And in the end, it's not a big deal :)

[Faith512]

So its been a while since I've been on here and a lot has happened in the 3 months I've tested positive for ghsv2. Although it took me some time to accept it, these days I hardly think about it.

 

Shortly after I contracted it, I started dating a guy I had been friends with for about a year. We were both always in relationships so the thought of being anything more than friends never crossed my mind. After my ex bf and I broke up (I didn't get H from him but a guy I slept with after), he started pursuing me. I knew as soon as I accepted our first date, the subject of disclosing would eventually have to come up. But for the time being, I was going to see where this thing was going to go. I was very upfront on our first date, stating I was not interested in anything sexual for a while and wanted to take things slow so if he were just interested in a casual hook up, I wasn't it. Fortunately, he wasn't. He wanted something deeper which I was surprised and excited about.

 

Now, we're all adults here so I'm sure we ALL know after some time, things get a little steamy...lol ;) I could only take making out so far until we wanted more. Heaving petting and some oral activities later, it was only natural to take the next step: sex. I was terrified. Now during all this, I hadn't had any issues with OBs just mainly prodrome symptoms so I was able to "hide" my H from him. I was also taking my meds regularly so I was careful that I wasn't putting him at any risk without telling him the truth first. I knew once we reached that "we're gonna do it" moment, the disclosure talk was quickly creeping up on me.

 

Then it happened. We had reached that moment once again and I pulled away. He simply asked "Why don't you want me?" And. I. Lost. It. He knew something was wrong. Once I composed myself, I said "There's something I need to tell you." It was the longest conversation I had ever had. The majority of the initial disclosure was me trying to allow "I have herpes" leave my lips...but I couldn't. So he said it for me. He knew where I was going with my rambling and hysterical crying. I sat there for, what felt like forever, waiting for him to be completely disgusted by me. But I was wrong. He told me a mutual friend we had worked with previously also had it, so it wasn't his first time being introduced to it. He began to rub my back and say "babe, it's ok...everything is ok." Those words meant the world to me. That's all I needed at that very moment. He cuddled me until I fell asleep and I felt accepted.

 

But then the morning came. Being so overwhelmed, I couldn't tell him all the information I wanted to make him feel better about H, like suppressive therapy and lessening the transmission. As I left his house, I asked him if I sent him a link to a website, would he read it and he said of course. So I sent him here :) He watched Adrial's video, read other stories and got the facts. I felt so much better.

 

However, it wouldn't be another week until the subject was brought up again. I didn't want to pressure him to talk about it because I understood how intense the subject was. So another week goes by. I needed to know what he was thinking so I made him talk to me. I realized he still had sooo many unanswered questions and I was starting to wonder if he wanted to continue things. After a long Q&A session, I gave him the option to leave the relationship, no hard feelings, no harm done (even though it was going to hurt...a lot). He answered surprised me, once again. He wanted to stay. He wanted me. All of me, H and all. In that moment I realized, "Wow, that's a real man. That's a good man." I've never felt so lucky :)

 

We've since had sex (with protection of course!) and things couldn't be better or more normal than any other time I've slept with someone pre-H. Now, I must admit, it was a little uncomfortable the first time. One part being that it was a little sore feeling and the other part being that I was just nervous! I felt kinda like a virgin lol. But we got a better handle on it now :)

 

The moral to my story? DON'T EVER think someone won't accept you. Because someone will, maybe not today or tomorrow, but I promise you it will. When I found out I was positive for HSV2, my world crumbled and assumed I'd be alone forever. I never thought I'd be on this forum telling other people out there that there's hope. I never thought I would be THAT success story. And I am :) So don't give up kiddos, have faith, and please, don't let a small bump (pun intended lol) run your life because you are worth so much more than that!

 

xoxo Faith512

[PositivelyBeautiful]

Beautiful story Faith! Thank you for sharing your most courageous moment! You deserve all the happiness in the world with this guy, so enjoy it!! :)

[mr_hopp]

I love the feeling that comes with being able to re-categorize these posts to "Herpes talk success stories" ... ;)

 

And ultimately, it's not just a success because someone else accepts us. It's ultimately a success because we accept ourselves enough to have such a vulnerable, courageous talk to begin with. Good job, you. :)

[Faith512]

Thank you @positivelybeautiful I'm really grateful for finding him :) and thanks so much for changing it to a success story @adrial , it really means a lot to me to try and give others hope like some have given me here :)

[threelittlebirds]

Thanks for sharing @Faith512! I love reading success stories that are products of being authentic, vulnerable, and respectful. It encourages me to continue this way on my journey. You deserve this happiness! And kudos to your man, I can't wait to find me one of those! ;) These stories replenish my faith that they exist!