Jump to content
  • Want to be a part of a supportive community? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum! We are a supportive and positive group to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have. Get your free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

Scared I may have contracted.

Recommended Posts

My ex wife and I are trying to repair our marriage. I knew she was HSV II positive. I have always supported her and been willing to live with the risk. She has had it for years and never been the cause of her partner becoming infected. That has been about 12 years with no transmission. Last sat she was not feeling symptoms of an OB nor has she had one since, however she was having a bladder infection issue. She drank cranberry juice and it went away. I have been tested within the past 6 months and was negative but after the weekend with the bladder infection I have been worried. I have not felt well (flu like symptoms) with lower back pain and a constant pain in my right leg. However, the pain seems more muscular and not nerve oriented. It is in the back of my leg (hamstring) not the thigh. It doesn't seem to start in my buttocks. I see no evidence of sores on the glans penis or the shaft. No pain on the penis, no tingling, no itching, no discomfort urinating. It has been 8 days. My biggest concern is whether the pain I am experiencing in my right hamstring is consistent with an OB. I was thinking the pain in the leg was not usually part of the initial OB but a recurring one. I will get tested in a couple of weeks. As I said, I don't have a "red base" or sores right now to have tested.


What is the most common amount of time before the pustules will present after exposure?


what about that leg pain?


Any advise would be appreciated.




Link to comment



FYI, I had nerve pain in my left leg and buttock during my initial ob. Started to feel the pain just shy of two weeks post exposure. Ghsv2


I understand you are hoping that you have remained uninfected, but should you have contracted H you should feel comfort in that there is no risk passing it on to your wife. It may actually be tougher on her should she have infected you.

Link to comment



Hello and Welcome!


Well here's the deal. 80% of people don't have an outbreak and thus don't know they have herpes ... so the lesions are not necessarily going to show if you did get it. For most they show within a few days to a few weeks. As for the leg pain, it *could* be herpes, it *could* be sciatica. And without an outbreak, you won't be able to get an accurate blood test for at least 3 months.


Odds are you will be fine. I'm a Massage Therapist and it certainly sounds more like a sciatica issue ....


For now, I suggest that you just try to not dwell on it ... perhaps go for a chiropractic adjustment or a good medical massage and see if that clears it up. If you are still concerned in a few months, go get a blood test. In the meantime, work on that relationship .... put your focus there..... you can do more about that right now than you can about the possibility of having got herpes. ;)






Link to comment

I certainly appreciate the wisdom and I do not intend to ask too much, but I do have a two follow up questions.


1. Today I developed a slight stinging after urination. I still do not have any lesions. Does this sound like it could be urethral herpies?


2. Also, is stdcheck.com a reliable way to get tested? I do not have insurance and this would be much cheaper. I know there are a couple of types of herpes blood test.... Igg or Iga or something. I do not know which one they use. Is there one I should specifically inquire about? I know you pay through them but go to local clinic to have the blood work done.






BTW, don't worry... no one has outworked me toward winning back his marriage. If she will agree to work on this again and commit to it, I will do much better not worrying about the idea of contracting. Its just that right now she is on the fence. We need intimacy, but that puts me at risk. She does not want to go back to a condom b/c she feels like it somehow "cheapens" her or the experience. We were married for 5 years. We are divorced but on paper only. We are trying to repair the marriage. This is a stressful time for me.

Link to comment

Well we can't diagnose here... the burning *could* be herpes, it *could* be a UTI. I wouldn't want to presume which one it might be :/


While I don't know STDcheck.com, the important part is the actual lab ... if its a lab like Quest, well, that's a well known and trusted lab. They should do an IgG test .. (don't do the IgM - it's not at all reliable and any Dr worth their salt won't prescribe it) BUT ... it won't give you a reliable result for AT LEAST 3 months post exposure. So no use in wasting your money right now unless you want to double check your status up to this point.


Another option for testing may also be Planned Parenthood - many do a sliding scale in their pricing.....and allow payments...


We need intimacy, but that puts me at risk.


Well, I assume you didn't use a condom when you were married? If so, I can see why it might hurt her feelings if you used one now...AND I can see why you would want to wear one. Would she agree to taking the anti-virals... at least while you figure this out? That might help to put your mind at risk and allow her to feel heard and understood.

Link to comment

She takes valtrex. I want the intimacy to be great and it is, so I hesitate suggesting condoms. I've been paranoid (convinced) that I have contracted multiple times. I'm somewhat of a hypochondriac. I don't want to bring this up and cause unnecessary pressure/concern but also its hard to not talk to her about this. She has always been my voice of reason. The leg pain is what alarms me. It has persisted for some time. If not for that I would suspect a UTI. Seems like if she had a bladder infection I could have easily picked up a UTI, but I'm no doctor. I read somewhere that a doctor suggested it would be VERY unlikely to have herpes in the urethra without also presenting other sores. I guess I will just try to sleep on it, pray, and hope the burning has subsided tomorrow. If I win the marriage back, none of this will matter :)

Link to comment

btw, I read your wall. Thank you for taking time to give me advise. I will read your next post and give this a rest for a day or two. Just a little scared and not too many people for me to talk to. Out of respect for her, I don't share this information with many of my friends.

Link to comment

Well, if she is on Valtrex your risk is around 2% of getting herpes from her per year ... about the same as a girl getting pregnant on BC, or your risk of dying in a car accident in your lifetime (ie: your risk of injury will be a LOT higher). Yet you get in a car and you don't worry, right?


You can't live much of a life without taking risks... the better the reward, the more risk we are usually willing to take. So, if she's worth it, maybe you can get some counseling for the hypochondria... because really, your fear will put a lot of pressure on her and the relationship :(



Link to comment

Planned Parenthood is an excellent source for testing and counseling after a positive diagnosis. PLUS they have a sliding scale - so you just tell them how much you make each month and they work it out. I had FREE care when I was unemployed, and even employed only part time. They know their stuff when it comes to STDs, STI's and family planning. Don't keep worrying...just go to the Dr. You can even make appointment's online. I've been going to them on and off since 1986. I've been to family doctors, and they just don't stack up in the sexual health department.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...