I got herpes from someone who didn't love me

[whitedaisies]

Well, I was thinking today and a thought popped into my head; would me having herpes hurt less if I got it from someone I loved and loved me back vs. getting it from some guy who didn't?

 

Now in my case, the guy didn't know he had it, and so there is no ill will and I am not mad at him at all....but would I feel better living with herpes if I got it out of love? I think I would. That love would transcend all the pain and anguish of constant outbreaks; all the doctor's appointments and tests, and all the drugs I am taking in the hopes of suppressing the virus. Even if the love is not still there at present, I think it would.

 

SO my question to all of you out there, do you think this made a difference for you in your initial reaction and your healing?

 

 

[kaybee]

Hi! I sadly contracted herpes in the least loving way possible, through rape, and I passed it to my boyfriend at the time who I loved dearly. I think he took it much harder than I did and still isn't able to fullt accept it to be honest. I think it depends more on the you than how you contracted it. If you're able to love and educate yourself and rise above the stigma then it's much easier to accept and move on. I honestly think that having herpes is a huge personal/spiritual journey that forces you to face your own demons, it gives you the opportunity to learn and grow and love yourself, and choosing to follow a positive path is a choice regardless of your contraction circumstances. That's just my two cents, I'm curious about what everyone else thinks! <3

[WCSDancer2010]

I got it with my first sexual experience, and it certainly wasn't love. I agree with @kaybee ... a lot depends on each person and how they view and face the curve-balls that life hands you.

 

I believe we each have the choice to face something and learn from it, or to shy away from it and live in unhappiness, blame, and shame. Sadly most people don't know they have the choice. Once you understand this, then it's a matter of learning acceptance and letting go of attachment of how something "should" have occurred. Life happened. However it happened, the result is the same, so why does it matter in the end? We all have to live with it. Living in the past, holding onto what could or should have happened, keeps us from being fully present now. ;)

 

That's my viewpoint anyway :)

 

 

[Athena]

I got it from my ex and there was love, lots of it. But we weren't right for each other and things ended badly. Actually, he broke up with me a week after diagnosis. It actually hurt MUCH more getting it from someone who loved me and then deserted me.

[whitedaisies]

Kaybe....I am so sorry about your rape. That must have been a horrible experience.

 

Hugs to u!

[kaybee]

thanks whitedaisies! I appreciate the hugs :) I'm okay now and there's something powerful to me about being able to talk about it. Hugs to you to <3

[whitedaisies]

I am so happy to hear u r ok now and u feel powerful. Yay!!!!

 

Hugs again!