Wow :)

[JessikaRabbit89]

I know I post on here a lot you guys lol, I just love this site and love sharing my HSV experiences with you all. I was skeptic at first to join a Herpes dating site, I was afraid of posting a photo and possibly running into someone I'd know who would rat me out. Since coming out I have a new sense of confidence so I gave a herpes dating site a shot. After a few days, I have talked to countless men, that are goodlooking, educated, funny, outgoing, and also Herpes positive! One guy in particular that I've been texting now, looks like Adam Levine (can you say YUM!?) lol and we are planning to meet up this weekend for Thai. We clicked from the first message, Skyped for 4 hours the first night, and I don't want to speak on it too soon but, if it stays this way it looks pretty promising. I am also on a regular dating site called POF and I came out on there as well, and most guys who message me are H- but still want to get to know me which I think is absolutely beautiful. So not all men are jerks I see. There really is hope for love! 🙂

[WCSDancer2010]

Yup... glad you are not restricting yourself to just the H+ dating sites (you are lucky to have so many options ... there's nothing near me :( )

 

Again, like you I'm out on my dating sites (OKC and POF) and I have had many contacts from H- men as well.

 

And try to understand ... most of the guys who are "jerks" are that way because they are misinformed and scared because of the way that herpes is (not) dealt with by the medical community. :(

[JessikaRabbit89]

@wcsdancer2010 do you live in a rural area? I live in Virginia Beach a heavy populated town and like 70% of residents here have an online dating profile lol. @inka he could be Adam's stunt double I showed a friend his photo and hes like "thats Adam's twin" lmao. Try out POF and see if it works for you!

[dreamingofsomeone167]

Just wanted to say how I love your positive attitude!

[JessikaRabbit89]

@Inka yeah I know, the majority of men online are seeking a booty call. However there a decent amount of men actually looking for something real and something more. I had a guy message me on POF today thanking me for my honesty said my profile showed that I was as beautiful inside as I was on the outside which was very sweet :) and thank you @dreamingofaoneone167. Its getting better since I met a guy who also has HSV2 and we have been hitting it off. I'm actually hanging out with him right now :D

[WCSDancer2010]

Yes @jessika, I live in the sticks ... but I still have a reasonable number of guys on regular dating sites... not so much the H sites.

 

Tinder really is a hook-up site... it's all based on a photo ... no *real* profile.... so it's pretty impersonal :(

 

And good luck @jessika with your guy!

[ohgagrl]

I guess I need to check something like that out. I am on a "regular" online dating site, what ever that means. I had a date last night with a guy and I thought we hit it off wonderfully and had planned dinner tonight. I received a text from him wanting to share that he is an alcoholic but has not had a drink since 89 and attends AA and he was trying to be transparent. So.......I shared the fact that I had been exposed to the herpes virus and explained I had HS1 which is caused by the same virus as cold sores, which he stated that he gets. He seemed ok about it and we confirmed our plans. I received a text from him that after thinking about what I shared, he couldn't get past it and that we should cancel our plans......I feel like I was kicked in the stomach....is this how I am going to be received now when I am honest....WTF.... should I have said something different? I am really disappointed. I want to cry right now, such a let down :(

[Beachdude1984]

Ohgagirl,

 

I think you disclosed at an appropriate time, being that he had shared something personal that could have been a deal breaker for you. I don't think it's fair that you accepted his alcoholism (what if he relapses and becomes violent and assaults you?) but he could not accept you with HSV. I'm sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately the stigma with genital HSV is huge, and public opinion polls I have seen show that herpes is a deal breaker for most people. I am an independent attractive 30 yr old guy with no kids and a good job and I too have faced rejection. But I have also had several great relationships with women who accepted me. Rejection stinks but you can't give up. I'm sure you are a sexy (everyone with HSV is sexy, how did we get it in the first place?) gal with many good things going for you- I'm sure you will find a good man one day. There are dozens of success storied on this site, and literally every single one is a case of a female finding a good man who is accepting. Good luck.

[JessikaRabbit89]

@ohgagirl, consider it a bullet being dodged because like @beachdude said, what if he reverted back to drinking and became abusive? That would not have been a good situation to put yourself in. Him freaking out over HSV1 is like, freaking out over a mosquito bite. Very childish and immature on his part, you don't need anyone like that. @wcsdancer I never tried Tinder before but POF is a pretty good site. My date last night went GREAT! He's had HSV2 for 2 years and he's educating me on ways to keep myself from having OBs, he's also very open about it and hilarious. He makes light of having it (we call it "herpaderps" lol). Hanging out again today. Stuck on eachother already lol.

[ohgagrl]

Thank you for making me realize that I made the right call in being forthcoming. I have been beating myself up all afternoon...I actually never even thought about the fact that this guy could relapse with his drinking. Anyway, I feel much better now and will maybe try the 2 websites mentioned. Now what is the website POF?. Again thank you...

[WCSDancer2010]

@ohgagirl

 

I recently had my first ever experience with a recovering alcoholic. Lets just say it was an enlightening experience. I learned (though both researching dating a recovering alcoholic and my actual experience) that if they have not done the work that they need to, they can remain a "dry drunk" ... ie: their behavior (selfishness, self centeredness, etc) may not change much. Also, there is always the chance of a relapse. I was willing to overlook the possibility of the latter but I quickly learned that this guy just plain has not done his work.

 

This man has Oral herpes from what you say, so it's very possible HE could be passing it on with oral sex. While I wouldn't contact him to try to get him to change his mind, you *may* want to consider sending him some info about the link between "cold sores" and what you have. Use this time to educate another.... then walk away.

 

Herpes makes a GREAT Wingman ... as you will see here:

 

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/using-herpes-as-your-wingman/

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3309/successful-herpes-disclosure-but-not-for-the-reasons-you-might-think

 

 

Tinder is an App for the phone - mostly reliant on photos to "choose" a potential person to hook up with ... if you both like each other, you get the other person's contact info. You know nothing about the other person .... and while some people on dating sites don't give out any info on themselves, there's usually at least some basic info on them which can give you a jumping off point to ask anything that you may want to know that could be a deal breaker for you.....

 

POF= Plenty of Fish ... OKC = OK Cupid. I like OKC because of the questions that people can anser .. they are written by the actual users so there's a whole lot of interesting questions, INCLUDING whether someone would date someone with herpes. So you can get an idea about how someone views many of the potential "deal breakers" that come with dating :)