Disclosed for the first time...

[beachluvr]

Well I finally took the leap and disclosed to a wonderful person. We have been seeing each other for several weeks, spending a lot of time together and he's stayed the weekends a few times. He came over Saturday night and we had a great time. He stayed the night and we were laying in bed just cuddling and talking and I knew he wanted more (so did I). He began doing things and I told him that I couldn't and the tears started welling up in my eyes and he knew something was wrong. He said that we didn't have to do anything but I knew we both wanted to. I told him that I needed to be upfront and honest with him about something very personal and he said that I could tell him anything and that he would never judge me. I was scared to say it. The words were on the tip of my tongue like hanging there but nothing was coming out. I had practiced this speech over and over in my head but it was like I turned into a mute. He stroked my hair and kissed me and told me that it wouldn't change anything between us. He even said that he had a secret that he would share with me first to make it easier for me. He shared his secret and I knew how hard that was for him and he made me feel so comfortable so I knew I had to share mine. He laid there holding me, kissing my forehead, and wiping away my tears as I told him about H. He listened and told me how sorry he was that I was lied to and used by the last guy and that I had gotten this. He said it didn't change a thing, that I was a beautiful, strong person, and that he was so glad that he met me, and appreciated my honesty. He held my face in his hands and looked into my eyes and told me that I was beautiful and kissed me long and passionately and he made me feel appreciated, accepted, and normal again. After the great kiss, he said, "Here I thought you were going to tell me that you use to be a man and that I couldn't handle". Well we both just started laughing and it felt so good telling him and not being afraid anymore and laughing with him. He is the first guy that I have been with sexually since my diagnosis in December and it felt like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders as he was the first guy that I have disclosed to. I had dated a few but we never were intimate beyond just being affectionate and I never felt comfortable enough to share something that personal with them. He has been so wonderful and I feel that we were meant to meet. I'm helping him through a rough patch in his life and he's made me see that there are still wonderful men out there who are honest, respectful, sincere, and non-judgmental and just aren't looking for a piece. It's just a shame that he will be going back home possibly in March but I am going to enjoy every minute I can with this awesome guy. Just had to share with all of you.

[whitedaisies]

Wonderful!!!! I am so happy for u!!!!

 

Enjoy!!!!

 

Xo

[WCSDancer2010]

YAY for you!!! As with everything, the first time is the hardest ... and he sounds like a real gem. Don't worry about what will happen in March - its a long way off and a lot can happen in that time. ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

[lifehaschanged]

I loved this post, thank you for sharing. BTW- your man sounds amazing, I am so happy for you :)