

Yes, absolutely! Only if you somehow touch an open sore and then touch your nipple can you possibly transfer herpes outbreaks to your nipple. Herpes outbreaks don't just magically appear on other areas of the body.

 

4. Are all outbreaks on the same place and do they show the same symptoms? I think I had another small outbreak but it was on a different place and not as painful, but the blisters were the same.

 

It's possible you had an outbreak in a different spot, but for the most part, once an outbreak zone has been established, future herpes outbreaks will show up in that general zone. This is because genital herpes resides in the basal ganglia, which is the base of the spine. When an outbreak happens, it's the herpes virus making its way from the spine through your nerve ganglia, using them as a path to the surface of the skin. Once the virus uses a pathway, it will use that general pathway in the future, since its the path of least resistance.

[bookworm]

Wow, thanks a lot. I originally thought the virus was everywhere once you got an outbreak. I'm relieved. I have a daughter and I would like to have another baby in the future but I don't want them to get anything from me.

[WCSDancer2010]

"Could I had the hsv1 all that time but because of the other doctor testing for hsv2 led to a negative result???"

 

Sadly many Dr's are behind the times and it sounds like your Dr didn't think to test for H1 ... so yes, very possible that you had it for the last 2 yrs ...

 

"How can I start a relationship knowing this?"

 

The same way you start any relationship... blind faith, trust, and a good dose of Oxytocin ;)

 

Seriously, if everyone who has H gave up on finding a relationship/love the Wedding Chapel in Vegas would go out of business. REmember that 15-20% of the population has GHSV2 ... and nowadays 50% of all new Genital cases are HSV1 (Usually from Oral Sex BTW) ... and 80% of people have Oral HSV1.... so between all of that, a pretty substantial portion of the population has H one way or another. The hardest part is the lack of proper information/education around H. So... your homework right now is to learn your Prodrome symptoms and triggers while you get educated about Herpes ... hang around here and you will get a lot of great info. Read the success stories I'm linking to below ... they are a small handful of what I have collected since January but you will see that there are many, many people in discordant relationships (One H+ the other H-).

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3021/successful-herpes-disclosure Starsinhereyes

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3036/i-had-the-herpes-talk-and-he-said-thisisgoingtobeok

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3439/tonight-is-my-night NSgreenville (male) (READ TO THE END!!)

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3488/so-im-new-to-this Sunshinesister (H- Partner’s questions)

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3453/proper-vocabulary-i-have-herpes-vs-im-a-carrier-of-hsv blueeyes… ending 8 yr dry spell from terror to elation

 

Regarding children and babies:

 

Your only issue will be to make sure the OBGYN knows you have H when you get pregnant. They will likely suggest you go on a anti-viral for the last month (very safe for the baby BTW) to help keep you from having an OB so you can have the baby naturally... if you are having an OB at the time of delivery they will likely want to do a Cesarean as newborns can get it during delivery. Breastfeeding is great because you pass the antibodies to the baby during that time which protects them during the first few months. You can bathe with your baby when not having an OB, etc. The biggest thing is hand washing during OB's ... and even then it's a long shot that enough virus would survive to be passed on if you were careless, but it's good to be cautious.

 

(((HUGS)))

[bookworm]

Thanks I appreciate your answer! I really enjoy reading your posts and Adrial's around the page every time I freak out! It has been a process for me accepting that I will be ok, but I'm calmer every passing day. :)